I have been trying to find the origin of what constitutes marriage in the Bible. I have searched the words marriage, marry and married but I cannot find any place that defines any kind of origin regarding marriage. I generally use the OT as my guide in establishing the original purpose of God in matters of tradition but I am not finding a precedence at all. Of course there is the Adam and Eve example of what might be considered a wedding ceremony but that aside, what else is there?
It appears to me that marriage is a matter physical union as is described in the first use of the word marry. Gen 38:8 And Judah said to Onan, Go in to your brother's wife and marry her, and raise up seed to your brother.
But there seem to be two kinds of marriage: One in which a brother marries his sister-in-law in the case of his brothers death and another in the case of a man and woman becoming husband and wife.
Case in point: Num 36:6 This is the thing which the LORD doth command concerning the daughters of Zelophehad, saying, Let them marry to whom they think best; only to the family of the tribe of their father shall they marry.
See Strongs: for Gen 8:38 marry is H2992
יבם
yâbam
yaw-bam'
A primitive root of doubtful meaning; used only as a denominative from H2993; to marry a (deceased) brother�s widow: - perform the duty of a husband�s brother, marry.
In Numbers 36:6 it is H1961
היה
hâyâh
haw-yaw'
A primitive root (compare H1933); to exist, that is, be or become, come to pass (always emphatic, and not a mere copula or auxiliary): - beacon, X altogether, be (-come, accomplished, committed, like), break, cause, come (to pass), continue, do, faint, fall, + follow, happen, X have, last, pertain, quit (one-) self, require, X use.
The first form is the feminine of H376 or H582; the second form is an irregular plural; a woman (used in the same wide sense as H582).: - [adulter]ess, each, every, female, X many, + none, one, + together, wife, woman. Often unexpressed in English.
I suppose this would literally mean "to cause a woman to become a wife"?
In either case there is no mention of what constitutes a marriage.
So is the Christian view of the of what constitutes a marriage derived from a traditional view or from actual scripture?
What makes a marriage a marriage is a great question. Maybe only God knows. It just seems that there is so much that goes into making a life together. I guess I am assuming that the question is what makes a marriage a good marriage.
Of course, to start it off there must be the commitment to one another...the covenant, which I think is a public declaration to share life together in unity. The groom consecrates himself to the bride and she accepts him. If he doesn't really consecrate himself or she doesn't really accept him, well, what then? Is it fraud? Is it a marriage?
I have heard a worship song that has a lyric something to the effect of - the highest praise is when you respond with ALL your being! I am blown away when I think about that. I believe it is very true. It seems to me that a good marriage would include offering the highest form of praise to each other and expressing the highest praise individually and jointly to God.
I love the Salt Covenant performed at weddings, a symbol of the covenant being entered into, inferring that the only way to break the covenant is to have each party retrieve their own individual grains of salt from the now mingled supply.
ahhh, to live in a perfect world! Soon and very soon!
Well...I'm of the opinion that in order for you to be "married" in God's eyes, you have to become "one flesh"...but I also think that there should be some kind of public ceremony beforehand, just so nobody's confused.
And the white dresses/wedding rings are from pagan roots....not bibilical. Nothing technically wrong with them...just saying....I don't think the original plan for marriage included that stuff. I sorta think the typical sought after wedding ceremonies nowadays are wasteful and showy from a christian point of view.
I saw your post just as I was about to sign off. So I had to grab my Bible for the scriptures along with this commentary, I hope will help.
Staring in Genesis chapter 2:verses 18-25
And the Lord God said, it is not good that man should be alone; I wil make him a "help meet/help mate for him.
Verse 20-25: And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a "HELP MEET/MATE for him.
And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept, and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, He made a woman, and brought her to Adam. And Adam said, "This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh, she will be called Woman, becaue she was taken out of Man. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave(be joined) to his wife, and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked and the man and his wife, and they were not ashamed.
Commentary:
The First Biblical Marriage of Adam & Eve: Here we see a loving Father presenting the bride to the man. God's ideal plan for marriage is one man for one woman for one life time. Marriage is so important in the mind of God that it was the first of three divine institutions and was patterened to illustrate Christ's love for the church.
The earliest creative narrative of the marriage between Adam and Eve suggests unitive purpose of marriage, "one flesh) while the second creative narrative suggests procreative (be frutiful and multiple). The New Testament mentions the unitive and analogical purpose of marriage, but not expressly the procreative.
Distinctly Christian marriage is one in which husband and wife covenant together with God and publicly witness their commitment not only to each other but together to God, to the end that they shall in unity fulfill His purposes throughout life.( I Corinthians chapter 7:verse 39; II Corinthians chapter 6: verse 14.)
Marriage is contracted in the Lord, received as a divine vocation. acknowledged with humility and thanksgiving, and sanctified by the Word of God and prayer (I Timothy chapter4: verses 4-5
Marriage is symbolic of the church. Paul comprehends marriage as obligations for the husband under the principle of love, its highest standard being the love of Christ for His church (Collossian chapter 3:verse 19; Ephesians chapter 5:verses15-33). Marriage is the sacrament of human society.
Husband and wife both share and perpetuate their happiness in having andrearing a family within the sphere of their own love. The unity of marriage is of God's own creative will, for from Him come the love and grace which enable the married couple to grow together in life. God made man and woman to displey His full image in both. Each ismade for the other, their essential natures being complementary, and brought into oneness in marriage by God.
That still doesn't answer my question. As I said, Adam and Eve aside, how was marriage established in Scripture and what constitutes a marriage? In other words, what scriptures lay out what God considers a legitimate marriage? You'll have to read everything I have said in the thread I think.
I did re-read your post, and all I can say is that the union between Adam and Eve, as I understand scripture, explains what constitutes a marriage as it is according to what God has written. When a man and a woman join themselves together in a commited relationship as a couple/as one, this is consider to be a marriage between the two. Does matter if its in friendship or a love relationship. It is a union between the two people...
In Genesis chapter 2, verse 18, God declares that, It is not good that man should be alone, I will make him a help meet/helpmate (comparable to him), which means God knew man would need a partner to help meet his needs physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually needs. Remember, God sees the ending before the beginning, so He was aware that the man needed someone to assit/aid him in his daily life.
God describes the first marriage and wedding in Genesis chapter 2, verse 24, when He "joined" Adam and Eve together and they BECAME ONE FLESH, as husband and wife. This is the first marraige and wedding CEREMONY, that God Himself officiated when He joined, put them together, in union as one with each other.
In verse 25, it states that "the man and his wife" which leads us to know from verse 22, that when God brought Eve to Adam and joined then together and married them, this was the wedding and first marriage preformed between a man and a woman, which made Adam complete as a man and prevented him from being alone/lonely.
I don't know how else to spiritually answer your question or explain the beginning of a marriage between man and woman. The marriage and wedding between Adam and Eve is the origin of a marriage and wedding, and God explains the purpose of a marriage, and reason for marriage between man and woman. And it is according to, and only by what scripture tells us God did when He united man and woman in union.
I guess I'm also trying to figure out what answer you are seeking in your question... help us out here:glow:
Here is an interesting article by William Luck on the subject. I did not write this. I am just copying a portion of the article concerning the topic being discussed. It makes a lot of very good points. Does this answer the question?
"Marriage Is Not Essentially A Sexual Union
The act of sexual intercourse never, in itself, constituted marriage. In the Bible, premarital sex, if discovered, led to a forced marriage unless the father of the woman insisted otherwise (Exod. 22:16 f.; Deut. 22:28 f.). The legal bond gave the only proper moral context for sexual union (Gen. 2:24). The woman in such cases of premarital sex was considered to have been �defiled.� At least one word (halal) used in the Old Testament to describe sexual defilement implies a controversion of God�s planned order. And the more common term (tame) implies �uncleanness,� an interruption of the wholeness or wholesomeness of life. Marriage is never typified simply by the sexual act, or even by the idea of �one flesh.�
It might be argued that a marriage is not final until sexual relations have taken place. Deuteronomy 20:7 speaks of a man who has become engaged to a woman but has not �taken� her yet. The woman is an �unclaimed blessing.� The text reveals that the covenant with her has not been consummated. But the term used (laqah) is not the most common Hebrew word for marriage, and in the Deuteronomic text it may simply be referring to consummation rather than to marriage per se. Beyond this, there are a number of other passages that understand the engaged couple to enjoy the same status before law as those persons in a fully consummated union, though they have not had sexual union.
In the New Testament, we note that, in spite of the strong marital connotations of �one flesh,� Paul is willing to apply the term to the non-marital sexual relationship between a man and a prostitute (1 Cor. 6). So it seems more correct to say that marriage is the proper content of becoming �one flesh� than to say that marriage is becoming �one flesh.� Marriage grants the right to have a �one-flesh� union. Insofar as unity is the goal of marriage people should avoid focusing upon separation themes when discussing marriage, and, when possible, problem marriages should be directed back toward that primary goal. The teaching of Jesus, that the two have become �one flesh,� would seem logically to require nothing more than this.
Sexual union entails a strong bonding between two persons. But the actual and moral degree of that bonding or influence is at least partly to be determined by the covenantal factors present or absent surrounding the particular sexual union. The absence of such factors directs the persons either to get married (as with premarital sex) or to cease and desist from further relations (extramarital or promiscuous sex, i.e., with a prostitute).
With regard to this question, it is interesting to compare three different sorts of relationships in which a �one-flesh� union occurs, and observe the differences:
RELATION: PROSTITUTE CONCUBINE WIFE
Text: 1 Cor. 6:16 Exodus 21:10 Gen. 2:24
Union: �One body� Slave contract Companion
/covenant
God�s Law: Illegal Legal Legal
Treatment: �Flee from� Treat justly Do not sunder
It would seem by consideration of this that the existence of a �one-flesh� relation does not determine the existence of marriage. It may call for it (marriage) in the case of �premarital sex,� but it is not the marriage itself. It is a �right of marriage.� The most we could say is that it is necessary, but not sufficient to make a marriage.
Marriage Is Not a Mysterious Relationship
There seems to be no scriptural evidence for saying that marriage is a mysterious union. On occasion some will cite Ephesians 5:32, but this �support� really rests upon a mistaken idea that the Greek word translated �mystery� means �beyond human knowledge.� That may be the most common element of an English definition of the word, but the Greek definition entails �information knowable only by revelation from God.� Understood in its proper light, the antecedent of �this mystery is great� is not the husband/wife relationship, which union has been revealed from the days of the Garden of Eden, but the relation of Christ to the Church. The text itself makes this clear when it immediately adds, �but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the Church� (v. 32), and adds further discontinuity by returning to the husband-wife discussion (v. 33) with �Nevertheless, let each individual among you also love his own wife � � Another verse that is suggested to express a mystical element in marriage is Malachi 2:14. Steele mentions that the wife (then divorced) is called a �companion.� About this word he quotes Brown, Driver, and Briggs as suggesting the meaning of the root is �to unite, tie a magic knot.� But I know of no scholar who would argue for magic knots as the meaning of the inspired text. God does not use magic. The knots He ties have already been shown to be like a yoke. It is safer to define the term without mentioning such heathen uses. The resulting definition simply speaks of a companion as one who is closely woven together with the partner in a common enterprise, joined by contract and mutual commitment. It functions in the literature in a similar manner to the word cleave that we have dealt with. There really is no textual support for the idea that Biblical marriage is either mystical or magical.
It might be argued that sexual union entails some mystical element. Since the sexual act is not itself a melding of the two persons back into one person, what is the meaning of �one flesh�? Perhaps there is some element of mystery in what appears to be a simple conjunction of bodies. But even were this true, it misses the point. For we have seen already that marriage is not essentially a sexual or �one-flesh� union anyway. Therefore, it is a non sequitur to show that the �one-flesh� relationship has a mysterious element.
Marriage is Not a Union of Souls or Spirits
The initial problem with discussion of spiritual union is definitional. What exactly does it mean? Are we talking about association, to whatever degree of intimacy, or about some more ontological union (union of being)? Often people who refer to marriage as a spiritual union or a union of souls begin talking this way when they attempt to describe the completeness of the marriage union. Steele and Ryrie (quoting Ross) conclude their discussion of marriage �intimacy� by saying: �To become one flesh means becoming a spiritual, moral, intellectual, and physical unity.� Obviously this does not mean mixing brain cells or sharing a common nervous system, so what does it mean? Perhaps it means nothing more than that the intimacy of marriage involves the couple �seeing things the same way.� They share a common moral standard, think alike, have sexual union. But, still, please, what does common �spirit� mean? Could that be a way of referring to a similar disposition? I believe this puts the best face on the matter. But note that all such elements of intimacy only occur if the couple makes the effort to integrate their individual concerns. An estranged couple clearly does not share any of these things. Thus, it would be more proper to say that marriage only involves such intimacy, but not that this is what it means to be married.
If, on the other hand, it be argued that some more ontological union of spirits or souls is intended, then several other problems present themselves for our consideration. The first of these concerns is the point of origin of this sort of union and, indeed, the way in which the union is achieved. If union is said to begin when the vows are said, then I rejoin, �How does the speaking of vows achieve an ontic bonding of spirits?� If it is said to take place in the sex act, one may ask, �How does mere physical union achieves spiritual bonding?� When and how does this bonding occur?
A second reason for doubting that marriage involves a unity of spirits is that such a unity would seem to go beyond the grave. Thus, someone who had more than one marriage partner would have confusing spiritual relationships eternally. This is the very matter dealt with in the confrontation between Jesus and the Sadducees in Mark 12:18-27 (Matt. 22:23-33/Luke 20:27-40). The Sadducees� argument turns on two points: the marriage union remains after death (therefore being a union of the souls of the resurrected) and there is a resurrection of the married persons. The Sadducees slyly knew that if both these propositions were affirmed at the same time, there would be ideological confusion.
Jesus affirms the second proposition but denies the first. Marriages, he says, do not go beyond the grave. �They are neither marrying [i.e., in a marriage state] nor are being given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.� Note that these words do not mean simply that no new marriages will be contracted, but that the marriage state as such does not exist in heaven. In other words, marriage is designed for this world. It is temporal. But how can this be so if marriage entails a union of being/spirits?
The third problem with an ontic (related to being) union of spirits involves intermarriage. In our study of the use of cleave and one-flesh in 1 Corinthians 6 we noted that marriage unions have spiritual ramifications. Choosing a partner of another faith, against the wishes of God, reveals much about one�s spiritual state and will undoubtedly effect further negative changes in one�s spiritual life. But to say that marriage has these spiritual ramifications is not to say that marriage effects a union of spirits or souls. Insofar as at least one kind of interfaith marriage (i.e., that caused by the conversion of one of the previously bonded partners) was permitted by the Apostle Paul, we may safely conclude that marriage does not entail spiritual union.
Finally, we note again that Scripture stresses the intimacy of the union in marriage, especially the physical union. The text says that in sexual union the man �knows� his wife. This implies a deeply intimate awareness of how it is with her. Without lessening the biblical understanding of that intimacy, I wish clearly to state that this intimacy is in the marriage�not that this intimacy is essential to the marriage. It is those who leave and cleave who have the right to become �one flesh.�
Marriage is Not a Permanent or Indissoluble Union
Though God intended marriage to last until the death of one of the partners, the entrance of sin into the world at the beginning of time changed that. Jesus taught that God oversees the marriage and functions as the Witness to the speaking of the vows. In Matthew 19, Jesus said, �Those whom God has joined together.� Some have seen in this reference to God�s action an implication that marriage is permanent. But using a paired term, Jesus adds, �Let no man separate.� Thus it is clear that while marriages should be permanent in the sense of lasting till one of the partners dies, the facts of a fallen world is that sin can sunder the relationship. As presented in this book, that sin might have occurred while the marriage was legally active, or it could have occurred in the act of an unjust divorce. Jesus� own comment on the end of marriage is also seen in His comment that a marriage may be ended if porneia has taken place (Matthew 5 and 19). In the older testament, the ending of the union is spoken of in Deuteronomy 24:1-4, where a marriage is clearly ended by an unjust divorce followed by a remarriage by the innocent party.
Marriage is Social Covenant Insured by God
Marriage is presented in Scripture as a reuniting of the divided image of God (Gen. 2). The �parts� are �male� and �female�. Together they form a social unit which has the right to become physically united (�one flesh�). They are yoked together as a team, and the original plan of God for marriage was for the two to serve Him as such. Not only is it presented as such in Genesis 2, where God gave Adam Eve because it was not good for him to be alone, working the Garden for Him, but also in 1 Corinthians 7, where Paul suggests marriage over singleness only when it is necessary so that the partners can serve God better by such union. The Bible presents marriage as a covenant involving the fulfillment of basic needs. The man is pictured as needing companionship, while the woman is seen as needing provision of daily needs. This is to be understood by considering the requirements placed upon each by the text of the Law of Moses (Gen. 2 & Ex. 21). The fact that God oversees the union is clear by Jesus� words, �Them that God has joined together � � Paul speaks of marriage as a kind of slavery or bondage. Each partner has ownership rights over the other � rights related to the responsibility of each to keep the vows spoken to the other at the time of commitment.
Yeah..I agree marriage is not just "sex", but I don't think you can say "we're married" unless you become "one flesh". I think it is the...pledge...or the covenant. Because the only lawful reason for a "divorce" is not "disagreeing views" or "money problems". You can chose not to live with the person anymore and be separated for those reasons...but I think that since adultery is the only real endpoint for a marriage in God's eyes, then it makes sense that becoming "one flesh" with another person breaks the sacredness of what started the marriage...which would be becoming "one flesh that God joined together".
