Thread: Not a Bible topic but there isn't a better place for this.
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Not a Bible topic but there isn't a better place for this.
Posted : 7 Nov, 2010 05:40 PM
I was doing some reading in a book about Asperger's Syndrome and Nonverbal Learning Disorder. You may ask , "Why's that?" and I understand. It has been apparent to me for most of my life that I was different from other people. It wasn't always so apparent but it did seem to be something that dominated my thinking as I grew up. As part of the process I am in of continuing with the lessons I learned in two years of counseling I am always pursuing ways to become more familiar with myself. As it turns out this is a very difficult process for people with Asperger's syndrome.
Asperger's syndrome is the opposite of ADD. Asperger's Symdrome is a social disorder. People with it have a difficult time in social situations and lack many common social skills. For example they generally don't understand body language or perhaps things have to be explained to them in detail and the instructions must be very exact. They tend to talk too much and are usually long winded and detailed in their one sided conversations.
As I read this book I began to understand that I may have either Asperger's Syndrome or a Nonverbal Learning Disorder or both. The disorder is what makes some people learn by doing and not by hearing. Their learning is best when it is nonverbal. I have a difficult time with verbal instructions because I need to write them down or make a list so I don't forget anything. That's my Asperger's Syndrom that wants everything in detail and in logical order. So I may not be able to write fast enough and I get lost in the frustration and don't get the instructions.
I have more research to do but this was a lot like reading everything about myself that I couldn't figure out. I think I will seek out a specialist in this field and get an accurate diagnosis.
I'm looking forward to reading whatever any of you might know about this or have to say about it. Statistically, 1 in 250 - 500 people have some form of Asperger's. I'll talk more about this if you want to read more.
Not a Bible topic but there isn't a better place for this.
Posted : 8 Nov, 2010 09:48 PM
@Cobbler
Lol !!!
Is that all you wanted ; sympathy? Why didn't you just say so; It would of saved me alot of typing!
You said that I "have a tendency so see things only out of my eyes". Let me share with you what I see from my eyes as I volunteer at Happy Trails Riding Academy; a non-profit organization that teaches handicapped children and adults (many autistic kids) to ride horses.What I see from my own eyes are kids with some with such severe autism they don' t even have complete control of their own bodies. What I see with my own eyes is these kids getting better and happier as are their parents. What I read here with my own eyes is a full grown funtioning man saying "you don't understand ,I can't do it so I am not going to listen" So I guess you are right; I have a tendency to only see things out of my own eyes; but you fail to appreciate what my eyes have seen.
Not a Bible topic but there isn't a better place for this.
Posted : 8 Nov, 2010 09:52 PM
@ Cobbler: Thanks for the comments.
I also read that people with Asperger's may have suffered an injury to the right lobe of their brain. I was dropped down a flight of stairs when Iwas a baby and was in a car accident in which I was thrown from the car when I was very young. My father was also physically abusive and I know he knocked me out a couple of times. In 2001 I was involved in a kind of accident at work. The accident had nothing to do with my job or my work. Myself and most of my coworkers were exposed to a chemical that is used to harden fiberglass. As a result of my exposure I now have cognitive difficulties and short term memory loss as well as a form of asthma. It was in the case for the law suit I filed that I became curious about the extent of my brain damage and that search brought me to Asperger's and Nonverbal listening disorder.
I agree with Sparrows. (And by the way I used to raise Arabians) We all have something, but this is very crucial for me to discover this. I believe it explains so much of the awkwardness that I have experienced throughout my life and helps me understand what I have to do to be able to live with it. When it wasn't known to me I believed I was a victim but now I understand that even if that may be the case in the sense of a brain injury or two, I am not a victim but I am a person that has a condition that can be understood and therefore I have a way to explain myself in a way I understand. It is as if I found the map that will help me get out of a feeling of loss. I am looking forward to the journey.
Not a Bible topic but there isn't a better place for this.
Posted : 8 Nov, 2010 11:27 PM
@Thunder
thanks for your post, sorry I incurred some 'cobble' stones ,it was my own fault; I should of known when to quit. I will pray your journey will produce the fruit you desire.
@Cobbler
I apologize if I came off as insensitive or harsh. I just get frustrated when I see those kids with so little do so much joyfully, and we (myself included) complain about having to do so little with so much. I apologize for my rudeness. We all have our own battles to fight; it is good to know the victory belongs to the LORD!
Not a Bible topic but there isn't a better place for this.
Posted : 9 Nov, 2010 06:22 AM
Is that all you wanted ; sympathy? Why didn't you just say so; It would of saved me alot of typing!
No, I do not want sympathy, I desire understanding and help. I don�t want people to feel sorry for me.
� complain about having to do so little with so much.
I do have many great abilities, I am even very confident that I can be a good husband. But, I can�t figure out how to start a relationship. It does not good to have the skills to BE IN a relationship if you can�t START a relationship. To use a horse analogy, all the ridding skills in the world mean absolutely nothing if you can�t figure out how to get ON the horse.
Your attitude is just like everyone else�s. I state that I don�t know what I am doing, but instead of helping me, you flat out refuse to admit that I have a problem, and instead you start accusing me of just not being willing to try. My being single is proof of my lack of trying. The fact that I have tried and failed over and over again means absolutely nothing. There is nothing wrong with me, I just won�t try.
I don�t know what I am doing when it comes to starting a relationship. I don�t know how else to say it, I DON�T KNOW, I DON�T KNOW, I DON�T KNOW, I DON�T KNOW, I DON�T KNOW, I DON�T KNOW.
I have asked for help over and over again, but every time I told that the only problem is that I am not willing to try. It can never be my difficulty to start a relationship because of my Autism, it must be because I am just not willing to try. It�s all my fault, I am just too lazy. I could have any woman I wanted if I would but lift a finger. No one needs to help me it is all up to me.
I have even been accused of not being a real man because I don�t know how to start a relationship. If I don�t know how to do it on my own, then I am not good enough to be a husband, I don�t deserve a wife. Maybe I should just take my sister�s advice, just learn to live alone since my only other choice is to commit suicide.
Not a Bible topic but there isn't a better place for this.
Posted : 9 Nov, 2010 08:48 AM
@Cobbler
You say you desire understanding and help. You say you don't know how to start a relationship. Please allow me to help by saying a good way to start and keep a relationship is to accept a apology when it is given. You are right ; I am not in your shoes and neither is anyone else; only you. No one else can understand perfectly where you are coming from ; but the same van be said for all of us.
You say you want understanding and help. I have worked with the autistic in the horse program. I have tried to help, but you just say I don't understand, therefore refused to listen to my feeble attempt to help. So I got louder and sharper hoping to peirce the barrier you have set up so you may hear. Yes I know that almost never works.
HEADS UP :
*Have you ever stopped to consider that just because someone doesn't understand doesn't mean they are judging you?
*Have you ever stopped to consider there some with good hearts that don't need to understand in order to love you?
*Have you ever considered that if you spent as much effort on understanding others as you spend on wanting to be understood it just might solve a hugh portion of your difficulties?
I'm sorry there I go trying to help again when all you desire is for others to understand you. How's that been working for you so far?
I know you are having a struggle with this I am merely trying to offer some tools.
Not a Bible topic but there isn't a better place for this.
Posted : 9 Nov, 2010 08:51 AM
@ Cobbler...your closing Quote " Maybe I should just take my sister�s advice, just learn to live alone since my only other choice is to commit suicide."
Ima not likin readin those last two words...No matter what struggles you or anyone else have been through with this Aspergers...It is not as Bad as you are making out to be...You as Many Here have Struggled with being told we are not Good Enough, Smart enough, Good Lookin enough...etc...etc...etc...It is HOW we Accept these Shortcomings of Our Self and Apply the Solution that is Most Important...There are many in the WORLD...books, seminars, CD's, DVD's, discussion groups...BUT...most Importantly...Jesus*...our Healer...Did yall forget ???
I have many Shortcomings...one of the lesser I have struggled with all my Life is Dyslexia...Everyday...I ask the LORD to Continue with my Healing an Praise Him for it...:bow:...I work with #'s an words everyday...Go Figer...Anywho...Lighten up on yer Self...Yer way more Important to GOD than anyone who says otherwise...Remember...You are Loved an NOT Alone...xo
@ Thunder...Its always good ta dig deep inside an find an answer...what a Blessing...God be with you...xo
Not a Bible topic but there isn't a better place for this.
Posted : 9 Nov, 2010 10:49 AM
@twoSparrows, my frustration with you, and many others who have given me the same advice is that you will not listen to my problem. I know I need to practice learning to build relationships. I am not an idiot. But you keep telling me to use abilities that GOD HAS NOT GIVEN ME. I AM NOT ABLE TO �READ� OR �FEEL� A PERSON NOT BECAUSE I AM NOT WILLING TO TRY BUT BECAUSE I DO NOT HAVE THE ABILITY TO. It is like telling an amputee that all he needs to do to hit the baseball is to pick up the bat and swing at the ball until he hits it.
I don�t know how else to say it. I cannot use abilities I do not have to be able to learn how to start a relationship, but everyone keeps telling me to go out on my own and do just that. I have tried to understand my situation from other people�s point of view, and I have spent many many hours trying to figure out how to explain it to people. Yes people do judge me, I have been accused of one sin after another. People do not care enough to take the time to understand. I can understand if they do not know how to help me, but if they keep telling me to do what I do not have the capability to do, then it is obvious that they are not taking the time to understand.
@GodsJude I am not saying that I am going to commit suicide, my point is that is how callous my friends and family are towards my situation. Yes, I know I need to practice, but no one has been able to help me understand how I am supposed to be able to read someone�s mind if I can�t read their body language, or understand subtle hints. I can�t practice if I scare women away before I can even get a date.
There really is an easy way to help me out. Stop being subtle and just SAY IT! Stop trying to give me subtle hints and state it. But that is not how relationships are built, that is not dating is done.
Not a Bible topic but there isn't a better place for this.
Posted : 9 Nov, 2010 03:06 PM
@ Cobler...you shared ~ There really is an easy way to help me out. Stop being subtle and just SAY IT! Stop trying to give me subtle hints and state it. But that is not how relationships are built, that is not dating is done.
Well there ya have it...Your wanting the Gal to tell ya...most women wont do that...unless they are Floozys...:laugh:
How bout stepin it up by telling & asking...Ifin ya like a Gal an wanna ask her out...Try this..." Ya know...I'm not the Sharpest Crayon in the Box an I'm not good at doing this...BUT...nothing ventured nothing gained...Would you like to go out with me sometime for a bite to eat, coffeeor maybe a movie ?
Then its up to her to say Yes or No !!! Dont be discouraged ifin she says No...cuz Ifin she does...she aint for you...Love ya...xo
