I'm intrigued by the idea of being "equally yoked" to one's marraige partner.
In my 20's, I fell "in love" and married a non-believer. After 8 years of marraige, he stepped outside of our marraige, having a long-term affair with a woman he worked with. Because our marriage was only based upon the emotional "love" and sexual infatuation of our youth, I believe that we never set God as the foundation of our marraige. Thus, the marriage I once thought was indestructible has now dissolved.
I'm just curious if others are wondering about God's will for our lives, in particular our future marriages? Is it okay for me to be the one seeking friendships here online, instead of trusting in Him to provide his perfect mate for me?
Your thoughts on finding God's perfect mate for you? Thoughts on being equally yoked?
Whether you find your love on this site is up to God if you are truely seeking His direction. Some actually have found it here while others have enjoyed new friendships, only. Either way, it's a win win situation. You can find love in the most non-conventional circumstances, when God is guiding the outcome. He always uses our weaknesses to confound us! Be open to His lead and He will guide the dance!
I have been married twice and unfortunately divorced twice. Being unequally Yoked to me no longer makes sence.
I believe that marriage involves a contract between a man and woman and God. If you believe and your spouce don't you will both be pulling in different directions.
If your already married to a unbeliever you are to stay married except for sexual inmorality. If the unbelieving spouce divorces you,you are not bound.
I was married once and have been single about 12 years by choice. I have met many beautiful godly women over the years and have developed some great friendships. When I met my wife I was her friend first but I was also very lonely and full of love which I wished to share. God tried to tell me to wait on HIM for HIS choice for me. HE further warned me that I wasn't ready. I didn't listen to HIM and married anyway.
It's hard to describe the pain I felt while married. I loved both the Lord and my wife. I was unable to speak to her about my deep love and gratefulness to GOD for all HE had done for me and in me. She came to the Lord thankfully but even then we were still unequally yoked for we were on very different levels and I was too young in Christ to be a true priest in my home. God knew I wasn't ready and tried to save me the pain. Nevertheless, despite the pain I praise God for the experience for not only did I gain my son but I gained a sister in Christ. Although she chose not to stay with me, we are still close friends and God used my willfulness to break the very things in me that caused me to disobey in the first place.
I now have very little problem waiting on the Lord even if HE chooses to withhold from me a bride in this life. I gladly lay down the desires of my heart that Christ may increase while I decrease. I am content now to wait as Isaac did for Rebekah or Christ is for HIS BRIDE for when the servent of God brings the bride HE has prepared not only will I be ready but she too will be a true helpmate to me. I know the depth of our love for Christ will only enhance our Love, Respect, Caring, Patience, and Passion for each other. I patiently wait for that perfect yoke which will allow us to walk side by side straight into the arms of the Lord.
I think we'd all be limiting God's power and abilities if we believed that He couldn't use this site as way of meeting the "one" He has appointed us to marry. I don't want to box
Him in and to do so would be a tragedy...I dare say...lol!
I have been unequally yoked in relationships before and
it definitely isn't the way to go. You suffer far more
emotional damage, and unfortunately, the majority
of my dating, etc. came before I gave my life to Christ.
Granted, I gained a lot of valuable relationship experience
during that time, but to be equally yoked
is where my foucs is now. It's the only way to go!
I even have collected some awesome Christian books this year on marriage, communication, intimacy, etc. that no doubt, God is wanting me to study in preperation before my "one" arrives. He works in some many ways...I love it, it makes our journey more adventerous and enjoyably mysterious!
I discern that in a God centered marriage with two
people who are saved and in an active relationship with
Jesus Christ will make that bond more beautiful,
blessed, powerful, and purposeful than anything
two unsaved and unbiblical married people could do.
I look forward to loving and serving my future wife, praying for her and with her, and serving God in ways that we are both called to do.
I suspect when you are truly equally yoked there will
be a higher level of accountability, honesty, trust, fidelity,
openness, forgiveness, compassion. For the Christian marriages, the qualities of Christ should and need to be in your relationship.
Hopefully this added something positive to your perspective!
I am currently reading a book about marriage and relationship. I have found that there are two types of people in this world: the followers of Christ and the followers of the devil. If as a child of God I decided to mate with the follower of the devil, I deny Christ and God and become affiliated with the devil. Marrying someone of different belief than yourself is nothing more than rejecting the living God in your life.
If you read your Bible you should have read 2nd Corinthians 6:14-18
14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?
16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you.
18 And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.
God's will is for us to fellowship with other believers and have these more intimate relationships with other born again bible believing Christians. You see Matthew 12:24-30
24 But when the Pharisees heard it, they said, This fellow doth not cast out devils, but by Beelzebub the prince of the devils.
25 And Jesus knew their thoughts, and said unto them, Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every city or house divided against itself shall not stand:
26 And if Satan cast out Satan, he is divided against himself; how shall then his kingdom stand?
27 And if I by Beelzebub cast out devils, by whom do your children cast them out? therefore they shall be your judges.
28 But if I cast out devils by the Spirit of God, then the kingdom of God is come unto you.
29 Or else how can one enter into a strong man's house, and spoil his goods, except he first bind the strong man? and then he will spoil his house.
30 He that is not with me is against me; and he that gathereth not with me scattereth abroad.
Jesus knew when he said this that a kingdom divided against itself shall not stand thats why God put these verses in here so we could know what his will is and follow his wisdom to a happily ever after.
Matthew 5:27-28 & 31-32
27 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:
28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
You see marrying a divorced person is commiting adultry because your marrying another persons wife. So what you do with these scriptures and what you learned from this experiance is completly up to you. If you do decide to date and remarry and I don't advise you to because of the adultry verses I just mentioned a man marrys a divorced woman will cause him to leave the ministry. Because he would be disobediant to God in this area.
Necessity of friendships (in Christ!) first? How can anyone go wrong with that. men and women hang their hats way too much on the chemistry/non chemistry thing don't you think? As you point out if that's all there is it's destined to a half life for any future relationship at best.
well it was during the end a marrage that I found the LORD or I should I say he revealed himself to me, and I handed my life over to him. Now there is one thing the LORD tought me was that anything that is not built in him will and always fall apart hence my ex marrage. If he says do not be unequaly yoke he meant it and for a reason. For example if I am to say that the house hold is fasting and I have a wife who is not saved would she want anything to do with? we need to pray and ask the LORD how he view marrage and we will understand why he said do not be unequally yoke, darkness and light do not mix. For you are the Light of the world: therefore let your light shine with other light, there with you can edify each other, and help each other grow in CHRIST, the rock of our salvation. MAY THE LORD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU AND MAKE HIS FACE TO SHINE UPON YOU AND GIVE YOU PEACE IN JESUS NAME AMEN.
