Being married to an unbeliever for 13yrs was extremely difficult. We did not have the very core in common and sometimes it was like living with the enemy..!!
Light cannot fellowshio with darkness,,,and the light will show up the darkness....I can see Pauls wisdom in advising it not to happen..It feels like you are pulling in different directions because of the differing concience and basic ritcheousness aspects....
Im sooo grateful that God forgives us for our mistakes....and we can yet live to fight another day...
I hope someone out there may find this helpful....
and I pray that if you are looking to be married,......You will be blessed with a beautiful partner.
Thanks to you both for initiating an interesting discussion. To make this a little bit vibrant/robust, I wish to introduce an opposing view point to both of your concurring opinions.
Apostle Paul did not use being "yoked together" with unbelievers in the context of marraige at all. Some later "intelligent" preachers applied this scripture in any context that served their purposes.
In fact, the context was Paul saying "if any man be named a 'brother' and lives hypocritically", with such a person not even to eat or fellowship. His argument was not about so-called unbelievers out there in the world (as in non-churched felas). That is called exegesis - when we allow the Bible to speak for itself instead of twisting it to say what we want.
Having said that, being married to someone who has a different spiritual philosophy from us is not strange to the Bible and God prescribes how we should conduct ourselves in such cases: 1. Apostle Paul argues in 1 Corinthians that if the unbeliever choses to divorce on spiritual grounds, then the believer should remarry,else, he suggests the believer convert the unbeliever through pragmatic spirituality as opposed to argumentative, self-righteous approach - like banging the spouse on the head with the Bible every time.
2. Apostle Peter concurs, arguing that the believing spouse should display a chaste life to the unbelieving such that a compelling reason will be obvious to the spouse to believe if possible.
Example: When I pastored here in Spring, TX, I had a lady member whose husband was more inclined to baseball than to spirituality and it was tearing their relationship apart. I taught her in counseling session how to jump into baseball - taking her spirituality with her. Love what he loves, and in turn he will love what you love. She bought my argument and guess what? The husband ultimately invited me to come hold home fellowship at their home weekly. I even attended some of his baseball events and we became buddies for ever.
Additionally, I am yet to be convinced that marriage to a "believer" is far better in essence than marriage to an "unbeliver" - if divorce statistics in USA is anything to go by.
One of my pastor friends married an unbliever who turned out to become a an awesome ministry support for him than some hyper spirituals could have been.
Christians have the most dysfunctional marriages in USA - especially charismatic/pentecostal christianity. I am one of them - and I'm not proud of the evidence. Can we list divorced popular preachers within the past 7yrs right here in the USA alone?
I can't go with you on that one, Boaz. It's hard being married to an unbeliever. It's one thing to be married already and one gets saved, you have to try and work that out and pray for the unbeliever, But to outright marry one? No way~
I stayed with my ex for 27 years and even remarried him after several affairs. His heart was unregenerate and He did not have the mind of Christ.
My ex thought my belief in Jesus was crazy and persecuted me for it. I was very loving to him, but grew weary, too. My family begged me to leave him many times. He wanted me to go out and drink with him, watch R rated junk with him, used JC and GD all the time and in front of the kids, had a flaming temper, was full of the devil and displayed demonic behavior.
Just because two people are Christians, does not mean they will have a glorious marriage. You have to work at it, together. Couples who pray alone and together is one of the key successes of a Christian marriage. And that is the most neglected thing in most marriages.
Paul instructed widows to marry "in the Lord" ~"if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord" (1 Cor. 7:39)
Peter addressed two heirs of life (salvation) in a marriage here and how the husband's prayers would be hindered if he did not treat her right.
1 Peter 3:7~In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God's gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.
Christians who neglect to maintain that marriage and work at it through dates, prayer, bible study, play time, keeping themselves attractive and just plain determination to make it work through the hard times, are already in trouble. Today's stats show that. What happened to old things passing away and all things becoming new? That's why christian marriages are failing, too. The men are sitting at a computer full of porn, or the wives are filling their mind with carnal stuff and then it's supposed to bless their marriage?
Unsaved people have bad marriages, too,and a worse divorce rate than Christians. They usually embrace sinful lifestyles that lead to divorce. In some unsaved households, the kids grow up listening to filthy music, TV, watch a parent abuse alcohol, are taught that that evolution is right, gay marriage, okay sleazy clothing on their children, okay cussing in music and life and abortion is okay.
Christians everywhere need to do some housecleaning and fall in love with Jesus. Then marriages will be what He meant them to be between two believers and children will be sanctified by the parents as the bible says.
Yeh Im sorry also but i dont agree with your post either.
My ex didnt have different doctrines to me...he wasnt a believer in any shape or form. And it was him that didnt wanna live with me..not the other way round.
It is said in the bible not to be yoked with an unbeliever...its easy translation...it is a wse statement....as I have experienced to problems of such...
When the both of you are pulling in different directions and the darkness in them is constantly trying to pull you into unholy stuff and unritcheousness....then it better to be without them....
Thank u 4 sharing your story... Your story draws me closer to the Lord and makes me want only a spouse that worships the Lord and is led by our God. God is very merciful and full of love as long as we heed to his commandments. I wish u the best! but I hope u receive what God has 4 u b/c he knows all of your needs. God Bless!!!
I tried it once.It so difficult.You have biblical principles that contradict their beliefs.Im looking forward and praying for a christian one this time.
God bless you always Lucy! You just put it all so beautifully! Let us all walk together in the Light so that our children may also be blessed to walk in the light always!
