Thread: Are you really ready for a relationship???
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Are you really ready for a relationship???
Posted : 18 May, 2010 06:57 PM
I've had many what I in my mind call my 'dating adventures' since I've been divorced.
My adventures, observing people's behavior and listening to my peers speak has lead me to believe that many who say they are ready for a relationship, in fact, are not.
My pastor says he's constantly amazed at the phenomena of people who are not married wanting to be and people who are married trying to find a way of escape.
I don't think people realize the amount of work and commitment that you sign up to when you link your soul with another of God's children. It is not ALL fun and romance. There is a giving of yourself (Love does not seek its own I Cor 13:4-6) that I have observed that many people don't practice and/or not prepared to deal with.
Many of us are still dealing with old business of previous relationships. We are hurting, angry and wounded from wrongs that have been done to us and we have not been healed. Time alone is not enough to 'get over' wounds of your soul. We must invite God into our yielded heart and let Him heal us so that not even the residue or smoke of your fiery trial is evident.
I believe we who are here on this site and say, yes I am ready, must evaluate ourselves. For those of us who are depending on God to lead us to our mate that we have prayed for, must be ready to love in the true sense of the Word.
Good stuff here folks...thanxs Babygirl fer the post. I agree with very much with what everyone shared...
PJ ~ Yup ! Selfishness is probly the #1 factor since most humans in general are selfish to some extent. A close second is Communications...lol...Christianity is about love/service/giveing/obideance etc...non-selfish...xo
I have a lot of ideas for the singles ministry at our church. The biggest and most important ideas I think are letting people know it's okay to be single. It's an excellent time to get to know yourself, who you are and what you want. You have time to increase your intimacy with God.
The Bible in Col 2:10 says that we are 'complete in Him'. We must be complete and healthy then we will attract those who are complete and healthy. :applause:
I think emotional maturity encompasses a great majority of these needs for a mature & committed relationship such as marriage.
It is hard to find a spouse who is of our mindset & skillset.
I understand chemistry VERY well. I'm human after all.
However, I am more and more convinced that chemistry or sexual attraction is NOT a good determiner of a good spouse or even of a meaningful connection that marriage can stand strong on.
I think if your body works properly & you are healthy, you will respond chemically to a lot of physical & emotional factors regardless of agreement or rationale or proper decision-making in a moment of good & right feelings. (ask anyone who has been abused or raped) that's the reason we can feel dirty after someone takes advantage or we become confused about why we chose something in a moment that we didn't give our hearts to in other areas.
Our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit & it is a responsibility of ours to hold them in high reverence. My motto is "hands off the temple treasures". in the old test, people were killed for touching the ark of the covenant (which was known for housing the glory of God). now we are that housing & the presence of the Living God indwells us. We have NO right to do anything we want with what God has bought with the blood of His Son. We die to ourselves as a testimony of love to our TRUE LOVE who gave Himself for us. If sex becomes a NEED of our Father to fulfill His work & purpose for our lives, it is HIS responsibility to satisfy it (by bringing us a husband). I truly believe that it is a statement of faith to trust that God knows & has a plan to fulfill needs that we cannot satisfy for ourselves. In the meantime I believe He is trying my faithfulness for the trust that my husband will need in me & in God to keep me. My faithfulness to God when I'm alone & getting no benefits of a relationship outside of covenant tells my husband-to-be that I am a woman of honor whether or not I am getting benefits from anyone else b/c my commitment is to GOD & if HE counts on me, so can everyone else. My husband's heart will "safely trust in me" b/c I have submitted to God's protection & care & ability to keep me. HARD? honestly? i am CONVINCED that without the POWER of God to keep us, there is no saving our body for any reason in this society. To GOD be all the glory!!
Baggage. The past can be heavy baggage or it can be lessons you have learned. I had my first marriage and I think that the best way to look at the past, if you forgiven those people who you have not had it good and you are at peace with things what have happened before then you are ready for relationship. It is all about giving a love. But it also about being harmonious with person you meet. That is why it is also very important to wait for intimacy, to see are we able to be harmonious?
