Hey everybody =) So, things have been a little tense in here lately, eh? On another thread, a few of us have been discussing some ways to alleviate that. But, that thread was getting really long, and a little off-track, and was bumped to the second page... So, here is a new thread. I'll start it off with my ideas on how to get along better. Feel free to add to this list or to modify any of my suggestions!
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1. I think one of the issues with forums is that they lack accountability in that you can say things somewhat anonymously to people. You're not looking at them in the eye. You don't know what kind of day they're having. Your best friend isn't standing next to you telling you that you're being an idiot and need to back off =) For some people, such as me, that's great, because I feel I can be more open. To some extent, that's because I can kinda forget that there's a real live breathing person on the other end of the computer who's reading my words. But, that obviously has a flip side to it.
Perhaps a solution here is to have accountability partners or something of the sort. If someone really struggles with interacting with people appropriately online, then he/she could have a buddy on this site (or even someone like a roommate) who could hold him or her accountable. Maybe even something as simple as asking someone to keep on eye on what you write and send you off a message if they think you're getting out of line.
My ex-boyfriend and I are both in this one Facebook group together, and several months ago, I was discussing something on a thread and evidently not being very nice about it! So, he brought this to my attention. Initially, I was upset that he pointed this out and argued that I was correct in what I was saying. And he said he agreed with me, but that I was totally lacking in compassion and just sounding really mean. So that caused me to really take a look at how I was responding to people I disagree with and I've tried to be a little more compassionate since then. And it was good he pointed that out to me, even though it stung a little, because I wasn't really seeing that myself. Sometimes we really need a second eye looking at what we're doing and giving us a push back in the right direction when we begin to stray.
2. I think if we're angry and really emotional about something we've just read, that it's not a great time to be replying to topics on here. You know the whole take a deep breath and count to 10 thing? I think that can be just as useful online. If you're mad, back away from the computer for awhile. Do something else. Think. Pray. Then come back later to reply when you've cooled off. Or, what I've done sometimes is write out what I want to say on notepad, and then come back in a few hours to read it and "soften" it before actually posting it. A lot of times, when I come back to it, I can't believe how harsh and mean I sounded and am so glad I didn't actually post it!!!
3. Discuss the issue, not the person. That's fine to disagree with someone. In fact, we probably all disagree with almost everyone in our lives on at least one thing. Despite these differences, though, we do have to somehow figure out how to get along together and to "love our neighbours." It's not Biblical to start bashing someone because you disagree with them.
4. Handle conflict Biblically and don't seek revenge. If you're having a conflict with someone that extends beyond the topic being discussed, then send them a message privately to work it out. Don't start threads on here aimed at hurting them, and don't call them names or insult them. Interacting online v. in person does not preclude us from using the Bible as our guideline.
5. Remember that Christians follow Christ. For those of us who follow Christ, we shouldn't feel the need to take sides or to be at war with each other. We're in the same army and we believe in the same God. And the Bible places such a high priority on unity w/in the body of believers (which could be another topic here altogether).
6. Remember that we're all at different stages in our walks with God. Some of us may be brand-new Christians who haven't grown up in the church and haven't read our Bibles all the way through yet. Others may have been Christians for 20+ years and have read their Bible through several times over. If you see someone on here less spiritually mature than yourself, then seek to disciple them v. attacking them.
7. Remember that unbelievers may be reading what we're saying on here. One of my ex-boyfriends was signed up on a Christian dating site and he wasn't a Christian. He just thought that Christian women were nicer (really, he was a predator, but that's a whole other story). My point is that we ought to read our words through before posting them and think of how our words present Jesus to an outsider. If our words aren't pointing to Him, then when need to re-write what we say before posting it.
So, to re-cap here:
1. Have someone hold you accountable.
2. Take a break from posting when you're mad.
3. Discuss the issue, not the person.
4. Handle conflict Biblically.
5. Work towards unity v. discord.
6. Disciple v. attack.
7. Re-write your post if it doesn't point to Christ.
PJ, we are not discussing or debating or making statements about Calvinism or Aminianism in this thread. Once again, this thread is about getting along with each other. It would be helpful if we could stay on topic. While your intention may not be to start a debate, I think that it would be very easy to perceive your comments as being in that spirit.
Part of getting along with each other and having good manners is to look beyond our own perceptions and our own desires and consider how others may be viewing what we do.
That said, when I used the word "opinion" in my earlier comment to you, I did not mean that the Word of God is an opinion. I don't believe that it is. And that is all I will say about that, because we need to stay on topic here =)
OK, PJ, let's make this very clear, I have spoken out in defense for the way things were improperly handled regarding you, BECAUSE, I personally, think things could have been done in a more civil manner by those who suppose to be more spiritual mature than you. BUT, it WAS NOT in defenses of your off the wall behavior or things you said...
I realize that you are growing in your faith walk with the Lord, and you take the word of God at face value, and that's a good thing in some areas, yet your spiritual insight in many things is somewhat off shore... I don't understand why it is that you continue trying to MAKE a person come to your understanding when it has been pointed out to you that you're not in the loop on many things concerning the scripture, and you refuse to allow others to help you. Although I know it is helping you, because I see a diffenence in your postings.
Now, as Pixy has pointed out, that this thread is not about you or Calvin, I would think this thread is about finding solutions, and being effective when responding to each others when we disagree. So why do you insist on getting your point across, and feel so insecure? Nowhere is Steve or anyone attacking you, he is expressing how what was said by you made him feel, and he has a right to express such feelings. And if you're so into the word as you claim, you should do the right thing, and find no place in your heart to be offended by what he has said... keep it movin!
Being insecure is not a fruit of the Holy Spirit, so get to work on allowing God to change your heart and spirit in order that you are able to over look being so sensitive to what others say... If you're not apart of the solution, then you're the cause of the problem. So check and balance
PJ, Maybe you should backup, and search your inner being and tell us what it is that is tugging in your heart/spirit that is causing you feel insecure and have a need to always speak out defending yourself. Do a check and balance of yourself. Is it that you don't feel apart of this group? I think this would be a great beginning toward everyone getting along with each other, when we do a self-search of our own spiritual hearts,and spirits, and as Paul teaches RENEW OUR MINDS.
As someone made mention of the passage, out of the mouth the heart speaks, which lets us know that what we speak comes from our hearts. And as Jesus says, it is not what goes into a person that defiles, its what comes out of the mouth and behavior. A chnage of heart bring about a NEW ATTITUDE!
And Steve, this is not just for Pj, its for you, me , and evryone else as well. But I am now speaking directly to you, because I know you know, you must allow grace to abound in your heart toward PJ, and over look (ignore) his comments. Just as God's grace abounds toward you, and you don't deserve God's grace. Yet, He over looks your faults and sees your needs., so you must do the same. As the writer of Hebrews says, Just as Christ has compassion on us, we must also have compassion on those who are WITHOUT the knowledge of Christ that we have, and do not know in the fullness of God's word especially, since PJ too, is called a brother in Christ.
getting along with others is a spiritual things from within our hearts, because Longsuffering and Temperance are fruit of the Holy Sprit, and shows grace and compassion in action on your(our) part, character and personalitiy traits of Christ ... God has a perfect way of testing us in everything we claim to know and have as believers, and He will prune back those branches that are not producing spiritual fruit by the Holy Spirit. So since you are the stronger christian, should you not consider the weakness of the weaker chirstian? Also, know that God is pruning back your branches for your good to bring you into a closer wlak and more knowledge of who He is and His truth. Can't finish college without a test, can;t come into God's wisdom, knowledge or understanding wihtout a test in those areas where you (we) are lacking. your journey in ministry is just beginning, my friend.:glow:
I think this is what Paul teaches us in Romans chapter 12-16...We who are strong (christians) ought to bear the infirmities of the weak (christian), and not please ourselves. Let everyone of us please our neighbors (brothers/sisters) for his/her good to edification. For even Christ did not please Himself, but it is written: The reproaches of those who reproached You fell on Me (Christ). For whatsoever things were written beforetime were written for our learning, so that we through PATIENCE AND COMFORT of the scriptures might have hope. Now the God of PATIENCE AND CONSOLATION grant (exhorts) you to be likeminded one toward another according to Christ Jesus. So that YOU with one mind and one mouth will gloritfy God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Romans chapter 15.
I think you're the one who made mention about witnessing in street ministry. Yes, it is obvious that there has been witnessing to others on the streets or wherever, because this is where spiritual growth and christian maturity comes into play and is seen in action and reality.
When christian experience and spiritual maturity has been acquired through witnessing to others on the streets or wherever in ministry, it shows. because you must put up with many things from others, being reviled by others when you're trying to tell them about Jesus' love isn't fun, neither is being spat upon, called many names, Bibles thrown at ya, doors slammed in your face, the name s of Jesus and God blashemed, etc. yet you must carry on in the name of the Lord as good soldiers spreading the gospel of Jesus Christ.
I am so very happy Jesus nor Paul and the other Apostles didn't give up in their witnessing about Jesus and the kingdom of God. And they suffer much reproach even unto to death. And I don't think anyone has suffered unto death on this board.
... and what does the scripture say? Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake (Christ's sake) Rejoice and be exceedingly glad for great is your reward in heaven for so the persecuted the prophets who were before you...
And I say, if they did these things to Jesus, and the apostles and prophets before us, so who are we?...
CORRECTION: I MEANT TO SAY IN MY ABOVE POST, THAT IT IS OBVIOUS THERE HAS NOT BEEN ANY STREET OR MUCH OF ANY KIND OF WITNESSING EXPERIENCE IN MINISTRY.
I will catch John Mac on Tv later on today when he comes on. Such a great man in the gospel. And I pray you will continue in the things he teaches..
In fact, I would encourage you to reach out to him personally, and let him know your love for him and ask that he be your mentor in ministry. He'll do it... put your faith into action, and may it be to you according to the pweor and faith that works in you! Go for it, you'll be surprised as to what is going to happen. I speak "going to happen, because I speak those things that are not now, as through they are/will be in the future in your life.... go for the gold! :dancingp::yay::angel:
I took some time off to think,ok. Ti agree with calvin does not make a person wrong or to be cathlic does not make you wrong or to be Luthern. The men behind these things are just men.They may have made errors in some of there statments or made rash decsions because they are like us flawed.
Even tho I disagree with Lutherns, cathlics, Calvinist I will never say they were heretics.Because I know it is a lie.They are not.
In a free country are right to worship as we see fit should be proteceted. If you abuse that right I have one thing to say hit the road. Or keep your opinions to yourself.
Pixy this is for you. I married a lady from the Ukraine.I know the $1,000's of involved in a move of that sort. To get the lady here just here, $7,000!!! Fees the first year are $3,000, Kids $2,000 a piece. Svillana had a son. Bribe to get son out of army cost no ones bussiness.
Wife can only bring 2 -75 pound bags to USA. If a woman comes to the USA and things do not work out they can lose everything they own.
only 10% of these women know how to drive.
If the husband refise to teach her to drive she finds friends who will.I taught 3 women at one time.It was more than what a bargained for. I have seen men abuse these women fromoutside the USA and say they did no wrong to many times.It makes me sick. Know you understand why I said something. I do not like taking some guys wife home at 2:00 am in the morning on a cold night when he leaves Monday and comes home Friday. If a man brings her here he takes care of her.If he does not then he is not a man!!!!!!
