In this day there are so many various types of denominations. Many of which claim to be Christian but don't even practice what real Christians do. They claim to keep the 10 commandments but they really don't since they ignore the 4th commandment all together and keep Sunday instead.
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I'm not trying to raise a doctrinal debate here. But it's important to court someone who believes close to what you do on the major issues.
:angel:
Many pastors will also tell you to court someone who's major beliefs match yours. Because if you don't someone will need to compromise something they really don't want to. And that puts God second in your life if you change something for your mate. And God, being a jealous God is not pleased.
:angel:
If, however you meet someone who's beliefs differ and after some study in the Word they come to realize that what you are telling them is truth and they accept it, then you may have a workable courtship. Yet if the differences are too vast you will spend far too much time trying to win that person that it will put a strain on the relationship.
:angel:
When you meet someone, before getting serious with them make sure you agree on the big stuff. For example, to keep Sabbath or not to keep Sabbath, Holidays, Salvation, etc. And don't get nit picky about the little stuff, the gray areas that stir up strife. Remember, we are called to peace.
:angel:
I hope this helps someone along the way to a healthier relationship.
As a brother, I'm going to seriously challange you here. First off, Ill be honest, wheres the Love and Christ in this post? I see no scripture, no testimate to anything biblical, in fact Id say you tread on the boarder of herasy.
First off, so you know, the "10 commandments" is a post-crusifixtion term. They are properly called the "Ten Utterances" in the literal Hebrew translation. In them we are called to honor the day of rest. Now, before the advent of the Greeko-Roman calader there was no standard day. They cycled per every 7 periods according to their own calander. The advent of the standardized calander just allowed for a specific day to be picked. BUT THATS NOT IMPORANT. What is important is that God called us to rest IN HIM especially during one day a week. The resting in Him is whats important and not the actual day.
From here you make several statements that make me question how much you actually know about faith, biblical teaching, and truth.
-You suggest we find someone who shares the same "major issues". If your called by the Holy Spirit into a marriage Id sure hope they share the same faith... otherwise the relationship is not blessed by God in the first place.
-You state that if you dont share the same major backing that you will be forced to "compromise" thus putting God second in your life. The truth is there is only ONE TRUTH. If your not walking in the Truth then Gods already second in your life. To suggest otherwise is to admit to dualism and thus to not obey "Commandment" #1.
-You suggest then that vast difference will force you to "win" someone over. Over to what? To Christ? To the truth? If they don't alreay have either then shame on you for disobeying the Lord's desire for you not to be evenly yoked. Second, read all the great relationships in the bible... the truth is that the two people are polar opposites. They have to be! God's design for marriage is that we COMPLETE each other meaning one fills in for the others defficency. Thats why woman has to submit to man, to be his gentler nature and thats why man has to be the spiritual leader and treat his wife like the church. Men and woman as well as individuals are granted different gifts so that we can bring harmony in our unison. Difference is better.
-"When you meet someone, before getting serious with them make sure you agree on the big stuff. For example, to keep Sabbath or not to keep Sabbath, Holidays, Salvation, etc. And don't get nit picky about the little stuff, the gray areas that stir up strife. Remember, we are called to peace."
If your not serious from the get go because the Spirit moves you to that, your already sinning. Second, if your partner doesnt want to keep the Sabbath, they arnt trusting and obeying God and thus arn't walking in faith. Again, that puts you in an unevenly yoked relationship - thus your disobeying Gods commandment for us.
Finally, your right were called to peace but were also called to rebuke and to edify each other. Becareful where you tred, brother, your steps are bordering bad territory.
I am a divorced woman who has been married to a non Christian and a Christian...
Not being able to discuss God at all in one marriage was so against the way I was raised. Since my youth included regular church services and a Christian college, not having a spouse who was interested in discussions about God, the Bible or anything related to Christianity was difficult. Yet, he had agreed to marry in the church.
Beyond being Christian or being in the church, there are many things that should be discussed before marriage! Alcohol and drug consumption, is monogamy expected and will it be practiced, how often to see family on both sides, what obligations there are to family, whether the job schedule is one that can be accepted, will spouses be at home at the same time to do things together, and if so, what would they like to do together? Will the wife be expected to work or stay at home and raise the children? How should money be shared and who pays the bills? Will property be owned together or separately? How often will the spouse be attending church? What community service is planned? Are they compatible in how the house, cars, and dress are to be neat and clean? Who does the household chores? How is health care to be provided? ARE THEY COMPATIBLE?
They can discuss what life may be on a day-to-day basis.
From my own experience, its just like watching a relationship involving an addict and someone just a year clean/sober.
A Christian who is hearnestly seeking God through Christ will eventually be brought down by someone who isnt doing the same. The Bible states "the darkness and the light will always be in constant conflict, because the darkness will never understand the light ".
I can remember driving my younger half-sister to her church for a little while, and she invited me to come inside.
I think it was a church of christ, I can't be sure. And if it was a church of christ, I can't be sure whether they were the "missionaries" or the "singers".
Anyway, I was greeted inside by one guy who refused to shake my hand and another guy who shot me a dirty look.
Then I was taken into the youth group where various people sat in a circle with nothing but air in the center. The discussion was "Should Christians date non-christians".
I took a look around and noticed that even young unmarried teenagers were holding hands in the church. The thought of it disturbed me. What if things do not work out so well, and what was once an arrogant display of loving ability turns into the site of two lame people incapable of loving. I mean, they are not married. They have not had their union blessed. They are just acting arrogantly. What is to keep them together?
My response to the topic was "Sure, christians can date non-christians if communication between the two work well enough."
But reflecting back, I have changed my mind.
I wouldn't want such people who treat others with undignity, and promote the tempor-ality of arrogant behavour, to be screwing up my wife's head.
Nor am I going to bend my knee for some baptist spilling out babbling, selfish, and damaging prayers.
Yet, I have reconciled that the only way I could find a wife would be to go out and sack some pagan dwelling place and drag back a woman who I think can handle marriage, with me. I still think that way. Heh.
I never realized just how important faith was to me until I get married the second time. I was newly sober and made the mistake of marrying the first man I dated after I had quit drinking.
I carried resentments for a long time, however the experience did help me to define boundaries, and gave me a much clearer idea of what was acceptable to me in a relationship.
The man I married said he would go to church with me on Sundays. It wasn't until a few years into the marriage that I realized he said that he would attend with me just to avoid an argument or confrontation.
I thought I could live with it, but, as stated, being expected to compromise on something that had become so dear to me became a real bone of contention in our relationship.
Not married to that guy any more. Don't regret it either. Just disappointed that it didn't turn out...
I never realized just how important faith was to me until I get married the second time. I was newly sober and made the mistake of marrying the first man I dated after I had quit drinking.
I carried resentments for a long time, however the experience did help me to define boundaries, and gave me a much clearer idea of what was acceptable to me in a relationship.
The man I married said he would go to church with me on Sundays. It wasn't until a few years into the marriage that I realized he said that he would attend with me just to avoid an argument or confrontation.
I thought I could live with it, but, as stated, being expected to compromise on something that had become so dear to me became a real bone of contention in our relationship.
Not married to that guy any more. Don't regret it either. Just disappointed that it didn't turn out...
