The Greek word for "woman" and "wife" is the same word. You have to go by context to tell which is meant. Since Paul does NOT use a possessive "your" or "their" in front of "women" in the Greek, he is not talking about the deacons' wives. He is talking about women deacons. In the Greek of the first century, both men and women were called by the masculine word deacon as the feminine form did not exist yet. Paul uses it in Romans 16:1-2 when he calls Phoebe a "diakonon" (deacon) of the church in Cenchrae. Many English translations water that down and put "servant" instead of "deacon" in the text. Since "servant" is the literal meaning of diakonos/diakonon, it is technically correct. However, it is disingenuous. When the same exact word is used of males, these same translations render it "minister" or "deacon." They should render it the same way for both men and women, since Paul did not change terminology when he used it of both men and women.
As for the "husband of one wife," that is "one woman man" literally in the Greek, and it was an idiom. An idiom is a phrase that has a recognized meaning but not necessarily the literal meaning. Here are some examples of idioms in English:
to have a ball
to get caught red-handed
to pull someone's leg
to stop something cold turkey
In the above cases, we mean:
To have a great time, but it need not involve sports balls nor a formal dance
To get caught in the middle of doing something wrong, but there is most likely no red paint involved
teasing someone about something but no one is physically yanking on anyone's lower limbs
To quit doing something addictive suddenly, but no Thanksgiving leftovers are involved
Thus, the phrase "one woman man" in koine Greek literally refers to a man but could be used of either sex. The idiom means "faithful to one's spouse."
We know that this phrase can be used to refer to either sex because it has been found engraved on stone of tombs to praise the deceased inside -- and in some cases the deceased inside was a woman.
Thus, Paul was not meaning that women could not be deacons. He expected women to be deacons, and gave qualities applicable to both sexes. Even 1 Timothy 3:1-2 says "If anyone" rather than "If a man" desires to be an overseer. . . . The Greek word is "tis" which means "anyone," even though some English translations render it as "man."
Women can serve,they cannot be an overseer- elder, an elder is to be a man.
1 Timothy 3 verses 1 - 5
1 Trustworthy is the saying: If anyone aspires to overseership, he is desirous of a good work.
2 Therefore it behooves the overseer to be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach,
3 not given to wine, not a striker, but gentle, peaceable, not loving money, 4 managing the own house well, having children in submission, with all dignity—
5 but if one does not know how to manage the own household, how will he care for the assembly of God?
