Hi. I have a rather conservative view on marriage, divorce, re-marriage, sex (when it is allowed) etc. but as I look through this site and forum I notice that there are quite a lot of views floating around. I wonder how people give biblical arguments and reasonings for their views and choices.
Chapters like Matt 19 (and 5), 1Cor 7 (and 6), Eph 5 1Tim 3 and Heb 13:4 come to mind and should be relevant to look into.
My question to you is, does your mom know about this adulterous affair?... if only you and the other children or whoever knows about this adultery that your father is commenting, and your mother does not know... then the proper thing for you to do as per what scritpure teaches us. Of course, as has been said, PRAY as to how, and when, and what you are to say, and where have a meeting, and ask Gd to be with you as to how and what your react and response will be when your father respond to your confrontation. Then confront your father with EVIDENCE, not just hearsay, but have proof that this is taking place.
If you and others in the family know about this adulterous sin, as the scriptures teaches, all of you who know about this are to get together and call a meeting with your father, and ask the questions, and present your evidence as to what you know, what you've seen, what you've heard, and express your pain and hurt of even hearing about him doing such to your mom, and his family. Then if it is a truth, give your father a warning, that if it is not broken off you will expose hiim to your mom. And if he does not break it off, IMMEDIATELY, you and the others are to call a meeting with your mom, and tell your mom what you know and have heard about your father having an adulterous affairs. And then let her handle this from there out, because this is HER husband, not yours... he's only your father, and the husband is sanctififed by the wife not the children, so she is to take care of this and make her decisions as to what she will do about her husband.. The Bible teaches us that when you see someone who calls him/herself a believer in sin, two or three or those who know about the sin are to go to that person privately, and confront them with the information, and warn him/her, adn if the person does not listen, it is to be told openingly exposed to the church,,, in this case reveal this to your mom, and she should be the one to tell the pastor.
May it be to you according to the faith that works in you...
Sorry I forgot to give you the scripture passage... Matthew chpater 18: verses 15-22, this is the proper way to confront someone who is in sin according to what God has to say.
Magnus, my point is, there is repentance and grace. Sin causes heart ache and leads to eternal death.
Mark 2 vs 17 They that are whole have no need of the physician, but they that are sick. I did not call the righteous but sinners to repentance. This scripture is for some and the "go and sin no more was for others."
There are lots of divorced people on this sight and I'm not about to paint them in a corner.
David was a murder and adulterer and he made. Repentance was his key to success along with faith.
I suspect that your dad thinks he has found love...
In fact, it is all about love ..... not the terrible mistake he made but terrible mistakes you could make
The love of spouses must go beyond the foolishness of people stumbeling over their chemistry with another person...
1Cor13:5-8
These are not only times of prayer but also about loving and keep reaching out to eachother
Only one who feels truly loved (in good and bad times) will be
able to confront his own wrong behaviour
Loving a good and righteous person is nothing special....
but keep loving the one God has put on your path... when that person hurts you and is breaking all the rules.... that covers a whole other dimension of love...
I am not saying you should endure....
Iam saying to please not stop loving and show it in every possible way
you might want to chose side with your mom but remember that your dad is in most need of love
Just a few thoughts on your post r irish
May the Lord speak words of wisdom to you and may His love be given as abundantly as it is received
Oh and perhaps now is a good time to clarify that my own marriage was on the brink of separation some time ago and this 1Cor13 part I mentioned in my previous post has made me see, understand and admit, that loving another person is the most difficult thing to do, p�rticulary in the bad times where it is not sickness or another nobody�s fault issue sables your relationship down to zero, but when it is the stupid behaviour of one and the even more stupid reaction of the other....
My husband and I are back together since a couple of months
not without problems but with a total new attitude towards eachother
discounting the separation... we go for 15 years marriage this April....
I do not wish to be congratulated nor applauded, I just want
to thank that I have a bible and imensely thank that person who advised me to thoroughly study 1Cor13:4-7
Now I am not saying that all marriges can be saved and no divorce is therefore needed or condoned.... I just say that love can conquer in a marriage.
And I am also saying that under no circumstances christians can point fingers to divorced people. I have seen this happen (not only to me) and it is a filthy habit of those who think that
God is on their side.
As much as Exodus 20:14 is a commandment, as much we should realize that nobody who is divorced got married with the intention to not keep that commandment
The struggle and suffering people go through during a divorce is, again in my view, a sign that christians should show love to those who have come to the painful conclusion that their relationship can no longer have the name of holy matrimony.
I wish and pray that christians, particulary those who are so quick with slapping condemning bible verses around, can be more sensitive to the pain and trouble divorced people go through in their relationship with God
It strikes me that,they find in God a merciful and comforting Father and in other christians nothing but hard stoned bible quotes
2sparrow, I was waiting for your response, nevertheless, what I have presented no spiritual or secular counselor would disagree with the proper approach I have given whrn confronting someone who has sinned (thats what God call adultery SIN! Which is an offenses against another, and here is what God has to say about the matter.
Irish ask for the proper SPIRITUALsuggestions to handle this matter, not personal OPINIONS. Therfore, if this is to be handled properly SPIRITUALLY, this is how Jesus said to handke the matter: "If your brother( or sister) sins against you, GO AND TELL this person his/her fault between you and him/her(privately), and this person alone. And if the person hears you (listen and turns around), you have gained your brother or sister. BUT, if he/she will not hear (listen) to you, THEN take with you two or three more witnesses, so that in the mouth of the witnesses every word might be established. AND if he/she still neglects (refuses) to hear (listen), TELL IT TO THE CHURCH ( PASTOR OR SPIRITUAL LEADER), but if he/she DOES NOT LISTEN (REFUSES TO HEAR). AND IF HE/SHE DOES NOT HEAR THE CHURCH (after pastoral counseling) LET THIS PERSON BE to you like a heathen and a tax collector. These are Jesus' words, not mine."
This is the proper appraoch when confronting someone who has sinned against you whether you are a Christian or a sinner, and is profitable appraoch whetherr being advised in spiritual or secular counseling. You alway confront the person first, with your information or evidence, and if this doesn't work, then bring in your witnesses...
