I�ve seen the profiles and have a hard time getting through one little statement �If you have any �baggage� pass me by� (those I always pass by anyway)
In a marriage relationship the husband is to be like Christ. Loving his wife as Christ loved the church. How often did Jesus tell the person that they had to get rid of their �baggage� before He would love them? Didn�t Jesus love us BEFORE we were remotely CLOSE to being lovable?
Didn�t the Proverbs 31 woman REFLECT what her husband was rather than to do this all on her own past the domineering tyrant? She reflected that HE was a great provider, she reflected that HE took the time to make sure she had the things she needed to produce the great home he lived in, she reflected who HE really was.
(This is not to say that the woman can�t bring glory to the snarly, selfish, self-centered control freak as well, which is a bit harder but doable)
For you husbands to be; How many times did God say �If you do not submit to me I will withhold the love I could have given you.�?
Not once.
For you husbands to be; How many times did Jesus say, �If you do not follow my lead in obedience, I will withhold what love I could have given you and withhold what you need till you do honor me.�?
Not once.
For you wives to be; How many times did Jesus say, �If you provide for me the way God intended for you to do, then I will submit to you the way God intended for me to do.�?
Not once. It rains on the just and the unjust (Matthew 5:45) God�s compassion shows even to the unsaved.
For you wives to be; How many times did Jesus say to the people, �If you love me the way God intended for you to love me THEN I will make sure your needs are taken care of and I will honor you.�?
Not once.
Why, then, do we believe we deserve so much more than Christ? He was a servant and came to serve us rather than expect anything in return. Why, then, do we believe that we are so lovable that anyone would be so very humbled to be in our tiny little world and praise the very ground we walk on?
Are any of us lovable? Not really. Do any of us come into a relationship without that extra baggage or at least that little carry on? No. (well, not unless that person was hatched today without a past, then there is a possibility) I�m finding that those who don�t want someone with �excess baggage� are the ones with a few trunks in the closet anyway.
You ask any guy why they married their wife in the first place and there will be many reasons why (and sometimes these admirations are spoken with a smile until they remember why they divorced � the same for women)
Now, she was this way (admirable and loving) at the onset of marriage, what changed? Could she be 'reflecting' the selfish self centered tyrant?
Jesus REFLECTED who God is during His stay here on earth. Wives are to submit unto their own husbands as Jesus did to God. Now, God always did what was best for Jesus and Jesus always submitted to God. Jesus REFLECTED this by the way He lived on this earth and brought only glory and praise to God. The guys have the hardest part in the marriage reflecting God�s love and Jesus� obedience.
The newly wed wife reflects the love and admiration of her new husband and there are very few arguments where she has to get across how she feels. If there is an argument, he is quick to change what he can to make her happy. It is only her well being that is uppermost in his mind.
The newly wed husband reflects the submissive wife who (more or less) worships the ground he walks on.
A few years down the road, when he has so many other goals and conquests, thinking that all is well in the marriage, he forgets to really listen to what she feels what she needs.
AND knowing full well that he has not heard her, she will constantly drivel the past and bring it up time after time how hurt she was causing him to turn away. The domino effect or the chicken and the egg (which came first) (please note that this is not to say that some women are also so contentious that no man would dare approach her in the first place or that she isn�t the cause of the divorce - because many are and destroy many a good man with their constant selfish self centered ways)
What�s wrong with going into a relationship (with any one for that matter) as the servant willing to uplift the other and make sure the other person is the most important part of the relationship instead of �what I want in the relationship is all that matters to make me happy�?
I expect the flack I will get from the control freaks who demand submission from their wives (all the while ignoring the context of the husband being submissive to God like Christ was) or from control freaks who demand unconditional love from their mate all the while expecting to be the little princess who has to do very little work in the relationship. But if either of these is the case, please read �Incompatibility; grounds for a great marriage� by Chuck and Barb Snyder first. Might give greater insight than the selfishness we all were brought up with in society's "ME" generation or by some churches.
I wouldn�t mind a husband who loves to watch football (as long as the leaky faucet is fixed so I can do the dishes till half time)
OR the guy who loves to go fishing (as long as the oil is changed in the car so that I can get groceries for dinner that night in case he does not catch a fish) I don�t really need a clone.
BUT more importantly, I would not mind a guy who knows the Bible so thoroughly that I can mention a verse I can�t find and he would have wonderful clues where to find it (this is a shortcoming of mine � not being able to find the verse I�m looking for � and I would utterly admire and be humbled by this difference in our relationship.) In turn he can write something like �They�re they go again with there little red car over their where there gonna crash! And hopefully he can accept my smile when I make the correction for him �There they go again with their little red car over there where they�re going to crash!� :laugh:
