CHEMISTRY... what is it?... and... is it important?
Posted : 1 Oct, 2009 09:57 AM
Hi...I wanted to open a new thread this morning about a subject that is regarded among some in Christendom to be a sign of carnality... and that's the word "Chemistry".
I've come across this word in several ladies' profiles as a sort of a "don't waste my time".... if "chemistry" is not there. I've been on this site for about a year now and talked with hundreds of ladies and have come to this conclusion: That "chemistry" is indeed important in a relationship...that spark...that WOW...that magic( oops...did I say that word ).
What is it?...It seems to me firstly that it is a physical attraction to that person. When Jacob saw Rachel and Leah standing before him...why did he fall head over heels for Rachel and not Leah? Why was he so willing to work for Laban 7 years and another 7 years to be officially married to Rachel? And what was so special about Sarah that Abraham was drawn to? Even Isaac was blessed with a beautiful wife. Obviously God did not think it was carnal or sinful to find someone attractive if He would allow Abraham, Jacob, and Isaac to be blessed with beautiful wives.
In regards to searching for my wife... I admit...that if I am not attracted to a lady physically I really do not have a desire to go further, regardless of other great qualities she may possess. Am I carnal?
Someone will quote to me 1Samuel 16:7 as evidence of my carnality that God looks at the heart and man looks on the outward appearance. BUT WAIT!.... God was simply pointing out a truth, not a condemnation. I'm not God...I'm a man. God put two eyes in my head to be attracted to beauty. No one thinks it's wrong to find flowers beautiful, or a mountain, or the stars. Why is it wrong therefore to be attracted to someone's outward beauty? Why is it thought in Christendom that when looking for a mate one must only look on the heart and disregard the outward?
However, as my son pointed out ...chemistry between people is a MUTUAL attraction... I agree... It's not really chemistry if your attraction towards someone is all one sided. I have found many ladies attractive on this site who simply did not find me attractive...no chemistry. And there are ladies who find me attractive...but I do not feel the same way towards them...no chemistry.
Yet... I must confess that I have discovered that chemistry GOES DEEPER than the outward appearance. On two separate experiences where there was mutual physical attraction between us...there was still something missing... we were not connecting on all cylinders. So we decided to mutually agree to part company. If the chemistry is not there... why try to force it?
So...my intellectual friends... let's hear your insight on Chemistry 101...What is it ? And is it important?
CHEMISTRY... what is it?... and... is it important?
Posted : 7 Oct, 2009 02:42 PM
chemistry is not necessarily only chemistry if it's mutual - sometimes one can overlook, not look twice, or even spend several times with someone who possibly is a little more one-sided but gradually their one-sidedness becomes infectious and an attraction all of a sudden blossoms and then becomes mutual.
incidentally, what is christendom? is it like saying a pride of lions . . . a christendom of christians?
CHEMISTRY... what is it?... and... is it important?
Posted : 12 Oct, 2009 10:49 PM
I think Chemistry means different things to each person. Each one of us find different aspects of another attractive or interesting....
many of the posts have very valid comments and ideas.
It is just my opinion, but i believe what is taken exception to is when it is used to mean strictly physical attraction. The truth is that if it is primarily an outward, physical attraction, one should be cautious, not to mention the fact that none of us escape the aging process with our outer shells intact and beautiful. lol
There is also the old adage of "beauty is in the eye of the beholder"
again what I find attractive, another may not.
I would not be so quick to discount how God views us ( from the inside , out) as stated in other posts, i have known some physically beautiful people who are down right UGLY. and have known some "plain" people who are beautiful because of their heart, words and deeds.
In many other cultures,and in days gone by, there are/were arranged marriages where there is no chemistry initially, but as the two created a life and home together, they grew to love, appreciate and respect one another and mostly have/had strong relationships and commitments to one another, something regardless of chemistry, or not, is certainly lacking in our modern day western culture.
just speaking for myself, I would much rather have a mate that has a Godly heart and focus, that sees my value and worth through God's eyes and I him... chemistry is just an added bonus.
I am sure it is more difficult for guys to see that way since they are wired more visually ( not a put down guys)
But if there are not any guys out there that can see beyond the surface.... then i am tough out of luck!!!!! lol
CHEMISTRY... what is it?... and... is it important?
Posted : 18 Nov, 2009 08:15 PM
Chemistry is important. The bees are attracted to the flowers by either colour or smell. They only find out if it was worth it when they go deeper to discover if there is any nector. Chemistry is the human version of this same thing. Otherwise why didn't God make us all look exactly the same? He has a purpose in everything..we just have to look more closely.
CHEMISTRY... what is it?... and... is it important?
Posted : 15 Jan, 2010 07:54 PM
Hi Paul,
I am enjoying reading through your profile and posts.
You make me smile, I find you quite interesting and am attracted to your love of the Lord, you are not ashamed or compromising of what Jesus tells us in his word..............I like that!
As far as Chemistry.........I believe there has to be some physical chemistry. Not that we are looking for outward beauty only, but that there has to first be an attraction. Someone does not have to be beautiful, but if we have God's beauty inside our spirit, I believe it will show on the outside. I agree with you, there has to be an initial attraction, after that the chemistry has to be in the spirit. I believe the spiritual attraction is most important, I believe there has to be a God connection. I once read and so much agree with "A women's heart has to be so hidden in God that a man has to find HIM first to find her.
Anyhow, this is my first day on this site and I am enjoying your wisdom, charm and chuckles.
CHEMISTRY... what is it?... and... is it important?
Posted : 20 Jan, 2010 11:09 AM
I have been waiting for God to give me the words to say on thiis subject " CHEMISTRY" what is it?
( The Songs of Solomon )
Our desire, our image of someone. Maybe we have prayed and asked God to send that one, the one and only for us and I'm sure that you have told God how you want that person to look.
Chemistry is important but sometimes our image of what we are looking for in a person stops it. Why do I say that well because if the Chemistry isn't there when we look at our pictures we don't look deeper, even when we talk a while we block it because we all have this Image of what we are looking for. CHEMISTRY
We are all looking for True Love, some of us have already had it once. The Chemistry that God has for us is unconditional LOVE.
If God sends someone to you and you miss it becauce the image of the person isn't quit what you asked for and Chemistry you thought would be there isn't. Maybe you didn't dig deep enough. Jesus' LOVE to all. God Bless you in your search.
CHEMISTRY... what is it?... and... is it important?
Posted : 16 Apr, 2010 11:27 AM
Hey There,
I know this post is old, but I felt like I HAD to respond. Now admittedly I have not read through all the replies, so I hope not to be regurgitating something already said.
Firstly, the ideal:
You said that you are only a man and not God, but without any condemnation, I wish to elevate you. The day we accepted Christ, we became more than mere men (and women), we are now sons and daughters of the living God. I say this because we now have a duty to move beyond what we once were. I think sometimes as believers we wanna accept salvation and then stay where we are or maybe we wanna be better, but without the effort. I mean, I am by no means perfect nor will I be until Christ returns, however I should be continually striving to be more and more Christ-like.
We have to take the Word of God for what it is, before the fall is the description of the world the way God intended it to be. After the fall is a prescription for our sin. Everything up to the point of the crucifixion is �here�s what you need to do because you are sinners�. Once Jesus dies for our sins and raises to give us new life, we have just that....new life. Acts and beyond is now �you used to be sinners, but now through the blood and the Spirit you can overcome�
No, we aren�t made perfect, be we are to begin to live out our destiny today. Yes, we are saved by grace, but that grace leads us to do the good we ought to and no one is ever finished, no one will be completely transformed into his kingly state until Jesus returns, but we can try....we should try.
The Reality:
I need to add to this a descriptive of love, chemistry, I think is a worldly invention. I think physical attraction is great, but think about this, Satan was the most beautiful angel in Heaven. The world portrays him as an ugly little devil, but that�s what he would like us to believe. Satan is beautiful and all the things we aspire to, the things we desire most...let�s just say I�d take a second look. The bible tells us Jesus was nothing to look at, we paint a lovely portrait, but again, lies, Jesus wasn�t pretty, but his heart shone through.
�Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart�...When he is first and foremost, his desire becomes our desire. This I stress because I think true, pure love has no boundaries or restrictions on it. Someone once said, �finding love is not a needle in a haystack, there are millions of good people you can choose from, but then you have to make the choice and commitment to love� Not an easy task, just read 1 Corinthians 13 and insert your name in all the places it says love, than you�ll see how hard it is.
The world and our flesh combat the holiness we are called to, but we possess the power to win this battle. We do, however, have to choose to fight. I pray that you all find what you�re searching for, but I urge you to love more than to desire to be loved and I urge you to love because Christ first loved us and not just to receive fulfillment because truth...the hole each of us has in our hearts is God shaped. Be blessed.
Shameless plug, if you're ever in need of some words of encouragement please check out my blog : http://godsfirst.wordpress.com/
CHEMISTRY... what is it?... and... is it important?
Posted : 23 Sep, 2010 06:26 PM
Chemistry-definite attraction is a must. But deep chemistry happens when you know your partner is there, without seeing them, looking into his eyes and seeing his hearts desires, knowing how to be there when he needs a shoulder, an ear, a kiss, silence. Chemistry is there when your heart, soul and body comes alive thinking about him while he is gone. Chemistry between two people doesn't always have to be spoken, one look, one touch..one whisper...feeling their heartbeat within every beat of your heart....chemistry is knowing without a shadow of a doubt, he will always be there...chemistry is sitting around a fire, listening together to the beauty of the silence...feeling the moment. Chemistry is waiting anxiously, waiting for him to wake up, to lay in his arms, feel his breath...Chemistry is knowing you will love him to the end....
