Thread: Biblical Qualities and Characteristics of A Godly Mate
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Biblical Qualities and Characteristics of A Godly Mate
Posted : 6 Jun, 2011 08:14 AM
The Qualities and Character of a Godly Husband
Initially it seemed that Proverbs had little to say to the woman who sought to discern the qualities of a godly husband. I have come to see that this is not at all the case. In general, we can say that a woman should seek a man who is wise. Since we have already studied the characteristics of the wise, we will only summarize them here. These seem especially applicable to marriage: Proverbs chapter
1. A wise husband is kind and compassionate (12:10).
2. A wise husband is honest (29:24).
3. A wise husband is hard-working (12:11; 27:23-27).
4. A wise husband is truthful (12:17,19).
5. A wise husband exercises self-control (12:15; 16:32).
6. A wise husband has a gentle tongue (12:18; 15:1-2,4).
7. A wise husband is generous (14:21; 28:27).
8. A wise husband is willing to be corrected (even by his wife) and listens to counsel (12:15; 15:12,31-32; 28:13; 29:1).
9. A wise husband is a man of integrity (19:1; 20:7).
10. A wise husband is faithful and reliable (17:17; 29:3; contrast 25:19; 31:3).
11. A wise husband is forgiving (19:11).
12. A wise husband is willing to admit he is wrong (28:13).
13. A wise husband is humble (15:25,33; 16:18-19; 18:12; 29:23).
14. A wise husband is not contentious, but a peacemaker (17:1; 18:1,19).
15. A wise husband has control of his temper (14:29; 16:32; 17:27; 29:11).
16. A wise husband is a man who avoids excesses (20:1; 23:20-21, 29-35; 31:3-9).
17. A wise husband has a concern for others, especially the poor and the oppressed (29:7).
18. A wise husband can keep a confidence (17:9; 26:20).
19. A wise husband fears God and is obedient to His Word (13:13; 14:26; 16:20; 28:25; 31:30).
20. A wise husband is not a jealous man (27:4).
21. A wise husband has a positive outlook on life (15:15; 17:22; 18:14).
As I look at these characteristics of the wise husband I am reminded of the qualifications laid down by the apostle Paul for elders and deacons in 1 Timothy 3. A godly man must also have the same qualities as being the bishop/ priest (head) of his own household as the husband.
I find a great similarity between the qualifications for church leaders and the characteristics of the wise husband in Proverbs. But should this come as a surprise? After all, isn�t Proverbs written to young men who will be leaders, instructing them about wisdom? In this sense 1 Timothy 3 only summarizes what Proverbs has taught in greater detail. A wise husband is a godly man of God and is a praying man.
The Character and Qualities Traits of a Godly Wife
Proverbs is most specific with regard to the qualities of the godly wife. These are highlighted by contrasting the moral flaws of a woman who is far from virtuous.
1. A GODLY WIFE IS GODLY. Godliness begins with a proper relationship to God. A godly wife is, first and foremost, a woman who fears God.
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised (31:30).
In contrast, the woman to avoid is the one who does not know or fear God. She is sometimes referred to as a �strange woman,� that is a foreigner, one who has no knowledge of the God of Israel (cf. 2:25; 5:3,20; 7:5). She is actively evil and has no grasp of the way of the Lord.
She does not ponder the path of life; Her ways are unstable, she does not know it (5:6).
To keep you from the evil woman, From the smooth tongue of the adulteress (6:24).
While perhaps not synonymous with a fear of God, the godly wife is referred to as virtuous or excellent (12:4; 31:10). This seems to describe the moral excellence of the godly wife, a result of her godliness.
2. A GODLY WIFE IS WISE. You will recall that wisdom is personified as a woman in the Book of Proverbs (cf. 1:20-33; 8:1-36; 9:1-6). So also the ideal wife is characterized as a woman of wisdom.
The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish tears it down with her own hands (14:1).
She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue (31:26).
The opposite of the godly woman is the woman of folly.
The woman of folly is boisterous, She is naive, and knows nothing (9:13).
As a ring of gold in a swine�s snout, So is a beautiful woman who lacks discretion (11:22).
3. A GODLY WIFE HONORS HER HUSBAND. A man who has married a godly wife has a wife who will bring honor to him. She is truly a helper to her husband.
An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who shames him is as rottenness in his bones (12:4).
The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack, of gain. She does him good and not evil All the days of her life (31:11-12).
An ungodly wife humiliates and harasses her husband. She is not a helper but a hindrance to her mate. She is �as rottenness in his bones� (12:4). By her haranguing, she makes him miserable:
A foolish son is destruction to his father, And the contentions of a wife are a constant dripping (19:13).
4. A GODLY WIFE IS GRACIOUS. One reason honor is given the godly woman is that she is known for her graciousness.
A gracious woman attains honor, And violent men attain riches (11:16).
The ungodly woman is spoken of in very unbecoming terms. She is vexing, due to her contentious nature:
It is better to live in a corner of a roof, Than in a house shared with a contentious woman (21:9; cf. 25:24).
It is better to live in a desert land, Than with a contentious and vexing woman (21:19).
5. A GODLY WIFE IS FAITHFUL TO HER HUSBAND. This is most clearly shown by contrast with the woman of folly who is an adulteress.
To deliver you from the strange woman, From the adulteress who flatters with her words; That leaves the companion of her youth, And forgets the covenant of her God (2:16-17).
To keep you from the evil woman, From the smooth tongue of the adulteress (6:24).
�Come, let us drink our fill of love until morning; Let us delight ourselves with caresses For the man is not at home.�.�.�� (7:18-19).
While it is not stated explicitly, it is implied and assumed that a godly wife is one who maintains sexual purity. She is a woman who is virtuous or excellent (31:10), in whom her husband has complete trust (31:11). She does her husband only good and not evil (31:12).She teaches her son the virtues of sexual purity (31:3). Certainly she is a woman of sexual purity.
Biblical Qualities and Characteristics of A Godly Mate
Posted : 7 Jun, 2011 09:16 AM
Many Christians don't know that God has laid out such qualities we are to seek in a mate therefore, a man or a woman must first work on, and cultivate these qualities within themselves before they can seek or require or expect such qualities from someone else.
How can a person expect something from a mate they don't have. Otherwise how would a person know what to look for in a godly mate if a man or a woman does not possess the same qualitites and character within themselves.
A woman must have qualities of being a wife indeed within herself before she gets married. Jus as a man must have the qualities of being a husband indeed within himself before he can be a husband.
Marriage in title only doesn't make the man a husband, nor does it make the woman a wife, these things are within a person's BEFORE marriage as according to what God has written, because every woman is not wife material, and every man is husband material.
