Unfortunately Some christian couples Aren't even Really Compatible
Posted : 9 Jul, 2023 12:22 PM
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8 Early Signs You and Your Partner Are Highly Compatible, According To Experts
Here are the signs to know whether the person you’re dating right now .
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Published in
Mind Cafe
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Dec 2, 2021
Early Signs You and Your Partner Are Highly Compatible, According To Experts
When it comes to looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with, one aspect stands out from the rest: relationship compatibility.
I’ve been in enough failed relationships to know what I’m talking about. Your chemistry is off the charts. They make your heart skip a beat. They’re everything you ever wanted in a partner. But once the initial high wears off, reality sinks in, and you start to realize you’re as different as night and day. There’s just simply no common ground for the relationship to stand on.
Next thing you know, your perfect love story crumbles.
Where did it all go wrong? The truth is, you just weren’t compatible in the first place. But what entails compatibility? Does being compatible mean you’re always on the same page with each other? Never arguing? Liking the same things? Wrong.
“Compatibility is not about how similar you are, but more about how you complement each other,” matchmaker Greta Tufvesson told The Independent.
While you don’t have to be 100% compatible to share a life together, there are a few signs to know whether your relationship will go the distance or not. Unfortunately, some people ignore these and assume that if the relationship doesn’t work in the beginning, it will later on. Sometimes, they do. Sometimes, they won’t. Such is life.
Wondering if you and your partner are compatible? Pay attention to these early signs of a highly compatible relationship, according to experts.
You genuinely enjoy each other’s company.
Relationships aren’t always going to be candlelit dinners in Michelin-star restaurants.
On the contrary, a lot of your alone time will involve doing chores, grocery shopping, and Netflix binges. If you’re lucky, you’ll end up spending a long time with your partner. But that depends on whether or not you can handle living through the mundane moments together as much as the special ones.
If you’re a highly compatible match, then you’ll genuinely enjoy each other’s company, no matter what you’re doing.
“This sounds obvious, but many couples truly don’t enjoy being together — just the two of them,” relationship expert and author Monique A. Honaman told INSIDER. They either rely on going out with other couples or having fun in groups. As a result, BBC News reported that the pandemic saw a rise in break-ups and divorces.
“If you can’t go for a walk together, stay in and have a quiet dinner together, enjoy a deep conversation together, it may not be the perfect match,” Honaman added.
You share a positive attitude towards each other.
Got a promotion? Signed a new client? Secured a book deal?
Your ideal partner will want to celebrate your victories without jealousy or scorekeeping. In a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, couples who respond to their partner’s triumphs positively, as if they were their own, experienced greater satisfaction than those who reacted poorly. While this isn’t to say that you should break out in dance the next time they have some good news, optimism is a sure sign you have a highly compatible relationship.
But the benefits of seeing the cup half full don’t stop there.
In another study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, researchers found that when just one partner possesses a high level of positivity, there’s less conflict in the relationship. Now, imagine if it was both partners. In the words of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, “into each life, some rain must fall,” meaning that everyone, even those in relationships, will experience difficulty and heartache at some point. What do highly compatible partners do?
“Compatible partners feel safe enough to splash in the puddles with one another,” clinical psychologist Ryan Howes told The Huffington Post.
You fight instead of holding back your feelings.
It’s normal to want to avoid conflict as much as possible.
But fighting isn’t necessarily a bad thing in a relationship. In fact, in a study published in Society for Personality and Social Psychology, researchers report that it’s the glue that keeps couples together. Holding things back will only lead to feelings of resentment which will most likely come up later in the relationship, or worse, during an argument.
If you’re highly compatible together, you should be able to express yourself without causing your relationship to fracture.
It takes a great deal of trust to disclose vulnerable and painful parts of your life to someone important to you. But compatible couples can withstand anything and provide support while working toward a solution. “If you learn to argue in a healthy way early on, then you’re more comfortable expressing your emotions to your partner and working through your different points of view,” relationship expert and author Dr. Jane Greer told Women’s Health Magazine.
So, the next time you’re at odds with your partner, don’t shy away from laying it on the line. If you can’t even let your significant other help you when you’re struggling, how compatible are you, really?
You both know how to meet in the middle.
If you haven’t figured it out yet, being compatible doesn’t mean you and your partner agree on all matters all the time.
“If you’re just looking to date someone who is exactly like you, you put yourself at risk of boredom,” said Tufvesson. Therefore, don’t fret every time you have a difference of opinion. If you want an irrefutable sign of your compatibility with your partner, look at how you resolve your differences instead.
Maroon 5 sang, “It’s not always rainbows and butterflies, it’s compromise that moves us along.”
Relationship psychotherapist Kate Moyle agrees. “It’s always going to be a tussle between the individual needs of those involved, and we shouldn’t expect to be perfectly aligned or agreed on everything,” she told The Independent. Are you both willing to negotiate for the sake of your relationship? Are you both prepared to lose for the relationship to win? These questions are the best indicators of how well-suited you are.
If you find it easy to compromise whenever you’re in disagreement, then you and your partner are highly compatible.
You don’t force each other to change.
Movies may have led you to believe that a compatible couple involves two people who find no fault in each other.
But news flash: even the most positive person on earth will notice things about their partner that will drive them insane. Unless they’re massive deal-breakers for you, you have to find a way to accept them if you’re interested to stay long-term. This includes everything from small quirks to larger issues at hand that you’re both willing to work on.
“If you are the perfect match, you are willing to accept [them] entirely,” Honaman told INSIDER.
As much as you’d like to think you can change a person, you can’t. But more importantly, why would you want to? If you’re constantly looking to change your partner then you’re not actually in love with them. You’re just in love with a version that you would like them to be. Accepting your partner as they are, major warts and all, is a tell-tale sign of compatibility.
That means you don’t have to love the way they leave their dirty underwear on the floor or their other bad habits, but if you can accept and work with them, then you might survive the test of time.
Your interests overlap with one another.
This one seems like common sense but you would be surprised at how many couples get together despite not sharing a common interest.
For instance, I know someone from high school who dated a famous basketball player. While there’s no problem with that, she never did show interest in what he did professionally. She would rarely show up for his games and would rather go out shopping with her friends. After a while, it became obvious that she was more likely with him for the perks he brought to her life. Therefore, it was no surprise that their romance ended as fast as it started.
I’m not saying you have to have everything in common with your partner.
Of course, it’s key to have separate interests (and separate identities) outside of your relationship. But it truly helps if you’re able to enjoy at least some activities together. “There should be at least two or three things you really like to do together,” relationship expert Talia Goldstein told INSIDER.
Whether it’s baking, yoga, or watching anime, being able to share in something — anything — determines your compatibility as a couple.
You’re working towards the same goals.
As I said, you don’t need to have the same interests to be highly compatible as a couple.
However, if you want to be in it for the long haul, you must make sure that both of you are on the same page and are going in the same direction. From your finances, to how many kids you want, to where you want to live, your goals must align with one another. “When the going gets tough, like it does in all relationships, knowing that you share the same core values makes difficult decisions easier because you both have the same inner compass,” relationship therapist Megan Fleming told The Huffington Post.
Unfortunately, some couples choose to discuss these things down the road instead of earlier.
Like my friends Eric and Jamie, who suddenly came to a crossroads, when after a year of dating, they found their visions for the future weren’t the same. Eric wanted to get married and start a family before he turned 35 whereas Jamie wanted to pursue her doctorate first. They argued and fought over the issue, yet stayed together, secretly hoping that the other would come around.
In the end, neither of them was ready to budge for the other.
Despite so much history and love for one another, they failed the compatibility test because they were working towards different goals. Bottom line is, whatever they may be, if it’s important to you, then it should be important for your partner, too.
You offer each other your undivided attention.
There’s nothing worse than telling someone about something important to you and noticing that they’re on their phone, tapping away.
But no worries, because if you’re highly compatible with your partner, they won’t do that to you. “They will be completely present in your company, which is an important part of human connection and demonstrates our value to that person,” Moyle told The Independent. After all, being compatible comes down to one thing — whether you truly like each other or not.
If you, two, feel as if having each other around is enough on most days, then you’re in a highly compatible relationship.
Getting into a relationship is like gambling.
You never know how it’s going to turn out, but you can hope for the best, and work with whatever you can. If you see these early signs in your relationship, then congratulations. You’re with someone you’re highly compatible with.
Hold on to each other with everything you’ve got because yours is a connection you can’t just find anywhere else.
But here’s a heads up though: if you won’t be able to tick off everything on this list, don’t worry too much. Remember, it’s normal to feel difficulty sometimes, especially when you find several differences between you and your partner. However, that doesn’t mean you’re automatically headed towards disaster. It just means you may need to change the direction of your relationship and work on a few things.
If you get to survive that, you’ll get to survive anything.
Otherwise, know when to quit on something that isn’t working. At that point, at least you get to say you’ve tried.
Unfortunately Some christian couples Aren't even Really Compatible
Posted : 15 Sep, 2023 11:21 AM
It's very simple. If a Christian marries a non Christian you would not likely to be compatible. If a Christian marries another Christian you should be compatible. If your not it's because you're not following biblical principles.
