Author	Thread: getting along =)
Admin	getting along =) Posted : 1 May, 2010 11:57 PM Hey everybody =) So, things have been a little tense in here lately, eh? On another thread, a few of us have been discussing some ways to alleviate that. But, that thread was getting really long, and a little off-track, and was bumped to the second page... So, here is a new thread. I'll start it off with my ideas on how to get along better. Feel free to add to this list or to modify any of my suggestions! ______________________________________ 1. I think one of the issues with forums is that they lack accountability in that you can say things somewhat anonymously to people. You're not looking at them in the eye. You don't know what kind of day they're having. Your best friend isn't standing next to you telling you that you're being an idiot and need to back off =) For some people, such as me, that's great, because I feel I can be more open. To some extent, that's because I can kinda forget that there's a real live breathing person on the other end of the computer who's reading my words. But, that obviously has a flip side to it. Perhaps a solution here is to have accountability partners or something of the sort. If someone really struggles with interacting with people appropriately online, then he/she could have a buddy on this site (or even someone like a roommate) who could hold him or her accountable. Maybe even something as simple as asking someone to keep on eye on what you write and send you off a message if they think you're getting out of line. My ex-boyfriend and I are both in this one Facebook group together, and several months ago, I was discussing something on a thread and evidently not being very nice about it! So, he brought this to my attention. Initially, I was upset that he pointed this out and argued that I was correct in what I was saying. And he said he agreed with me, but that I was totally lacking in compassion and just sounding really mean. So that caused me to really take a look at how I was responding to people I disagree with and I've tried to be a little more compassionate since then. And it was good he pointed that out to me, even though it stung a little, because I wasn't really seeing that myself. Sometimes we really need a second eye looking at what we're doing and giving us a push back in the right direction when we begin to stray. 2. I think if we're angry and really emotional about something we've just read, that it's not a great time to be replying to topics on here. You know the whole take a deep breath and count to 10 thing? I think that can be just as useful online. If you're mad, back away from the computer for awhile. Do something else. Think. Pray. Then come back later to reply when you've cooled off. Or, what I've done sometimes is write out what I want to say on notepad, and then come back in a few hours to read it and "soften" it before actually posting it. A lot of times, when I come back to it, I can't believe how harsh and mean I sounded and am so glad I didn't actually post it!!! 3. Discuss the issue, not the person. That's fine to disagree with someone. In fact, we probably all disagree with almost everyone in our lives on at least one thing. Despite these differences, though, we do have to somehow figure out how to get along together and to "love our neighbours." It's not Biblical to start bashing someone because you disagree with them. 4. Handle conflict Biblically and don't seek revenge. If you're having a conflict with someone that extends beyond the topic being discussed, then send them a message privately to work it out. Don't start threads on here aimed at hurting them, and don't call them names or insult them. Interacting online v. in person does not preclude us from using the Bible as our guideline. 5. Remember that Christians follow Christ. For those of us who follow Christ, we shouldn't feel the need to take sides or to be at war with each other. We're in the same army and we believe in the same God. And the Bible places such a high priority on unity w/in the body of believers (which could be another topic here altogether). 6. Remember that we're all at different stages in our walks with God. Some of us may be brand-new Christians who haven't grown up in the church and haven't read our Bibles all the way through yet. Others may have been Christians for 20+ years and have read their Bible through several times over. If you see someone on here less spiritually mature than yourself, then seek to disciple them v. attacking them. 7. Remember that unbelievers may be reading what we're saying on here. One of my ex-boyfriends was signed up on a Christian dating site and he wasn't a Christian. He just thought that Christian women were nicer (really, he was a predator, but that's a whole other story). My point is that we ought to read our words through before posting them and think of how our words present Jesus to an outsider. If our words aren't pointing to Him, then when need to re-write what we say before posting it. So, to re-cap here: 1. Have someone hold you accountable. 2. Take a break from posting when you're mad. 3. Discuss the issue, not the person. 4. Handle conflict Biblically. 5. Work towards unity v. discord. 6. Disciple v. attack. 7. Re-write your post if it doesn't point to Christ. Post Reply
View Profile History	getting along =) Posted : 2 May, 2010 04:31 AM The bible is not an opinion, nor is it an calvinist or armenian debate, the word of God is not corruptible. You may post all you want scripture is the source. Post Reply
View Profile History	getting along =) Posted : 2 May, 2010 04:34 AM Okay.......Im not gonna let that dude get to me anymore.......you win P.j. Im out of here till your gone! Post Reply
View Profile History	getting along =) Posted : 2 May, 2010 04:44 AM I don't want our personal beliefs to become the focus of this thread! This thread is for discussing how we can better get along with each other; it WILL NOT be a debate of Calvinism v. Arminianism. The bottom line here is that many of us on this forum have disagreements and that we need to learn how to handle those disagreements in a God-glorifying manner. What I would like to see here are some suggestions as to what we can say to someone we disagree with that is not insulting... and how we can respond to someone who does choose to insult and/or attack us. Does anyone have any thoughts on that? Post Reply
View Profile History	getting along =) Posted : 2 May, 2010 04:46 AM I am not bashing calvinism but agreeing with the word of God, Do you not say Calvinism is the Gospel, yes or No? Post Reply
View Profile History	getting along =) Posted : 2 May, 2010 04:54 AM PJ, I respect your opinion but we are NOT debating Calvinism on this thread. Post Reply
InHisHonor View Profile History	getting along =) Posted : 2 May, 2010 04:54 AM Pixy I think something as simply ignoring an offending poster is all that's needed. I know sometimes words can hurt our feelings but as a Christian that has been out on the streets sharing my faith I have learned to let insults roll off. Sometimes people can't help but fall into petty bickering that turns us away from God. Post Reply
View Profile History	getting along =) Posted : 2 May, 2010 04:56 AM InHisHonour, I would agree. Sometimes ignoring is a good way to handle things... Post Reply
View Profile History	getting along =) Posted : 2 May, 2010 04:58 AM And I misspelled your username! Sawwy =) Post Reply
View Profile History	getting along =) Posted : 2 May, 2010 05:01 AM thanx pixt for the post im with you. Out of the heart the mouth speaks. Instead maturely giving people points to consider or to refute the issue we turn and attack each other. Thankfully God hasnt given up on us yet! Perhaps we could show more forebearance with each other Post Reply
View Profile History	getting along =) Posted : 2 May, 2010 05:40 AM For the record I am not in a debate, and I am humbly say it could easily say by your owns words an insult to me, you said believing the word of God is an opinion. Post Reply

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