@SOS- I'm glad we're in agreement that it's wrong and has to stop =)
To be honest, I would have posted much earlier on this, BUT...
1. I'm new to this site and wanted to get more of a "feel" for people before speaking out. I think we've probably all been known to speak out in anger once or twice on a message board. I've done it! I do it in real life too! So, at first I thought that maybe people were just having a bad day or two and things would settle down. I didn't want to bring something up until it became abundately clear to me that it was a pattern of behaviour v. an occasional incident.
2. I've read a lot of these threads and have seen how many of you have treated each other. Because of that, I haven't exactly wanted to get involved. But, the more I read in this forum and the more I prayed about it, I decided it was worth it to speak up, even if I do get attacked for it. If I help prevent even one person from attacking/insulting people any further, it's worth it to me.
I am not attacking you at all my dear. I think you are fully right and your motives and reasons are fully understandable. I think you are a wonderful person and I enjoy your posts and participation. You are smart, pretty and funny.... nothing wrong with you, as far as I can see.
The only thing I cannot bear is that some - and that clearly excludes you - have a tremendous cynical and depriving way of expressing themselves.
It just brings out the worst in people.
The funny thing is, that those who are less hindered by education and as a consequence, are the most provocative, are also the first to cry, preach and threaten to denounce to the administration.
I thought it necessary to mention that.
But obviously my posts are not addressed to you personally.
Maybe we can now "debate" what should be done in order for it to stop? Let us turn this thread in something useful afterall.
:ROFL:...WOW! I leave for a week or two to take care of business, only to return to find that ALL OF YOU GUYS HAVE JUST GONE PLUMMMMM CRAAAAZZZZZZEEEE!:ROFL::ROFL:
Personally, I don't think there has nothing been said that is with malice or hate... Haven't read all the posts yet, but I think its all a healthy dicourse in jest. But then again, that's me. Guess I'm tough skinned.
Where is the old wine everybody is drinking. Pour me up a glasss or two:toomuch::ROFL::excited::Mug::dancingp::toomuch:
I really don't think PhilipJohn has taken any offense to nothing that is being said. Others may take offense to what people say to them, but can't take it when someone speaks their thoughts to them, so they leave. So be it, this forum will continue to march on with or without them.
In one breath you scream this is not a church, its a dating site, but then when it gets involved in heated fellowship?... everybody gets all sanctimoniously holy... Sounds like a grand case of HYPOCRISY to me:zzzz::zzzz::purpleangel:
@SOS- I'm giving it some thought too... Have a few ideas floating around in my head, but want to solidify them a little little more before posting them. And maybe some others will have some input over the next couple/few hours too.
I'm leaving in about an hour to go pick up my mother and go to this "girls night out" event. Will be gone for a few hours at that. But I'll be back later and am looking forward to a positive and productive discussion here! =)
friends at first when a certain person was chasing friends off this site I just said let us all just get along.I even said would Jesus want you to do this.The certain person kept slamming everybody he disagreed with. I can not help but laugh now that he is getting what he delt out. I really do think it is funny. He just wouldn't stop and the wrong person fought back.:stop:
I am tring not to be mocking here but you offend to many people someone will get you. When I first came on this site the adminnistraters did not except this as good behavior.You were thrown off the site.Where have they been? They do not care any more.If they did it would not have gone his far.
The ADM just does not care.So, it becomes chaos. Now it is ok to say, "If I disagree with you, you are a heritic and going to hell."
Somebody said that to MOG. So, he is ticked. I think what MOG wrote is the right thing to say. We can disagree to disagree but not call someone a heritic.The rules say no name calling. So, I agree just shut up if you have nothing good to say.:stop:
MOG is a ok guy.He just has a different view.A viewthat the name caller should respect.
Okay, here are my thoughts on how we can all interact better...
1. I think one of the issues with forums is that they lack accountability in that you can say things somewhat anonymously to people. You're not looking at them in the eye. You don't know what kind of day they're having. Your best friend isn't standing next to you telling you that you're being an idiot and need to back off =) For some people, such as me, that's great, because I feel I can be more open. To some extent, that's because I can kinda forget that there's a real live breathing person on the other end of the computer who's reading my words. But, that obviously has a flip side to it.
Perhaps a solution here is to have accountability partners or something of the sort. If someone really struggles with interacting with people appropriately online, then he/she could have a buddy on this site (or even someone like a roommate) who could hold him or her accountable. Maybe even something as simple as asking someone to keep on eye on what you write and send you off a message if they think you're getting out of line.
My ex-boyfriend and I are both in this one Facebook group together, and several months ago, I was discussing something on a thread and evidently not being very nice about it! So, he brought this to my attention. Initially, I was upset that he pointed this out and argued that I was correct in what I was saying. And he said he agreed with me, but that I was totally lacking in compassion and just sounding really mean. So that caused me to really take a look at how I was responding to people I disagree with and I've tried to be a little more compassionate since then. And it was good he pointed that out to me, even though it stung a little, because I wasn't really seeing that myself. Sometimes we really need a second eye looking at what we're doing and giving us a push back in the right direction when we begin to stray.
2. I think if we're angry and really emotional about something we've just read, that it's not a great time to be replying to topics on here. You know the whole take a deep breath and count to 10 thing? I think that can be just as useful online. If you're mad, back away from the computer for awhile. Do something else. Think. Pray. Then come back later to reply when you've cooled off. Or, what I've done sometimes is write out what I want to say on notepad, and then come back in a few hours to read it and "soften" it before actually posting it. A lot of times, when I come back to it, I can't believe how harsh and mean I sounded and am so glad I didn't actually post it!!!
3. Discuss the issue, not the person. That's fine to disagree with someone. In fact, we probably all disagree with almost everyone in our lives on at least one thing. Despite these differences, though, we do have to somehow figure out how to get along together and to "love our neighbours." It's not Biblical to start bashing someone because you disagree with them.
4. Handle conflict Biblically and don't seek revenge. If you're having a conflict with someone that extends beyond the topic being discussed, then send them a message privately to work it out. Don't start threads on here aimed at hurting them, and don't call them names or insult them. Interacting online v. in person does not preclude us from using the Bible as our guideline.
5. Remember that Christians follow Christ. For those of us who follow Christ, we shouldn't feel the need to take sides or to be at war with each other. We're in the same army and we believe in the same God. And the Bible places such a high priority on unity w/in the body of believers (which could be another topic here altogether).
6. Remember that we're all at different stages in our walks with God. Some of us may be brand-new Christians who haven't grown up in the church and haven't read our Bibles all the way through yet. Others may have been Christians for 20+ years and have read their Bible through several times over. If you see someone on here less spiritually mature than yourself, then seek to disciple them v. attacking them.
7. Remember that unbelievers may be reading what we're saying on here. One of my ex-boyfriends was signed up on a Christian dating site and he wasn't a Christian. He just thought that Christian women were nicer (really, he was a predator, but that's a whole other story). My point is that we ought to read our words through before posting them and think of how our words present Jesus to an outsider. If our words aren't pointing to Him, then when need to re-write what we say before posting it.
So, to re-cap here:
1. Have someone hold you accountable.
2. Take a break from posting when you're mad.
3. Discuss the issue, not the person.
4. Handle conflict Biblically.
5. Work towards unity v. discord.
6. Disciple v. attack.
7. Re-write your post if it doesn't point to Christ.
So, that's my 2 cents... or 7 cents... haha... Anyone else have more thoughts? Different thoughts?
That very thing the ADM wrote in those Big Red letters at the top of the page friends.I will have to say that people should read it before calling names and saying someone who disagrees with them is a heritic.That is not fun. Maybe the person likes to fight and should recive our prayers.
Yea, the writer of this post was venting against an attack on him.
I read it and lost it, The ADM in the past would have come on the post and say calm it down.I have seen post removed before.
I have seen a man and woman hack it out over a dating process online.Dennis
PJ why did you leave this site last fall.Were you kicked off.I did remember something.I went back in love and advice.Remember that lady who you hurt.She left because she said you lied to her.She spent a lot of money relocating.This matter was brought to the ADM's attention at that time. Dennis
