It is important to be in a relationship with a Christian, if you are a Christian, because you both have that understanding, of the Spiritual walk with Jesus.
But every Christian is not on the same Spiritual Level, so
is it also important to be in a relationship with someone,
who is on your Spiritual Level ? Are would that even be
a Real problem being you both are equally yoked according to the Bible.
I don't see how being on the same level could be a requirement because it's likely both will mature at different rates - even if you start off level, in a decade you may not be.
Still, that's a good thing because few people reach my level of understanding, wisdom and humility...
I think it is important for there to be at least a similar place of spiritual maturity between two people, even if they are both Christians. Yes, people grow at different rates but once you grow closer to one another you should both grow FASTER than either of you did before, since God should be the center and source of your relationship anyway. You should then both be growing at about the same rate if your'e both equally serious about Christ and growing spiritually because you'll be growing together... therefore, when you start growing together you should be at close to the same level. If God is the focus of your relationship (as he should be) then you don't want to be paired with someone who hasn't experienced the personal relationship with Christ on the level that you have. Since the only way to really grow spiritually is to trust God more and more, you don't want to be tied to someone who trusts very little when you trust a lot, or vice versa. Honestly, it just doesn't work well for either person because there's frustration and it's hard to understand one another if there is a dramatic difference in spiritual maturity.
This can apply to friendships too: I have never had a girlfriend, but I have had friendgirls. Two friendgirls I had at different times (we had been growing closer and might have ended up dating eventually if not for circumstances) were both at dramatically different spiritual maturity levels from me, not trusting God as much as I did and not really experiencing him in their lives as a truly personal God; because of that, she would be frustrated with me "sermoning" her and I would get frustrated with her for not letting go and trusting God with this or that which was weighing her down. While I did see spiritual growth in both girls, we were clearly on different levels and honestly it never would have lasted. One of them is married now to a man who was and is about on her level, and they have both grown together marvelously to where she is quite more mature than she could have grown with me I think, because she was matched with the right man (not me). The other girl still has yet to see spiritual growth from her current level because she simply hasn't gotten there yet, and in fact my prompting and encouragement only handicaps her growth because we are on such different levels.
Yet another friendgirl of mine is incredibly spiritually mature, far more so than I. She is a wonderful friend to have, and we are able to encourage each other to growth but we would not be a good match because of how different our spiritual maturity levels are. Not only because the man is to take the role of spiritual leader for his wife and family, but because if she is already so much more mature than I am, I want to be on equal terms with someone.
Imagine a classroom setting for a certain subject. I'm not great at math, so say I was in a math class with a girl who is a math genius. If math were to be the basis of our relationship together and our lives were to be dedicated to learning math, we would both be disappointed because I would be so far behind her in learning level and she would constantly be held back. If it were a different subject like government, I might be way ahead and it would be dissatisfying for both of us then too.
When it talks about being equally yoked, that is to say that your teammate should be about as strong as you. You don't put a strong ox and a weak ox together; the strong one will tire out quickly and the weak one will be struggling to keep up. Both will be miserable and the task will not get done nearly as well as if you took two weak oxen and put them together or two strong oxen and put them together. They can go at their combined pace better, and if one gets tired the other one can sort of keep them going, and vice versa. That only works in roughly equal levels though.
I heard it said once that if you're looking for a spouse, your best bet for one that will work out well is to crawl/walk/run/sprint toward God as fast as you can, and then look around and see who else is where you are moving at your pace.
You are right in needing equality in spirituality. Not to say a stronger Christian couldn't help a less mature Christian grow but too often it's the opposite affect....the weaker Christian pulls the mature Christian down.
There are other areas that should be considered, too. Financial, educational, family background, want children/don't want children, emotional, etc. Not that any of these differences can't be overcome in a marriage, differences can introduce problems. Many premarital counseling sessions include the "compatibility tests" that identify potential differences that may become problematic if not identified and worked through.
In another thread, I mentioned "walking in the other's shoes". This figure of speech means understanding the other's perspective...thinking about how the circumstances or perspective of the other person can influence the actions, decisions, disposition, etc. Thebmore you learn about each other BEFORE the marriage and learn to work through will help when the differences arise...and they will...no matter how equal you think you are!
I think that as with many things in the Bible, there are deeper meanings than the surface. Unequally yoked definitely means believer/unbeliever, but I think it can also be applied to the other kinds of equality too. Just my personal thought.
The more you learn about each other BEFORE the marriage and learn to work through will help when the differences arise...and they will...no matter how equal you think you are!
Very True!
No matter how equal you are you are still an individual
For the most part, I believe that a person's spiritual level is irrelevant as to whether or not we are willing to have a serious relationship with them. As long as both of you are Believers, then I don't see where it should make any difference. HOWEVER, there are exceptions (as I've mentioned in another post). One exception would be if the other person has only been to church for several months...which means you've got to be very careful. WHY??? Because my little sister got into a relationship with a young man who claimed to be turning his life around...but then after a while he suddenly went back to the "old him" lifestyle and basically dumped my sister and wouldn't even contact her and explain. Obviously he didn't "truly convert". Like I've said, YOU'VE GOT TO BE VERY CAREFUL WHEN IT COMES TO THOSE WHO ARE "NEW" TO THE FAITH! Another exception would be if (for example) one of you has a strong calling to be a missionary in another country, but the other person isn't willing to live/move there.
I'm sure some of you might be wondering why I said that I think a person's spiritual level is irrelevant. Well, let me explain by asking a simple question:
WHAT GOOD DOES IT DO IF WE HAVE AN ABUNDANCE OF WISDOM, YET WE CHOOSE TO SPEND THE REST OF OUR LIVES WITH SOMEONE ON OUR SAME SPIRITUAL LEVEL??? Would you leave a person who is spiritually blind to lead someone else who is also spiritually blind??? IF THE BLIND LEAD THE BLIND, BOTH WILL FALL WHERE??? Please understand, I'm not saying we can't be with someone who is on our same spiritual level...but I honestly believe it's wrong for us to not even give someone a chance just because they're on a different spiritual level than ourselves. After all, if you were on the lower spiritual level, wouldn't you hope that someone stronger than you would be willing to help you up to where they are spiritually??? I think I've made my point. I believe the most important factor has to do with love. :)
Please do not misunderstand me; I don't mean to imply that spiritual level is of the most crucial importance. I just don't think there should be dating on drastically different levels between two different people. If spiritual maturity is at all like any other kind of maturity (physical, mental, emotional, etc) then it goes through several reasonably-understood phases of development. I know it's not quite the same thing, but it still plays a role of "would you date someone dramatically younger/older than you?" Some people would, others wouldn't. Age isn't a great indicator of maturity though... would you date someone who acts like a middle schooler if you act like a 30 year old? That's a maturity discrepancy right there.
The emphasis I'm trying to make is that spiritual maturity is a starting point for a solid relationship, as far as I'm concerned. Once a Christ-centered relationship gets going, he is the real focus and the spiritual growth can happen at an incredible rate between two people. It doesn't matter if both are mature or both immature; as long as they're similar they can grow spiritually a lot. The blind leading the blind shouldn't come into play here at all, because then it is God leading them if the two are truly seeking after him. After all, "if you seek me you will find me if you seek me with all of your heart" is a promise we can take to the bank.
Yes, I am always greatly pleased to have people around me who are more spiritually (and in other ways) mature than I. It really does help me grow, but I don't think that's the right way to date. Great friends, but not great circumstances for relationship unless we become equal-ish. If you ever intend to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want to have every advantage and have things aligned well so you aren't fighting just to stay together. Make smooth paths for yourself, and trust that God can provide the right person in every dimension he thinks is important. Out of all the billions of people on the planet, if you're patient I know God is big enough to bring the right person to grow with toward him, and I believe that a level of spiritual equality is a foundational key part of a successful relationship because anything not built on the Rock is just sinking sand.
I do think that I'm right, and I have many reasons for thinking this way. If you don't believe the same that's fine, I just wanted to be sure I had clarified my position and hopefully helped understanding.
Who is to say a person with strong faith or high spiritual levels won't become weak or low one day?
Didn't Moses struck the rock twice?
Everyone has high and low. That's why we have marriage in the first place.
Can anyone say that they will always be healthy? I know some people even got married knowing the other one is sick so they could take care the other until they are well. This should be the same in the Spirit.
9 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
10 If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
