What's it like being invovled in a faith based relationship?
Posted : 19 Jan, 2009 11:05 PM
Fun...everyone wants to have fun. As long as it involves fellowship with other Christians you can have all the fun in the world. But fun can be a financial burden especially when it comes to the "dating" aspect of an earthly relationship.
Fun is what we use to have. Part of our old lives. Fun is what kept us in our last relationship. If one is having fun now and wants to keep having fun, then it is a blessing from God, stay single and keep having fun. But things are going to be a lot more serious when one is committed into a relationship.
First, there is nothing about going on cruises, ski trips, rock climbing written in the bible. Those are indulgence, frivolous waste of God's blessings that could be going to a good cause. If it goes beyond our needs, and we have to use a credit card for it, then we are relying on the banks for the funds and not God. What is the biggest cause of the dissolving of a relationship? Money, sure we can all have fun but when the bills come around, have fun paying them and think about the missionaries that could have used those funds to provide food and medical attention to those in need.
You don't have to have fun to share tender moments with someone. Isn't that what a relationship is all about? Sharing? Loving? When two people are not busy with trying to fulfill the obligations of daily life, they should be sharing time with eachother. God allows that. Instead of going over scripture you talk about how your day went, you have dinner and relax. You share the closeness here on earth because you can't have a physical relationship with the Lord. That is why God made woman for man.
God made man to till the soil (work and be a provider) and woman to be man's helpmate and bear his children (keep the household in order and maybe work a parttime job to keep a comfortable living standard). Anything more than that puts stress on a relationship. If a couple is working to live beyond their means then the relationship will faulter, not only will time to be devoted to eachother will be sacrificed but the stress of paying the bills may hurt spiritually.
God blesses us with what we need to exist on this earth, the Lord even rewards us with a few extra blessings in the form of material things. But, lets face it, if any extra cash comes our way and we really don't need it to survive, shouldn't we give it back to God? Let someone who really could use it have it? Didn't God promise we would never be wanting anything?
Believe me, it can be more exhilarating and satisfying knowing that you were a part of God's will than doing 80 mph on a Harley.
What's it like being invovled in a faith based relationship?
Posted : 28 Jan, 2009 12:38 PM
Hi Ephesians,
Now, some points of your post I agree with... BUT, I also think that you are geting into a little bit of legalism with your "FUN" comments.
Firstly, there is no where in scritpure where "FUN" is inappropriate or condemned, whether as a couple or as single person dating. It sounds to me, that you're only speaking from yourown personal points of view of your experiences of having FUN, and the cost of spending money on dates that didn't work out, and your cost and expense you paid for the FUN. But I don't think you're are really seeing the value of such enjoyment of entertaining ones self or the other person on a date that may have cost a pretty penny.
Sure, there are some "FUN" things that cost money, its not that you're depending on the banks, and not God... some FUN is very expensive! But then, there are many nice things that are fun, that cost nothing and are enjoyable on a date with your mate or newly found person.
Secondly, if those of us who are born again find oursleves interested in another person as a possible mate, I don't think dating or having fun is a problem. This is where faith and depending on God comes into play... if you find a truly born again person who is interested in you, and you in her... EQUALLY YOKED. Which is to mean in the spiritual things of God, in financial matters, and the FUN things of entertaining each other. There are no problems about how much a FUN date will cost to go on a cruise or how much it cost for dinner. Both parties will be in agreement as to how and what should be spent or where an evening should be spent...
Being in a faith based relationship whether dating or married, should not be based on how much fun you have with each other, but rather on how much quality time is spent with each other enjoying each others company doing nothing... sitting around getting to know each other, movies, walks in the park, etc.
A good stable relationship in marriage or the dating process cannot be establish without FUN things, doesn't matter if the fun cost money or not. This is how one grows to know each other in limited intimate knowledge. Of course, even if you've known a person all your life, and you dated for 10 yrs. and are married for 40 yrs. You will still never really know that person for who or what he/she really is... but to grow in a relationship doing FUN things as a couple is very important for spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical maturity... and is a learning process for both.
So don't be angry or upset about having to spend a little money to have FUN in getting to know a date or in a marriage. Your focus should be on how much FUN you had with the person, even if the relationship doesn't work out. FUN keeps a relationship alive and healthy. There are even fun things one can do in the things of the Lord, and even Jesus encourages leisure time to be spent. Although He tried hard to spend such leisure time alone with the disciples but the people refused to allow Him to do so...
Hvaing FUN is FUN!... I call it, personal mental health time out, it keeps you young...:party::laugh:
What's it like being invovled in a faith based relationship?
Posted : 29 Jan, 2009 02:39 PM
Thank you for your insights ET,
Dating/courtship can be a wonderful way of becoming familiar with a prospective mate. Let's go back to the days of "Father Knows Best" and "My Three Sons". Most of the time dating was restricted to movies, dinner, and a local dance. "Swooning" eachother was a common thing done in the local "icecream shoppe" or dinner, all very public and not very expensive at all. Some of us can think of the smiles we had on our faces in our early adolescence when watching those shows in black and white with the anticipation and excitement of being able to start dating. Sorry got nostalgic there.
When I said fun is part of our "old life", think of it, isn't that what kept us together with the person we were previously with? How much of God's blessings did we have to give up to have that fun? Did we feel guilt when that collection plate went by us and we couldn't drop an envelope in it? Or were we too selfish? Did having all that fun lead to stress in our relationship? Did we say to ourselves, "This isn't fun anymore."?
Fun for Jesus was being able to fellowship with His bretheren. Since he was a carpenter's son making things for his mother. Going on to hilltops and ministering to the masses. Maybe even tormenting the hypocates of the temples. In all, doing what was pleasing in the Father's eyes.
Fun is for the young, leaves them with happy memories. Fun is best done when done in fellowship with others (i.e. parties or dinners). Next time you see an elderly couple, who seem happy and holding hands, introduce yourself to them and ask them how they had fun together. Or you can watch "When Harry Met Sally".
What's it like being invovled in a faith based relationship?
Posted : 29 Jan, 2009 03:51 PM
aawww, Ephesians, why so cast down on my friend? There is nothin worng with enjoying a good time with your mate or friend doing something together you both like. Or even having fun doing things by yourself, your favorite hobby or whatever.
Sounds like your joy is gone, becasue you have not enjoyed the fun things you thoought would bring you delight with the person you were with. But Please don't allow your down time now, stop your from enjoying your life, or being with a person you enjoy. You must make your own fun things happen for you, and not rely on others to make you happy or enjoy an outing.
Lift up your head O, you gates and let your joy return...laugh more and take control over your emotions. Did you know the devil likes it when you're down and have no joy. But Jesus Christ has come that we may have joy and life more abundantly... So rejoice and enjoy and have fun!:yay:
What's it like being invovled in a faith based relationship?
Posted : 31 Jan, 2009 08:47 PM
Sister Ella,
I have a lot of fun with the people I work with, can always find a funny comment for the goofy things they do. Plus I do enjoy being around a lot of people in a relaxed setting. Love "bar-b-q's", playing soft ball, volley ball, you know pic-a-nic stuff.
The bible states "We are but a whisp..." we don't know if we are going to be around tomorrow. Why make big plans to take a vacation somewhere just to do the things you do when you have freetime at home? In the past I would have rather helped a friend landscape their yard rather than spending the money going shopping, eating at restaurants, and sleeping in an unfamiliar bed. Hey I bet you don't know how much fun a guy and a gal can have with a gallon of paint. The satisfaction you feel when you both stand back and admire you efforts, and the process of cleaning up (if you know what I mean).
Sometimes having fun is too much work, as long as two people are together there are ways to have fun, just takes some inspiration, dedication, and love.
What's it like being invovled in a faith based relationship?
Posted : 31 Jan, 2009 10:06 PM
Ephesians,
I do agree with your view, and life is short and this is why we must treasure each moment with those we count dear to our hearts. And especially, our mates and/or relationship friend doing those things together that bring us joy, becasue we never know...
Oh, yeah! Man, do i know how much fun you can have with a a paint bursh LOL. I also know who much fun can be had on a nice vacation with the one you love on a trip to place you've never been. Moreover, I do understand where you're coming from, if when you have spent your money on such trip, and things don't work out. Or if the trip was taken with you wife and the fights continued once you were home. Yeah, this was a waste of money, time, and false hope.
But, living in regret is also a waste of time, hope, and spending of money. In that, your regret leads to anger and other related health problems that you must now medically get taken care of, and this is no fun either.
All I'm saying is for you to please don't knock those good time you have had in the past. Rejoice that God blessed you with the finances to take the trip or go places, and keep your eyes focused on having more good times with a nice godly woman God will send your way. Maybe it will not be for marriage, but just for a companion with whom the both of you will enjoy doing things together that you like to do, and she likes to do.
Don't completely turn away from enjoying yourself... whatever monies you have spent over the past, was meant to be spent at such time. And whatever ,onies you may spend now enjoying a nice date, count it all joy that you have/had it to spend. You can't take it with when you're gone from this place , so enjoy your life!:winksmile:
You're such an intelligent man, I know God has someone waiting for you, but He's waiting on you to forgive and forget the past... that's just how he works. So work on your heart problem of being hurt from the past... and keep it moving:laugh: everything will be alright!.
What's it like being invovled in a faith based relationship?
Posted : 18 Jul, 2009 07:37 AM
Ep..
This sounds to me more like a money issue than a fun issue
I am 38 almost 39 and I enjoy life. i have fun. I don't always spend money to have fun but I sometimes do. I have even taken my daughter on vacation a couple of times. and YES that cost money but I say it is money well spent not wasted on fun.
It does sound like you have been burned by some who are seeking money and excitemnet but try not to paint everyone in that light.
