"Men and women who come to Christ are not to walk in condemnation because of sin that destroyed a prior marriage. Sin is in the world. God's provision for all our sins is Christ and the cross. And in the case of a remarriage, any marriage can be born again in Christ.
The best example we have for the problem of mutliple marriages is the woman at the well. Jesus went out of His way to minister to this one person. Isn't it odd how people who've been divorced and then remarry get beat up so much? Not so with Jesus. Notice that Jesus drew attention to the fact that this lady had been married five times, and was then simply living with a man. Did he tell her to go back to one of her other husbands? No. He simply told her how to get her life together.
It wasn't a matter of the Lord approving all her past marriages. It was a matter of the Lord seeing her as a person damaged by sin. Nor did he tell her that she would have to wait in line behind all the people who had been married but once, before He could bless her. He simply said, "If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, 'Give Me a drink,' you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water." (John 4:10)
What then is our need? Our marriages need to have an abundant flow of living water. There is no greater love that a man can have for a woman than that of loving her with the love of Christ. This love transcends all other loves and gives the Biblical marriage its true strength. So it is with the woman. While romantic love is certainly a part of marriage, it is not that kind of love that bonds the marriage in covenant. Only the love of Christ can do that."
Any comments on this article called "Is Marriage a Covenant?" from the marriage bed web site at the address below
I think you definitely got something right here Dave, divorce truly breaks a lot of people. Even though I worked in a prison for more than ten years, when I came to the jail, I was still shocked at two things, the number of mental health issues in our community, and the number of Simple Assault Domestics. And don't let anyone kid you on this, the number of women arrested for this is just as shocking as the number of men
After being married to someone with rage issues, there are a lot of things I have observed and notice about women that get into these situations. Often they have very low self esteem, and they are drawn to it like a bug to the light of a bug zapper. I think this is true of most of us if we look at our own issues though, without conscious decisions to "alter coarse" we all tend to repeat our own downward spirals.
Frankly, I don't know if I have gotten better at choosing, but I think I have definitely gotten better at being honest about what I want, and ending a relationship that does not fit that criteria. Example: one of my big things is honesty. I don't lie and that really matters to me a lot. When I find that someone isn't being honest, I will end it in rather short order. And I am not talking about a guy being evasive over a gift or even trying to spare your feelings about how you might look in something, I am talking about a definite integrity flaw. Like they tell you they didn't call you because they were out of town Thursday night, then you hear them tell someone else something different they were doing that night, like they were home cleaning their house when someone came to their door.
I know it seems really minor, but liars tend to forget what they tell people, and when I catch a lie, I pay attention and when I start seeing the pattern resurface, I am gone, because I do not want to be involved on any level with a man I cannot trust. Figure if they are not honest about the easy stuff, they certainly are not going to admit that they use rage to control people either.
Another thing about survivors of domestic violence; often they are very good at playing the victim. I think that is someone that is still very sick. While it might not be their fault that they got hit, it needs to be their responsibility to walk away, but often such people are addicted to bad relationships and are just as sick as they people they are with. It is just like a co dependent cannot live with an alcoholic and not be sick. Same thing really. Where the codependent person does not look nearly as sick as the alcoholic, so it is with the victim and the abuser. Most cannot walk away because they need what the abuser is dishing out. That is truly sad because no one deserves to get hit. No one has a right to use their rage to control someone else. But all the same, it is not okay to stay when you see all the signs that things are going that way, and most of them will. They will talk themselves out of what they are seeing, "Oh, its kind of cute that he is jealous, it shows he cares" Feel free to change the he for she if its applicable, cuz it truly does go both ways.
I think if someone wants you to know they were a victim, and that seems to be important, and you are just getting to know them, that is a definite sign of an issue they are not ready to give up, and they are seeking that attention of that "other half" of the equation. People who need to be saved are not well.
I am not saying that someone shouldn't talk about their past like this, but that is not a topic that should be vitally important to disclose, especially if they take no responsibility for their part in such a relationship.
I don't try to save people, or change people, they are who they are because that is who they chose to be. Contrary to their beliefs, they don not need me to be a better person. I guess the biggest thing to remember is that time is always on your side, for genuine behavior always surfaces and prevails, good or bad. If this is not okay then walk away, because the Lord tells us that "Love is Patient, Love is Kind". I believe that is in Corinthians, and the entire chapter is well worth going over if you question whether or not you are in the right dating relationship, for if you are questioning this, chances are, you are not.
Then again, maybe this is why I am still single, but I would rather be lonely alone, then to be lonely in a marriage that I should never have entered into lightly.
:yay: This is one of the best descriptions of the marriage covenant I've seen. But...
...Sorry, I tried and failed to post the url for this entire article but you can Google the title, "Is marriage a Covenant" and go to the marriage bed web site to read it. :waving:
