Author	Thread: husbands fault...
Admin	husbands fault... Posted : 1 Dec, 2009 10:05 AM dear folks, im just wonderin since man , the husband is sposed to be head of his household then should every divorce be concidered his fault? what are your thoughts? ole cattle Post Reply
View Profile History	husbands fault... Posted : 2 Dec, 2009 08:01 PM dear fury. nicely put man.. ya know ive also wondered well . what if the wife didnt follow her biblical guidelines too. its alot to think about but you really laid that out there nicely ... ole cattle Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	husbands fault... Posted : 3 Dec, 2009 11:55 AM Yep, the perfect example of a marriage. Christs relationship with the church. How many times should you forgive your spouse for cheating on you before divorcing them? How many times does Christ forgive you? Just wondering....when do you give up on someone? :peace::peace: Post Reply
View Profile History	husbands fault... Posted : 3 Dec, 2009 07:29 PM I do not believe husbands are head of the house. A woman makes the house a home. The man is lucky to have his own space in the garage. The wife identifies with her home, how it looks is a reflection on her. A man identifies with his job. Jesus was a carpenter not a homemaker in Nazareth. It sounds nice to say the husband is king of his castle. But the bible does not say he is head of the house. It says man is head (source) of the woman meaning woman came out of man. The Christ and Church analogy is good but has it's limits. Is the wife saved through the husband? Is the husband another additional WAY of salvation? Husbands do not exhibit sinless perfection. Even though some husbands DO think they are perfect. And some wives expect nothing less than perfection. A husband is not Christ but he can be Christ like. Eph 5 says husbands should love and lay down their life. But taken in context Eph. 5:2 says we, as believers, should lay our lives down for each other. It is called a love offering a "sweet aroma" to the Lord. Believers are called to love one another in this self sacrificing manner. How many wives believe they are to love their husbands as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it? Man was placed in a garden paradise. Jesus said today you will be with me in paradise. No man can do that no matter how much the woman believes it. Having said that, is it the man's fault? Of course it is. :party: Post Reply
GraceMae View Profile History	husbands fault... Posted : 4 Dec, 2009 06:59 PM Thanks Tarsye. I agree with you as you wrote -- I don't see where if both are behaving according to the Word where there should be an issue, for the Lord tells men to love their wives as Christ loves the Church, and women are to submit to their husbands. If a man loves his wife as Christ loves the Church, then there would be no lying or cheating or hitting. If women submit to their husbands, then they would not be submitting to anyone that is not their husband. She would submit and not lie, or cheat or rise up against him. If they love each other more than they love themselves, they could not do the things that lead to divorce, but each needs to do their part for the two to be as one, which takes what it says about love in Corinthians "Love is patient, Love is Kind.. well all know the rest of the verse, for it is said at every wedding practically, but apparently not practiced in nearly as many marriages, or there would not be so many divorces.-- Well put and true! For two believers, divorce is never an option. If there is infidelity, divorce is not an option. The fault lies on both as believers. It's a hard thing to remove yourself, your needs, your desires, and love "unconditionally", and with out reciprocal expectation from the other person, that is same in giving, pleasing, doing for one another. Most often times, it's the expectations that get us into trouble so the decision is made to go our own way. We women sometimes go into marraige not clearly understanding just what "submission" means. We start out dating, making our own income, owning our own homes, building our careers to success in the corporate world, but don't really buy into the"submissive" roles. So what choice does a man have but to battle heads with his mate. Sure he beleives he's to be head of his household, but they've not really discussed this part or been counciled prior to marraige on exactly what this means, or what the expectations will be. Oh, love looks so wonderful at first in dating, and initially. But when the problems come, and circumstances dictate to the flesh "oh no, I'm not putting up with this or that", then comes the incorrect response. Then something else happens, then another incorrect response, then everything balloons out of control. Thus the flesh acts, not the Holy Spirit. The "two shall become one" seems like it never was! Didn''t take much did it-- under pressure, AND the "word of God" that you started out with is just dispelled. We create exceptions to discount Gods' word. I'm on the women here, because some of my friends making it well on there own, do not buy into the submission roles as potential wives, and they are Christians, who say they stand on God's word, but to a degree. That's the problem I feel. Multiple problems actually. More men need to take the lead as leaders in the church. Too many women trying to lead things. So naturally, women get the power in the world, and it's hard for them to receive the word of God, and try to take thier roles in the world, and make them equal in the marraige. That cannot be. The marraige never works. And, I don't blame women, nor men actually, but it takes two. It takes two believers willing to walk it out. Just as we are given the task to walk out our salvation with fear and trembling, the same with the marraige, but with joy and expectation. Well, that's just some of my input. * GraceMae Post Reply
View Profile History	husbands fault... Posted : 4 Dec, 2009 07:11 PM dear folks, the good LORD gave men alot of responsibility.. and sometimes we fail.. ole cattle Post Reply
View Profile History	husbands fault... Posted : 5 Dec, 2009 10:35 PM I don't believe that it's AUTOMATICALLY the husband's fault. Too often, I believe Christians tend to believe that, but truthfully, I don't think you can make that case for a few reasons. As an example, lets say wife cheats on husband: 1. Did the husband order her to sleep with someone else (99% of the time, I doubt it.) 2. Did the husband withhold sex? 3. Did the husband withhold emotional affection? 4. Did he spiritually nourish her and look out for the warning signs? Sometimes, a husband or a boyfriend can do everything in his power to prevent the sin entering the relationship and it will still happen. Post Reply
View Profile History	husbands fault... Posted : 6 Dec, 2009 07:58 AM dear dark, welcome to the forums.. and you make good points.. although 3 and 4 could be possibilities i think.. ole cattle Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	husbands fault... Posted : 6 Dec, 2009 09:22 AM Yeah...and I have to say...men are pretty krappy sometimes. And while I wouldn't put the blame for everything completely on men, some of us do not treat our wives very well. "Slaves" comes to mind. Some guys would rather sit on a toilet for hours than spend time with their wives...something is wrong there. But I'd like to take a moment and spread the blame back a little farther...lets blame parents for not being there/raising their children correctly. Lets blame a world society that went a little too far past the "equality mark" in bringing women's rights to fruition. Lets blame men that leave their wives/girlfriends/people they barely even know to raise their children all by themselves without a male role-model(actually that might have been good...some guys shouldn't be role-models:goofball:). Lets blame women that actually go for that kind of guy(wth?). Anyway...the point is...the blame can be spread around pretty evenly. I would also just like to point out when I believe this all started blasting downhill. You look at the numbers and it can pretty much be pinpointed to when they started teaching evolution in school. "There's no God? Live it up! Life is pointless! Tomorrow we die!" Ever since then...children have been the targets. "Get'em early. Before their parents have a chance to brainwash them with pointless morals". Anyway...makes me sick....talk about off-topic:laugh:. Sorry... :peace::peace: Post Reply
View Profile History	husbands fault... Posted : 6 Dec, 2009 01:34 PM Blaming the man is the easy way out. There are two people in a marriage and both have responsibilities....... and choices. I can understand how you would feel responsible, since the Bible does require men to be the leaders. I think if a man takes responsibility for his part of the breakup that is the most important thing. How much or how little blame, or going down the "if only....." trail are counter-productive. And, carried too far, can prevent someone from growing and moving forward. Just sayin'. Each person has to take responsibility for their own choices, actions, and words. Post Reply

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