A walkthrough the proverbs regarding finding a good person to marry.
Posted : 14 Mar, 2023 12:15 PM
Proverbs 12:9
Better is he that is lightly esteemed and has a servant than who honors himself and lacks bread.
Many people like to make a show of things. I have this car and this mansion, I have this gold watch and this crystal vase. But what happens when the money runs out? Does one manage his affairs wisely or does he squander when he should be investing? What does a person put their money into? Jesus said that where your treasure is, there too will be your treasure. (Luke 12:34) If you seek to see the value of a person, ask what do they put their resources and effort into?
Proverbs 15:16
Better a little with the fear of the Lord than great wealth with turmoil.
There is a very good reason to listen to this passage. God causes the Sun to fall on the evil and good and the rain on the righteous and unrighteous (Matthew 5:45) God will cause those who do not follow Him to wither like grass but His Word shall remain (1 Peter 1:24-5). Those who are under that which will likely fail will suffer because of the failure. Would you put yourself under a ceiling that may fall on you? Would you put yourself under a person who did not have your best interests at heart. Find a person that honors God first then you will have a spouse that honors you. Seek the Kingdom of God first and then all these things will be added unto you. (Matthew 6:33)
Proverbs 15:17
Better a small serving of vegetables with love than a fattened calf with hatred.
Proverbs 17:1
Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife.
There is something to be said about a quiet night at the dinner table. A nice dinner, gently talking about the day’s events. Giving each other encouragement and advice. As opposed to a meltdown of relationships, where accusations fly more than dashes of salt. At the end of a long day which would you prefer? If you can’t enjoy the company, you won’t enjoy the food. But you have a gentle character, then it won’t matter how poorly it is made because a warm heart makes even the most simple food rich.
Proverbs 16:8
Better a little with righteousness than much gain with injustice.
Proverbs 28:6
Better is the poor who walks in his integrity than he who is crooked though he be rich.
There’s a saying, pride goes before the fall. When one accumulate things that one gain in dishonest ways, one can get used to them. And when one get used to them one wants more of them. And when one wants more of them, you do more dishonest things. Eventually one will make a mistake. Everyone, sooner or later, makes mistakes. And then it’s time to pay back the ill-gotten things. Eventually those who gain much will lose much and those who have a little righteousness will reap great inheritance. In the meantime, the person who seeks after God, will have the blessing of having their hearts, minds, and spirits renewed.
Proverbs 16:16 How much better it is to get wisdom than gold! And to get understanding is to be chosen above silver.
With the tabernacle in the Old Testament, there are many descriptions of gold and brass and silver used, but in the desert, they made a gold calf out of their precious metals (exodus 32:24) Which was more precious the gold in the tabernacle or the wisdom that came from God? Did wearing gold save the ancient Jewish people from the consequences of not following God’s instructions? Why should it prevent the harm from bad choices now? Oh, it may insulate you from the consequences in the now, but they will come eventually. When that time comes, all the riches in the world will be as valuable as dirt when it comes to pay the toll. A good spouse fills up their treasury with the wisdom of God so that in the times of hardship and confusion, like a ship in the storm, they may be able to find a path to safety. Don’t tether yourself to someone who is heading for the reefs and sinking.
Proverbs 16:19
Better to be lowly in spirit along with the oppressed than to share plunder with the proud.
One of the greatest commandment is to love your neighbor as your self. If a person takes advantage of people to enrich themselves, then why wouldn’t take advantage of you when they want something? People who can not love their neighbor live shallow lives and at the end of it, will only have shallow things to show for it. They may cheat others but in the end they will cheat themselves of what is truly valuable. A loving heart. All the riches in the world can not replace it, all the trinkets can not distract from it. If you have someone who can walk through the tough times with you and not pull you down, they are above any crystal or gem that you can find.
Proverbs 16:32
Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.
Finding a man or woman that is in control of their emotions can be a tough task! It’s better though to have this sort because as man and wife, you will be doing many things together. Do you want to be rubbing against a personality of rough stones e or do you want a calm and patient smooth personality? It is better to overcome difficulties with someone who has an ordered response than a person who you don’t know if they are going to do something that will cost you in the future.
Proverbs 17:12
Better to meet a bear robbed of her cubs than a fool bent on folly.
There’s something to be said about someone who does something unwise and yet does it again. Wherever they go, they can anger just about anyone and when someone is angry, they can lash out at what is near. Abigail had a foolish husband, Nabal, who tried to cheat some people who had protected him. When he refused to repay the kindness that was given to him, some men were sent to lash out at him. (1 Samuel 25) Abigail was wise and was able to turn away the anger of the men but one might not have that ability. Having someone who will invite harm on you through their folly is never a good choice.
Proverbs 19:1
Better the poor whose walk is blameless than a fool whose lips are perverse.
Proverbs 19:22
What is desirable is a man is his kindness, better to be poor than a liar.
Proverbs 28:6
Better the poor whose walk is blameless than the rich whose ways are perverse.
The hebrew word here for perverse is עִקֵּשׁ / ʿiqqēš (ik-kashe') which is defined as twisted, distorted, crooked, perverse, perverted. (Strong’s Dictionary) In other words you should not trust someone who you can’t be sure to speak an honest word. Have you ever been betrayed by someone you thought you could rely on? Have you ever stepped in mud and slipped? There are many that try to claim that they are good people but are inside scheming to take advantage of you. Samson never learned that lesson and was undone by a simple woman, Delilah, where many men had failed to defeat him. (Judges 16) What is sad is that previously Delilah had shown herself to be a dishonest woman yet Samson still entertained her till she was able to remove his great strength. Don’t be so unwise. Instead finding someone who is kind is a balm to the soul and you will need it because marriage is not for the faint of heart. You will be stretched as you face life together and you will thank yourself for choosing a person with integrity rather that someone who will trip you up and leave you when you are all used up. So important was this idea, that they author of the proverbs wrote it several times because we tend to look at things on the surface than the heart of the matter. (1 Samuel 16:7)
Proverbs 22:1
A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.
People, if they are honest, usually have a good reputation to go with that honesty. It’s easy to pretend that you are good for a while but eventually bad habits slip through and that’s all it takes to ruin a good name. But if you find one that is known to have a good standing in a community for a long time, you may be drawn to them, but beware the wolves in sheep’s clothing. (Mat 10:16)
Proverbs 27:5
Better is open rebuke than hidden love.
Sometimes honesty is the best policy when it comes to difficult conversations but one shouldn’t try to be overbearing but respond according to scripture. (2 Timothy 4:2). If you value your relationships, you don’t let a root of anger take hold, resolve your differences and mend the rifts that have grown between. Ephesians 4:26-7 A wise spouse has the courage to talk about difficult things with gentleness.
Proverbs 27:10
Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother far away.
This is more of who you should look to when you have troubles in life. When those who say they love you don’t do anything when you have issues, do they truly live up to their words? Pay attention to those that help the hurting and the lost, the poor and the needy. You will want someone who will walk near to you as your spouse rather than walking far away!
These lessons I hope you take to heart so that you do not bind yourself with someone who brings you harm. Who you choose has the capacity to change the rest of your life, choose wisely!
1 Corinthians 6:15
Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? May it never be!
Don’t join yourself to those who prostitute themselves to enrich themselves and trample others.
