Author	Thread: Is there "just one" for you?
kdhny11 View Profile History	Is there "just one" for you? Posted : 6 Aug, 2009 08:58 AM Often we hear about how God has made one just for you - that there is only one person in the world created just for you, etc, and that we are to wait on the Lord for this one person to come into our life. Sometimes this is referred to as one's soulmate and it obviates real choice. I disagree strongly with such thinking. There is no one person, there are millions of people of various degree that are potential mates for all of us and it has to do with our willingness to love them and their willingness to reciprocate. There is no perfect mate - this is a myth. Biblically speaking, I find only two cases of there being a "One." Eve, who was created expressly out of Adam's rib for Adam alone and Rebekah who was directed by God for Isaac. In the second case, this may simply be a matter of direction by God and answer to prayer, rather than a "one". Perhaps if there was no Fall, we all would have received our Eves the same way as Adam but in a fallen and corrupt world, we have no choice but to choose. Thoughts? Post Reply
View Profile History	Is there "just one" for you? Posted : 6 Aug, 2009 06:15 PM I think maybe there is just one for a person at a time. Like, God may have given us different people to chose from, so we could know who we we're supposed to be with. I mean, people sometimes get married more than once, even more than two times, to finally find who they are really supposed to be with. and people we think are our soulmates may not be. I mean, i for sure thought the last guy i was with was my ONE but he wasn't. God has a different plan for us than we ourselves could ever concieve or comprehend. Like God sent Ruth to Boaz....she had been married once and her husband died. Her husband was a man of God. But still, even after she was married, he gave her someone else. So maybe not just one, but only one at a time. On the other hand, maybe her first husband wasn't the one, just a stepping stone to being with who she was meant for the entire time. All a part of God's great plan. Post Reply
homeshalom View Profile History	Is there "just one" for you? Posted : 6 Aug, 2009 06:37 PM I think there may be just one but for some reason many folks never reliase the perosn that may be...I think YAH (God) knows each and everyone of our hearts and he is the ultimate matchmaker.. Though we have freewill and often we choose not his ultimate intentions, because we either don't know what they are (not walking cloely to him) or we choose our own path. Post Reply
View Profile History	Is there "just one" for you? Posted : 6 Aug, 2009 07:36 PM no, i don't believe there's just 'one for you.' God Bless, Zoe :angel: Post Reply
View Profile History	Is there "just one" for you? Posted : 6 Aug, 2009 07:39 PM dear homes, welcome to the forums.. ole cattle Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	Is there "just one" for you? Posted : 6 Aug, 2009 10:49 PM I'm sure there is a perfect person...it seems like if we followed God's will to the letter that there would be. But aside from direct divine intervention...it's hard to tell sometimes if it's God or just your own will that's being done. Everyone can make mistakes...and I know some people disagree with me on this...but I think God leaves our choices up to us. I don't believe He would force that perfect person on you....even though it's whats best for you. So I think that while there may be that perfect person for you...I think it's more realistic to look a perfect TYPE of person for you...and if you're looking in the direction of the perfect TYPE...maybe God will lead that perfect person right under your nose. I do think it's possible to miss though...so watch for them. God will let you know. I don't think He's into subterfuge or misdirection. And I think finding someone that is the perfect TYPE for you...is almost as good as finding the perfect person. I don't think God will punish you for making a good choice instead of a perfect one...Paul talks about marriage kinda like this. Someone "does well" when they get married, but someone "does better" if they don't. So there are different degrees of "good" choices. But this is all my opinion. I don't think it says anything about this in the bible except "all things work together for good for those who love God". So just follow God. I guess it's that simple, right? :laugh: :peace::peace: Post Reply
View Profile History	Is there "just one" for you? Posted : 7 Aug, 2009 01:55 AM dear kdh, ya know, i just aint really sure .. i do know i havent been with her yet hehe... this is a good question. ole cattle Post Reply
View Profile History	Is there "just one" for you? Posted : 7 Aug, 2009 08:38 AM BROTHER DHTM, YES IT IS THAT SIMPLE, FOLLOWING GOD IS THE NUMBER ONE REQUIREMENT. 1 CORINTHIANS 7:10-11 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. MATTHEW 5:31-32 It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.'[f] But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery. 1 CORINTHIANS 7:39 A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, only in the Lord. MATTHEW 19:6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." 1 CORINTHIANS 7:12:16 To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? EPHESIANS 2:10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. JAMES 4:7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you HEBREWS 12:11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. PROVERBS 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding FIRST OF ALL FIRENDS, I WANT TO MAKE IT CRYSTAL CLEAR THAT I HAVE NOT WRITTEN MY COMMENTS TO JUDGE ANYONE, I HAVE NOT BEEN GIVEN THE RIGHT TO, NEITHER HAVE I WRITTEN THESE COMMENTS TO RULE OUT THE COMMENTS BEFORE ME, THE COMMENTS I HAVE WRITTEN, ARE JUST HOW I SEE �THE CHOSEN ONE� OR THE �ONE FOR YOU� discussion, FROM MY POINT OF VIEW AND FROM WHAT I BELIEVE, RELATES TO THIS DISCUSSION, IN SCRIPTURE. I THINK THE UTMOST PROBLEM IS PATIENCE, SOME CHRISTIANS, AFTER WAITING ON GOD FOR SO LONG, THEIR PATIENCE LOSES ITS FIRE AND THEY THEN SUBMIT TO AND LEAN ON THEIR OWN UNDERSTANDING BY SELCTING THEIR OWN MATE. HAVING SAID THAT, DESPITE IT NOT BEING SPECIFICALLY SAID WITHIN THE BIBLE, I STRONGLY BELIEVE THAT GOD, WHO MADE PLANS FOR US AND WHO KNEW AND CREATED OUR WHOLE LIFE STORY, WAY BEFORE WE WERE BORN, ALSO MADE PLANS FOR THE PERSON WHO IS RIGHT FOR US TO MARRY. THE SAME GOD WHO MADE THESE PLANS AND PRE-CREATIONS, FOR AND OF US, ALSO MADE CLEAR AND DISTINCTIVE PLANS FOR JEREMIAH, SON OF HILKIAH. JEREMIAH 1:4-5 SAYS, The word of the LORD came to me, saying, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations�. DEAR BRETHREN, DONT YOU BELIEVE THAT THE SAME GOD WHO CREATED JEREMIAH, KNEW YOU BEFORE FORMING YOU IN THE WOMB, SET YOU APART BEFORE YOU WERE BORN AND HAS PREPARED A MATE AND YOUR WHOLE LIFE FOR YOU? THE SAME GOD,THE FATHER,SON AND SPIRIT, WHO CREATED AND KNEW OUR WHOLE LIFE STORY, WAY BEFORE WE WERE BORN, TOLD JUDAS, THE DISCIPLE THAT BETRAYED HIM, TO, �DO WHAT HE CAME FOR� (MATTHEW 26:50), AS IN TO , BETRAY HIM WITH A KISS THAT SIGNIFIED TO THE CHIEF PRIESTS GUARDS, WHO JESUS WAS. ASK YOURSELF THIS QUESTION, HOW DID JESUS KNOW THIS PRIOR TO IT HAPPENING? EVEN BEFORE THAT TIME WHEN JESUS AND HIS DISCIPLES WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LAST SUPPER, JESUS, ALREADY KNOWING WHAT WAS TO COME, LET THE DISCIPLES KNOW THAT ONE OF THEM WAS TO BETRAY HIM (MATTHEW 26:21). AGAIN, HOW DID JESUS KNOW THAT SUCH WOULD OCCUR? EVEN PETER, WHO SAID TO JESUS THAT �Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will." (MATTHEW 26:33), DENIED KNOWING JESUS AT THE TIME OF JESUS�S ARREST. JESUS, PRIOR TO THIS DENIAL, TOLD PETER THAT �before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times." (MATTHEW 26:34), AND WHAT HAPPENED, PETER DID EXACTLY THAT WHICH JESUS HAD ACCURATELY PREDICTED. THE SAME GOD,FATHER SON AND SPIRIT THAT MADE THESE PREDICTIONS, KNOWS EXACTLY EVERYTHING THAT IS TO OCCUR IN OUR OWN LIVES AND BASED ON THE PREDICTIONS, WOULD MOST DEFINATELY HAVE CREATED A SPECIFIC PERSON OF WHOM WE ARE TO BECOME ONE FLESH WITH. FOR THIS REASON WE ARE TOLD, IN ONE OF MY FAVOURITE BIBLE VERSES TO SEEK GODS KINGDOM AND HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS FIRST, THEN ALL OTHER THINGS WILL BE ADDED. (MATTHEW 6:33). YOU SEE, THE VERSE DOES NOT GIVE A TIME LIMIT, IT DOES NOT SAY, SEEK HIM TILL YOUR PATIENCE IS LOST, IT DOES NOT SAY, SEEK HIM TILL ALL YOUR FRIENDS ARE MARRIED, IT DOES NOT SAY, SEEK HIM TILL YOUR 50 YEARS OLD AND IF YOU DONT HEAR FROM HIM, LEAN ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING AND GET MARRIED, IT SURE DOES NOT SAY ANY OF THESE THINGS, IT SIMPLY SAYS, SEEK HIM. THAT IS ALL THAT HE ASKS OF US AND IN RETURN, IF WE DO SO, WITHOUT LEANING ON OUR OWN UNDERSTANDING, ALL OTHER THINGS WILL BE ADDED. IN RELATION TO WIDOWS, GOD ALSO MADE A PLAN FOR THEM AND I BELIEVE HE OF COURSE KNEW, HAVING CREATED THEM, THAT SUCH WILL OCCUR IN THEIR LIFE, WAY BEFORE THEY WERE BORN. WHICH IS WHY HE HAS GIVEN, IN SUCH AN INSTANCE, THEM AUTHORITY TO MARRY ANYONE THEY WISH TO, �ONLY IN THE LORD� (1 CORINTHIANS 7:39) THE IMPORTANT THING IS, DURING OUR QUEST TO CONTINUALLY SEEK HIM, I THINK IT IS VERY DANGEROUS TO SUBMIT TO WHAT I WOULD PERSONALLY CALL �TRIAL AND ERROR�. IF GOD DID NOT SAY GO THERE, THEN WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE GOING. SOCIETY HAS LEADED US INTO THIS THING OF TASTING BEFORE WE BUY AND INTO GENERAL SELFISH DESIRES. BROTHERS AND SISTERS, THIS IS NOT A QUESTION OF BUYING, WE ARE ABOUT TO, VIA GODS GRACE, EMBARK ON THE JOINING TOGETHER, WITH A VIEW TO BECOME ONE FLESH WITH ANOTHER, IF YOU NEED TO BUY SOMETHING, THEN YOU KNOW WHERE THE SUPERMARKET IS, LOL.:ROFL: ITS LIKE BEING A KID AGAIN, WHEN WE WERE YOUNG, OUR PARENTS OR GUARDIANS WILL BRING SOMETHING UNUSUAL HOME, LEAVE IT ON THE TABLE AND GO OUT, PRIOR TO THIS, WE HAD BEEN WARNED NOT TO GO THERE AND TOUCH IT, BUT YET, DESPITE A SOUND WARNING AND EVENTHOUGH WE MAY HAVE BEEN QUITE YOUNG AT THE TIME, THE TRUTH IS THAT, OUR SELFISH DESIRE LED US THERE. JUST LIKE ADAM AND EVE. YOU MAY ASK THE QUESTION, OR PONDER THE THOUGHT OF, GOD NOT SPECIFICALLY TELLING US TO GET OR PURSUE, SAY, THE JOBS WE HAVE NOW OR, GET THE CAR WE HAVE NOW AND SO ON. BUT THE FACT IS THAT MARRIAGE IS A COMPLETLY DIFFRENT BALL GAME, YOU DONT BECOME ONE FLESH WITH YOUR JOB AND NEITHER DO YOU BECOME ONE FLESH WITH YOUR CAR AND SO ON, BUT IN MARRIAGE, �a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh�(MATTHEW 19:5). FOR THIS REASON, WHEN WE DESIRE SOMETHING FROM THE LORD WE PRAY FOR IT AND PERSONALLY, IF I DONT RECIEVE A CLEAR ANSWER FROM GOD REGARDING SOMETHING I DESIRE, SOMETHING LIKE A JOB IN WHICH WE NEED IN ORDER TO GET MONEY TO SURVIVE AND TO PAY TAXES AND SO ON, I COMMIT THE LORDS NAME TO IT, WHILST REMAINING IN FAITH AND CONSTANT PRAYER(1 Thessalonians 5:17), I THEN GO AHEAD WITH IT, AS SAID, WE HAVE BEEN TOLD TO, �give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's." (LUKE 20:25). BRETHREN,WE HAVE NOT BEEN TOLD TO GIVE INTO AND OR FEED OUR SELFISH DESIRES AND OR OUR OWN UNDERSTANDING, WHILST GIVING TO GOD WHAT IS GOD�S, THE 2 CANNOT WORK TOGETHER, LIGHT AND DARKNESS ARE ENEMIES. THE MAIN POINT I AM TRYING TO MAKE IS THAT, WE SHOULD BE CAREFUL TO NOT MISTAKE GODS WORD WITH OUR OWN UNDERSTANDING. IF GOD HAS NOT SPOKEN, EVEN WHEN HE HAS SPOKEN TO US, FAITH SHOULD ALWAYS PLAY A MAJOR ROLE. �Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. � (HEBREWS 11:1). BROTHERS AND SISTERS, SINCERELY ASK YOURSELVES TODAY, AM I SURE OF WHAT I AM HOPING FOR? AM I CERTAIN OF WHAT I DO NOT SEE? THE MINUTE THERE IS DOUBT IN OUR HOPES AND UNCERTAINTY IN WHAT WE DO NOT SEE IN THE PHYSICAL, WE BEGIN TO MAKE OUR OWN CHOICES WITHOUT COMMITING GODS NAME TO IT AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, WE BEGIN TO CHOOSE A MATE OF OUR OWN, WITHOUT WAITING FOR INSTRUCTION. IN ANOTHER SENSE, WE RE-WRITE THE STORY WHICH GOD CREATED LONG AGO, FOR US. PICTURE YOURSELF TODAY, SEATED IN FRONT OF THE FATHER WITH A PEN AND PAPER, RE-WRITING WHAT HE HAS ALREADY PLANNED FOR YOU TO YOUR OWN PREFERENCE AND HANDING IT OVER TO HIM. �By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible� (HEBREWS 11:3). �By faith Noah, when warned about things not yet seen, in holy fear built an ark to save his family. By his faith he condemned the world and became heir of the righteousness that comes by faith�.(HEBREWS 11:7) �By faith Abraham, even though he was past age�and Sarah herself was barren�was enabled to become a father because he considered him faithful who had made the promise. And so from this one man, and he as good as dead, came descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as countless as the sand on the seashore. All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth�. (HEBREWS 11:11:13)) IN CONCLUSION, I KNOW THAT THE WORD OF GOD DOES NOT PRECISELY SAY THAT GOD HAS THAT PERFECT PERSON FOR YOU, BUT KNOWING HOW GREAT OUR LORD IS, DONT YOU THINK THAT HE TRULY KNOWS WHATS BEST FOR YOU, FAR MORE THAN YOU DO AND THAT HE WILL REVEAL THIS IF YOU JUST SEEK HIM ENDLESSLY? IF WE DONT WAIT FOR HIS INSTRUCTION, WE WILL KEEP ON MISSING THE TARGET THAT HE HAS ALREADY SET. IT IS SO AMAZING THAT GOD, WHO DESIGNED OUR DESTINY, WHICH IS OPEN FOR US TO FIND (MATTHEW 6:33), ALSO KNEW, WHILST DESIGNING OUR DESTINY, WHETHER WE WOULD CHOOSE HIS PLAN OVER OUR OWN, THAT IS NOT TO SAY THAT IF WE CHOOSE OUR OWN PLAN, OVER HIS PLAN FOR US, THAT WE WOULD NOT ENTER THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN. EVEN ONE OF THE ROBBERS WHO WAS CRUCIFIED ALONG SIDE JESUS, SIMPLY ASKED JESUS TO REMEMBER HIM IN PARADISE, IM NOT SURE WHERE THE VERSE IS, BUT I BELIEVE THAT HE ALSO EXCEPTED JESUS AS HIS LORD AND PERSONAL SAVIOUR AND LOOK WHERE HE ENDED UP, IN HEAVEN WITH JESUS, DESPITE MAKING HIS OWN CHOICES IN LIFE, UNTIL HIS LAST BREATH. I AM HOWEVER NOT INSTRUCTING ANYBODY TO GO AND MAKE YOUR OWN CHOICES, BELIEVING THAT YOU WILL BE SPARED AT YOUR LAST BREATH BECAUSE NOT EVERYONES DESTINY IS THE SAME. THIS IS WHY I AGREE WITH DHTM, IN THAT �God leaves our choices up to us�. JUST LIKE DHTM, �I don't believe He would force that perfect person on you....even though it's what�s best�. IT IS UP TO US TO SEEK HIM FIRST, IN DOING SO, I�M SURE WE WOULD FIND THAT PERFECT PERSON. THIS IS THE REASON WHY JESUS DIED ON THE CROSS, THROUGH JESUS�S DEATH, WE HAVE CHOICE, SALVATION, ENDLESS FORGIVENESS OF SINS WITHOUT PHYSICAL SACRIFICES, GRACE, OPPORTUNITY AND SO ON. EVEN JESUS HAD A CHOICE TO MAKE, THANK GOD HE CHOOSE THE RIGHT ONE. JOHN 10:17-18 SAYS, �For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life that I may take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. This charge I have received from my Father.� Post Reply
View Profile History	Is there "just one" for you? Posted : 7 Aug, 2009 08:40 AM THE IMPORTANT THING TO ALSO NOTE IS THAT, EVEN IF SOME OF US FIND THAT PERSON OF WHOM GOD HAS DEFINATELY CREATED FOR US, THE PERSON WILL STILL HAVE THEIR FLAWS, AFTERALL, WE WERE NOT CREATED TO BE PERFECT, BUT THE FACT THAT THIS PERSON, EVEN WITH THEIR FLAWS, WAS CREATED TO BE WITH YOU TILL DEATH IS JUST AN AMAZING FEELING. DONT YO THINK SO? IN ADDITION, JUST ANOTHER THOUGHT, IF GOD HAS NOT DESIGNED A SPECIFIC PERSON FOR US, WHOM WE ARE TOLD TO FIND (MATTHE 6:33), IF WE ALL STARTED MAKING OUR OWN CHOICES IN REGARDING TO FINDING A MATE, DONT YOU THINK THAT SEXUAL IMMORALITY WILL SOUR, OF WHICH IT IS SOURING ANYWAY AND WHAT WAS IT THAT GOD SAID ABOUT SEXUAL IMMORALTY? (1 CORINTHIANS 6:18) IN ADDITION, WHAT ABOUT LUST? WHO WOULD RESPECT THE IMPORTANCE OF LUST IF WE WERE ALL IMPLIED TO FIND OUR OWN MATE VIA OUR OWN UNDERSTANDING? SO ONCE AGAIN, THESE ARE MY THOUGHTS AND AS I HAVE NOT JUDGED YOU, PLEASE DO NOT JUDGE ME, LEST YOU BE JUDGED IN THE SAME MANNER. I AM VERY SORRY TO HAVE WRITTEN HEAPS AND HEAPS OF PARAGRAPHS BUT I DESPERATELY FELT THE NEED TO DO SO. I PERSONALLY CAN NEVER GET BORED OF READING THE LORDS WORD AND I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT I READ THE WHOLE POSTS OF EVERYONE, EVEN THOSE THAT POST COMMENTS AS MUCH AS THE ONE YOU READ CURRENTLY. GOD BE WITH US ALL, AMEN.:angel: Post Reply
kdhny11 View Profile History	Is there "just one" for you? Posted : 7 Aug, 2009 09:36 AM So far there have been a lot of great comments and I have enjoyed reading them all. Some thoughts to ponder regarding this very important question. Paul says in 1 Cor 7:1: "It is good for a man not to marry. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband." Now if there was some predestined perfect mate for us, how in the world could Paul then say "it is good for a man not to marry"? Then in 1 Cor 7:8 Paul again says, "Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." SO - it seems clear that marriage is not the best option for any of us. It is not a bad option but it is a concession to us because a). there is so much immorality and b). sexual desire is more easily controlled in marriage than outside. This very clear teaching of scripture does not seem to point in any way to a concept of a perfect mate that God has predestined for us from the foundations of the earth. Instead, we have Paul essentially saying - look if you really feel you have to marry - then find a woman that is single in the church and marry her. Simple. None of this "oh God send me the perfect one for me" nonsense because the reality is that the perfect plan for all of us is to be unmarried so the moment we say to ourselves - no I really need a wife - then we are already out of God's perfect plan, though still very much in God's grace and protection. The time is short and we are to be fully dedicated to God's work, which marriage can distract us from, as Paul also says in the same chapter. I know the truth hurts and I am certainly not one of those with the gift of celibacy but let's not make things more complicated then they are. Any possible believer woman that is single and attractive to you is a potential mate. Full stop. Also, God does direct but it is us that decides. To say that it is all predestined is a major can of worms I don't think you want to open. We have free will and it is because we have free will that any morality even makes an ounce of sense. If it is all fated then we are nothing but robots living out a computer program. I know I just said something very controversial - especially for a dating site - LOL. I would welcome any comments and responses. Peace. Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	Is there "just one" for you? Posted : 7 Aug, 2009 10:32 AM Well...while I agree that there is no predestined marriage partner...I think there is one that God knows would be the best for me....so in that sense I think there is that perfect person for everyone. But it's still our choice, and we still make mistakes...but if we can know God's will and follow it closely enough, I think He would show them to us. But it gets complicated because it's not just one person's choice...but I dunno. Let's just say, I'm looking for a perfect type of person. And while I'm not looking for that perfect person per se...I kinda am at the same time...indirectly. If God really wants us together, He will find a way. I'll just trust Him and try follow what I know. He knows what's best. :peace::peace: Post Reply

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