Hey everybody =) So, things have been a little tense in here lately, eh? On another thread, a few of us have been discussing some ways to alleviate that. But, that thread was getting really long, and a little off-track, and was bumped to the second page... So, here is a new thread. I'll start it off with my ideas on how to get along better. Feel free to add to this list or to modify any of my suggestions!
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1. I think one of the issues with forums is that they lack accountability in that you can say things somewhat anonymously to people. You're not looking at them in the eye. You don't know what kind of day they're having. Your best friend isn't standing next to you telling you that you're being an idiot and need to back off =) For some people, such as me, that's great, because I feel I can be more open. To some extent, that's because I can kinda forget that there's a real live breathing person on the other end of the computer who's reading my words. But, that obviously has a flip side to it.
Perhaps a solution here is to have accountability partners or something of the sort. If someone really struggles with interacting with people appropriately online, then he/she could have a buddy on this site (or even someone like a roommate) who could hold him or her accountable. Maybe even something as simple as asking someone to keep on eye on what you write and send you off a message if they think you're getting out of line.
My ex-boyfriend and I are both in this one Facebook group together, and several months ago, I was discussing something on a thread and evidently not being very nice about it! So, he brought this to my attention. Initially, I was upset that he pointed this out and argued that I was correct in what I was saying. And he said he agreed with me, but that I was totally lacking in compassion and just sounding really mean. So that caused me to really take a look at how I was responding to people I disagree with and I've tried to be a little more compassionate since then. And it was good he pointed that out to me, even though it stung a little, because I wasn't really seeing that myself. Sometimes we really need a second eye looking at what we're doing and giving us a push back in the right direction when we begin to stray.
2. I think if we're angry and really emotional about something we've just read, that it's not a great time to be replying to topics on here. You know the whole take a deep breath and count to 10 thing? I think that can be just as useful online. If you're mad, back away from the computer for awhile. Do something else. Think. Pray. Then come back later to reply when you've cooled off. Or, what I've done sometimes is write out what I want to say on notepad, and then come back in a few hours to read it and "soften" it before actually posting it. A lot of times, when I come back to it, I can't believe how harsh and mean I sounded and am so glad I didn't actually post it!!!
3. Discuss the issue, not the person. That's fine to disagree with someone. In fact, we probably all disagree with almost everyone in our lives on at least one thing. Despite these differences, though, we do have to somehow figure out how to get along together and to "love our neighbours." It's not Biblical to start bashing someone because you disagree with them.
4. Handle conflict Biblically and don't seek revenge. If you're having a conflict with someone that extends beyond the topic being discussed, then send them a message privately to work it out. Don't start threads on here aimed at hurting them, and don't call them names or insult them. Interacting online v. in person does not preclude us from using the Bible as our guideline.
5. Remember that Christians follow Christ. For those of us who follow Christ, we shouldn't feel the need to take sides or to be at war with each other. We're in the same army and we believe in the same God. And the Bible places such a high priority on unity w/in the body of believers (which could be another topic here altogether).
6. Remember that we're all at different stages in our walks with God. Some of us may be brand-new Christians who haven't grown up in the church and haven't read our Bibles all the way through yet. Others may have been Christians for 20+ years and have read their Bible through several times over. If you see someone on here less spiritually mature than yourself, then seek to disciple them v. attacking them.
7. Remember that unbelievers may be reading what we're saying on here. One of my ex-boyfriends was signed up on a Christian dating site and he wasn't a Christian. He just thought that Christian women were nicer (really, he was a predator, but that's a whole other story). My point is that we ought to read our words through before posting them and think of how our words present Jesus to an outsider. If our words aren't pointing to Him, then when need to re-write what we say before posting it.
So, to re-cap here:
1. Have someone hold you accountable.
2. Take a break from posting when you're mad.
3. Discuss the issue, not the person.
4. Handle conflict Biblically.
5. Work towards unity v. discord.
6. Disciple v. attack.
7. Re-write your post if it doesn't point to Christ.
Thank you for expressing yourself and Phillip is not contentious, or unlearned, I am know who I am in Christ, the truth is at least three in particular on here are quilty of every wrongdoing and blast whoever they wish to because you are not right becuase you are not calvinist. I am on record as believing Calvinism is wrong in every proclamation they make, they is no boasting on my part it is simple observation.
Jesus said the whole kingdom is based on what you hear, and if you do not understand this truth, you will not understand the kingdom of God.
Words according to the bible are either life or death, there is no in between.
Any MAN OR WOMAN THAT CONFESSES CHRIST IS ACCOUNTABLE TO HIM AS TO WHAT THEY HEAR AND WHAT THEY DO WITH WHAT THEY HEAR.
FOR INSTANCE IF YOU RECOMMEND A MAN OR WOMAN TO ANOTHER AND THEY ARE IN ERROR YOU SHARE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR ERROR
I WISH TO SAY AGAIN i DO NOT BELIEVE THE WORD OF GOD IS AN OPINION, HE IS MY ALL IN ALL AND HE NEEDS NO DEFENDING, BUT HE DOES REQUIRE A WILLING AND OBEDIENT HEART TO HIM.
@Dennis- If you haven't done so already, you may want to go back to the previous thread we were discussing this on and read my final comment on there... The one about publicly posting allegations against someone...
@PJ- I think Ella made some excellent observations that we could all take to heart, and she asked you a couple of questions that I'd really like for you to consider and respond to:
"So why do you insist on getting your point across, and feel so insecure?"
"PJ, Maybe you should backup, and search your inner being and tell us what it is that is tugging in your heart/spirit that is causing you feel insecure and have a need to always speak out defending yourself. Do a check and balance of yourself. Is it that you don't feel apart of this group?"
Knowing how you feel about those things would help all of to know how we can respond to you in way that you'll receive better. Help us learn how to better interact w/ you =)
Now, PJ, let me address something that you said:
"the truth is at least three in particular on here are quilty of every wrongdoing and blast whoever they wish to because you are not right because you are not calvinist."
Yes, I've skimmed through pretty much every recent thread on this particular forum and I have observed that there are several persons who regularly attack those who they disagree with and/or approach people in a way that is perceived as being argumentative. That is why I said what I said on the "PhillipJohn" thread that Steve started and why I then branched the discussion off onto this thread. I doubt there is anyone in this forum (myself included) who can claim perfection at handling disagreements well. I believe that we can all learn at least a little something in that area.
I think most of us would agree that what's been happening in this forum is not godly and that it needs to change. But, rather than pointing fingers in this topic, I would really like us to focus on how we can change things for the better.
Steve pointed out an example of something that you say (that someone/something is not from God and/or from Satan) on here regularly that really pushes his buttons. I've observed you doing that also. An example of this would be on James's recent thread (the goodness and severity one). While I don't claim to be a Bible scholar, I gave James's post a fairly thorough read-through and didn't see anything in there that is contrary to Scripture (and keep in mind here that I disagree with both Calvinism and Arminianism, so I'm not reading anything through either of those lenses). The verse that is the premise of that post (Romans 11:22) uses the words goodness and severity. Those words are straight from the Bible and are supported by the context of the passage and Scripture as a whole. Yet, you made a statement in disagreement to that, saying that you didn't think it was of "the Father of the Lord Jesus Christ." It's clear from Steve's response to you there that he found that to be inflammatory, and I think that's a pretty fair way to perceive your comment. So, let me suggest some alternative ways that you can state disagreement to something:
1. Do you research and be specific. In this case, had you researched the Romans 11:22 reference, you would have discovered that James's post is not a misquote. If the matter is that you disagree with the translation, then be specific and offer up what your translation says and a well-researched reason why you believe your translation to be more accurate. If it's that you found another Scripture to the contrary, be specific and state the Scripture and explain to us how you arrive at your interpretation.
2. Be constructive. If you're going to offer up some kind of criticism, also offer a solution. Don't condemn someone/something if you care nothing about helping them find a better way. I don't believe there is much, if any, love in that.
3. Ask v. accuse. If you don't see where something is in the Bible or you don't understand how/why someone is interpreting something the way that they are, ask questions; don't make accusatory statements. You could have said something such as, "I don't see where the Bible uses the term sternness. Can someone please explain to me where James is getting that idea from?"
Let's get back on track here, PJ. Please remember that we are discussing how to get along better. What are your thoughts on what I said in my last post to you??
When you say that the word of God is not true, that is the same as calling him a LIAR. THE RESPONSE SAYING THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH JAMES POST IS TO SAY THE BIBLE IS NOT TRUE, I AM NOT GOING TO CALL THE LORD A LIAR,
WHERE DOES IT SAY IN THE BIBLE THAT STANDING UP FOR RIGHTOUSNESS IS INSECURE.
IT IS SO INTERESTING TO ME FOR ONE TO DO WHAT THEY SAY YOU ARE DOING, AND THEY ARE CORRECT AND YOU ARE WRONG
CAN YOU SHOW ME IN THE BIBLE WHERE IT SAYS BELEIVER'S CAN NOT BELIEVE THE WORD OF GOD. BECAUSE YOU KEEP SAYING THAt in an indirect way.
The bible tells us to believe, it would be unjust to tell us to do something we can not do.
"You are telling me to believe you and not the believe, where is that christ like."
That's fine if you don't believe me and/or you disagree with me, PJ. I'm sure we all disagree with lots of people on a lot of different things. But this thread is not for hashing out who's right and who's wrong, so let's not approach this discussion from that standpoint.
I provided an example of a recent incident on here to help me detail out some practical suggestions to you (well, to everybody really), not to discuss who's right and who's wrong on the topic I referred to.
The fact that you are commenting on this thread leads me to believe that you are open to suggestion. Which is great! Learning how to get along w/ others is such a basic life skill. And I don't think the key to getting along is to say inflammatory things to everyone until they state agreement with us. We can get along with others even when we disagree and I'd like to help us all learn how to do that better.
All of that said, are you going to answer Ella's questions that I pasted up above?
When you say that the word of God is not true, that is the same as calling him a LIAR. THE RESPONSE SAYING THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH JAMES POST IS TO SAY THE BIBLE IS NOT TRUE, I AM NOT GOING TO CALL THE LORD A LIAR,
WHERE DOES IT SAY IN THE BIBLE THAT STANDING UP FOR RIGHTOUSNESS IS INSECURE.
IT IS SO INTERESTING TO ME FOR ONE TO DO WHAT THEY SAY YOU ARE DOING, AND THEY ARE CORRECT AND YOU ARE WRONG
CAN YOU SHOW ME IN THE BIBLE WHERE IT SAYS BELEIVER'S CAN NOT BELIEVE THE WORD OF GOD. BECAUSE YOU KEEP SAYING THAt in an indirect way.
The bible tells us to believe, it would be unjust to tell us to do something we can not do.
I will eagerly await this answer,
Thank you, Phillip
The questions where already answered, now as you said those questions according to you violate this post and all you have said
Why is it you want me to accept a standard you do not hold to
