i've been struggling with this for two years, and i'm running out of options. no one takes me seriously about this, not even my own parents. but the fact is...i'm BI. people at my church don't even know, and i'm afraid to tell them because i was up front about this at my last church, trying to get help and they shut the door in my face. it started in Juinor year of high school. ask if you want to know how it came to me, but i don't want to make this very long. all i know is i cry out every night because i can't find help. I know God still loves me, but does he view me partially as a failure? ugh, so many questions i have and i'm filled with confusement. does anyone have any advice to offer me? or do y'all automatically hate me now like most do? :(
Starting with the Beatitudes reference, Jesus tell us clearly: but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart (Matthew 5:28)
Many people have the ability to admire people of the same sex without having attraction, but when that admiration is mixed with desire, it's sin.
As for the judging comment, many false converts are under the mistaken impression that God alone is allowed to judge them. This is based on twisting several different passages together to mean something the Bible never said. However, we have from Jesus in Matthew 18 how we are to carry out Church discipline.
As ambassadors for Christ, we're emissaries of His reconciliation to the lost and the disobedient. In other words, when your brother sins, take the plank out of your own eye but don't fail to help him remove his speck (Matthew 7:3-5).
Failing to reconcile the disobedient, Jesus tell us to cast such a one out of Church. In 1 Corinthians 5:3, Paul says, "For I, on my part, though absent in body but present in spirit, have already judged him who has so committed this, as though I were present." He goes in verse 5 and says, "I have decided to deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of his flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus."
So, when someone tells you Christians aren't allowed to judge, be warned you're speaking to someone who has no spiritual authority. Be diligent to be found approved in Christ Jesus.
And again, God's words to Cain before he killed Able: If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it. (Genesis 4:7)
For this reason, Paul tells Timothy, "reprove, rebuke, exhort, with great patience and instruction. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires"
Hopefully, I can clarify my initial comments in my reply.
Pertaining to the Beatitudes, I�m guessing (although I don�t like to assume things) that you are referencing �Blessed are the pure of heart, for they shall see God.� (?) I understand how having impure thoughts about members of the same sex would be a sin. However, when I mentioned �feeling� attracted towards the same sex, I did not mean that the person acts on that feeling. A person can feel angry and choose to fight the anger or let it fuel a sin (whether that sin is a thought or an action). I do not think the anger in and of itself is a sin. Similarly, I was considering the possibility that a person can feel attracted towards the same sex and stop that feeling from becoming a sin. I do not know if this is correct or not; it is merely a thought.
I also do not see �feeling� and �desiring� as the same thing. I think that to �desire� something, one has to feed his/her initial feeling towards it, if that make sense.
As for my �judgment� comment, I simply meant that if someone did nothing more than tell me (s)he was attracted towards the same sex, I would not close myself off to, condemn, or hate him/her forever. It is impossible for people to go through life without making decisions about each other; and if a Christian believes that someone is doing something sinful, (s)he is obliged to correct the person (if I remember correctly), if possible. If a person refuses to turn from sin, it makes sense to separate oneself from that person; being with him/her is like walking into a building that one knows is on fire. However, I believe the ultimate judgment is God�s to give.
1) i have read all the responses to date and agree with many of them...a few i dont agree with entirely, but dont have the time at the moment to get into them all individually....so im going to leave that alone.
2) feeling something is not a sin. the bible makes it clear that temptation is not sin...acting on that temptation IS however sin....feelings of attraction are not sinful in and of themselves. **TO THOSE WHO WOULD MISCONSTRUE WHAT I AM SAYING PLEASE, PLEASE UNDERSTAND I AM NOT CONDONING HOMOSEXUALITY IN SAYING THAT** the sin comes when we stop surrendering those feelings to god and start feeding them, fantasizing about/in/through them, acting on them etc...
3) my advice to you is this...dont focus on your feelings...focus instead on god. read his word, worship him...spend time with him. the more you draw close to god, the more you will find your desires being transformed into his desires for you. the word says that it is the goodness of god that leads men to repentence...focus on his goodness and love for you and the more you do that, the more you will be filled with him...his grace, goodness and glory and since god is light and god is good and god is by definition the "opposite" (for lack of a better word) of sin, the less you will be bothered by these feelings and thoughts...the more we focus on god the less susceptable we are to the games and attacks of the enemy.
i wish you all the best and will be praying for you!
