Thread: Not a Bible topic but there isn't a better place for this.
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Not a Bible topic but there isn't a better place for this.
Posted : 7 Nov, 2010 05:40 PM
I was doing some reading in a book about Asperger's Syndrome and Nonverbal Learning Disorder. You may ask , "Why's that?" and I understand. It has been apparent to me for most of my life that I was different from other people. It wasn't always so apparent but it did seem to be something that dominated my thinking as I grew up. As part of the process I am in of continuing with the lessons I learned in two years of counseling I am always pursuing ways to become more familiar with myself. As it turns out this is a very difficult process for people with Asperger's syndrome.
Asperger's syndrome is the opposite of ADD. Asperger's Symdrome is a social disorder. People with it have a difficult time in social situations and lack many common social skills. For example they generally don't understand body language or perhaps things have to be explained to them in detail and the instructions must be very exact. They tend to talk too much and are usually long winded and detailed in their one sided conversations.
As I read this book I began to understand that I may have either Asperger's Syndrome or a Nonverbal Learning Disorder or both. The disorder is what makes some people learn by doing and not by hearing. Their learning is best when it is nonverbal. I have a difficult time with verbal instructions because I need to write them down or make a list so I don't forget anything. That's my Asperger's Syndrom that wants everything in detail and in logical order. So I may not be able to write fast enough and I get lost in the frustration and don't get the instructions.
I have more research to do but this was a lot like reading everything about myself that I couldn't figure out. I think I will seek out a specialist in this field and get an accurate diagnosis.
I'm looking forward to reading whatever any of you might know about this or have to say about it. Statistically, 1 in 250 - 500 people have some form of Asperger's. I'll talk more about this if you want to read more.
Not a Bible topic but there isn't a better place for this.
Posted : 7 Nov, 2010 06:45 PM
@Thunder
That is awesome that you would share that with us; and you have a social disorder??? Hmmm...maybe mine is worse; I have SJCOM (stuff just comes out of my mouth) syndrome.
You said. "It has been apparent to me for most of my life that I was different than other people"
I think that is a lie from the pit of hell (sorry, remember I have SJOM syndrome :winksmile:) The.reason it is a lie is because the rest of us 249-499 have 249-499 other problems, difficulties, predisposed behavior patterns caused by genetics, environment or spiritual forces. Therefore you are no different than the rest of us; except you are secure enough to talk about it openly.
But you are in luck! Cause I have a solution for you that is just as expensive as counseling but alot more fun. You are going to think I am nuts, but hear me out.
Non-verbal learning disorder. ...What animal uses almost exclusively body language to communicate? What animal operates in a structured social environment? What animal out weighs you by 1000 lbs? What animal do you have to communicate with non-verbally cause it you can't push or pull or force your own way? What animal will give you immediate results as to your communication skills? What animal never lies, but always tells the truth?
A horse. Buy a horse and take lessons or at least take lessons from a horse trainer that teaches" FEEL". You will be absolutely amazed by what the Holy Spirit can teach you useing a horse.
Not a Bible topic but there isn't a better place for this.
Posted : 7 Nov, 2010 10:45 PM
I've thought I had mild Asperger's for a while. I once took an online test for autism and got almost exactly halfway between normal and autistic. I'm fairly outgoing and enjoy meeting new people, but I have an extreme difficulty building friendships, notice lots of patterns, and don't always understand why what I said was inappropriate.
I am lucky enough that I don't necessarily have to understand social rules to learn them though. The more I socialize, the more I learn, and I can just accept that that is the way the rules of socialization go. Put me in a situation where I don't know the "rules" though, and I'm at a loss as to how to interact (Spring Break two years ago was terrible!).
Ultimately, awareness, education and treatment are incredibly important. Good luck on figuring things out for yourself, and hopefully future generations won't have to wait so long before they can be diagnosed.
Not a Bible topic but there isn't a better place for this.
Posted : 8 Nov, 2010 10:52 AM
@twosparrows, yes we all have our differences and difficulties. The problem with Asperger�s is that is shows up in one of the harshest areas of life, social interactions. I also need to have exact directions, and the internet has been a Godsend for that. I can usually find good instructions on how to do just about anything. One of the advantages of Aspies is that we follow directions literally, so we usually have an easy time of it, unlike those who can�t seem to follow directions.
The problem with social interactions is that people do not follow a logical set of rules. We have to try and �read� the subtle messages that other people are sending us, and we tend to miss them altogether. The hardest part is that NT (Neural Typicals) have very little patience for us Aspies. The biggest thing that will help us is for people to be patient and understand that it takes us a little longer to learn how to interact with someone. Unfortunately people just expect us to know what we are doing and are not very tolerant of our mistakes. This is especially true when it comes to dating. People tend to think that we do not want to learn how to build a relationship, but this is absolutely not true, we just don�t know how, and no one will teach us how.
People love to try to push us off onto therapists, but all we really need is a little patients, understanding, and some hints along the way.
Not a Bible topic but there isn't a better place for this.
Posted : 8 Nov, 2010 12:07 PM
@Cobbler
The truth of the matter is some people are born with 'FEEL' and others aren't. But FEEL can be learned and I can think of no better way than to interact with a animal who doesn't talk and out weighs you by a 1000lbs. Clearly good incentives to keep you paying attention to nonverbal communication. Where there are good incentives the learning is quick. But like anything else ; you have to really want it.
Not a Bible topic but there isn't a better place for this.
Posted : 8 Nov, 2010 12:39 PM
@TwoSparrows, did you just go out and learn FEEL on your own with no assistance whatsoever from anyone. There are limits on comparisons between animals and people. I can�t laso a woman and make her stay. I can�t force her to work with me. I can�t make her interact with me, and each person is different.
TwoSparrows, I have attempted suicide because I can�t figure this out. I have begged and begged for help, but all people tell me is to go out and pound my head against the wall and hope something sticks. I want nothing more than to be able to understand. But just because you want something doesn�t mean that you will simply understand. I can�t learn if there is no one to practice with. I can�t learn if no one will help me understand. Comments like �You just don�t want it bad enough� really, really hurt because there is nothing farther than the truth. And what hurts just as much is that I am often told the opposite, that I want it too much and not willing to trust in God. Like I keep saying, it doesn�t matter what I do, it is always the wrong thing. People love to point out how I am doing it wrong, no one wants to take the time to show me how to do it right.
John 9:2-3 (NASB)
2 And His disciples asked Him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?"
3 Jesus answered, "It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him.
Not a Bible topic but there isn't a better place for this.
Posted : 8 Nov, 2010 04:34 PM
@Cobbler
Humbly with all due respect you have a incorrect picture of 'good' horse training. To explain ; you do not lasso a horse, make him stay, force him to work with you. No no no; you get the horse to come to you using body language. You have to read the horses body language to know when it best to let them stay or let them move. To force a horse to work with you will break down trust, respect and cooperation ; the horse will let you know if you are succeeding or failing at working with him.
You are correct ; I did not learn this overnight and am still learning and did have help (one on one help, group help. books, videos ,dvds, and much trial and error practice) Horses don't lie about your ability to feel; people do cause they don't want go hurt others feelings.
I checked your profile to see if you lived close; I would be willing to give you free horse lessons, then you would know. To work well with horses you have to learn see things from their perspective. If you don't see how can be helpful that is up to you; I can't force you to see or even look; any more than I can force a horse to willing interact with me. ( guess where I learned that! )
Not a Bible topic but there isn't a better place for this.
Posted : 8 Nov, 2010 04:58 PM
@TwoSparrow
You are basically proving my point. No matter how many times we Aspies try to say it, we don�t have the ability to see, feel, or understand what someone else is thinking or going through. We lack the tools to be able to pick up on any queues that people, and especially women, are trying to give us. We can try and try and try, but we will never just �pick it up� intuitively. It basically comes down to someone being patient and working with us.
While you can�t force good training on a horse, you can buy a horse and force it to be yours. You can buy a woman (at least not in this country) and force her to be yours. The analogy break down. If I can�t even figure out how to get a date, how am I going to figure out how to build a relationship.
You have a tendency to only see life through your eyes. You would never be able to understand what it is like for someone who lacks the ability to �read�(or FEEL to use your analogy) another person. It is no different than accusing a blind man of just not really wanting to see.
Not a Bible topic but there isn't a better place for this.
Posted : 8 Nov, 2010 05:15 PM
Cobbler, I just wanted to step in here and say that I totally get what you're talking about. My brother has autism and I definitely resonate with a lot of what you (and others) have said about your difficulty in learning things that most of us just pick up naturally.
I could go on-and-on here, but since my brother has full-fledged autism rather than aspergers, I'm not sure how much I would have to say would really apply. But, if anyone has any questions or anything, feel free to ask me here or inbox me.
