Ok so I know this is a question some people ask, hmm why is it so bad, is it really a sin? What if we are going to get married? Etc etc.
My whole life from the age I was sixteen I got raped, to the age of 26 sex was a part of my life. It was like eating, sleeping, etc.
It was a way to get attention from a man. Because my dad, and brother were lacking in it. It was a way to feel better about myself, to get away from my problems.
I learned how to have sex without loving a person. Without being intimate. I became addicted to it. Every time I would give myself away to these guys, for a couple hours, days, months, however long it lasted. Usually only a couple days, before the guy was ready to move on. And then I was crushed, and needing my next fix. I tried to stop so many times.
Well this past month. Something incredible happened. I dated a guy for a month, he opened me up, and I fully trusted him like I never had before with any guy. We had the most intimate intense experiences. I fell hard for him. I thought this must really be love. I want to marry him. He wasn't a christian. My church warned me. I would have left my church, and quite possible left God for this man.
I thought this has to be right, this man is nice, doesn't abuse me, cares, and we have this wonderful intimate sexual relationship.
WRONG.
The dude was using me. And realized I was falling hard for him, he didn't have the balls to break up with me. He kept giving me hints, even trying to hook me up with one of his christian friends.
Finally I broke up with him. Went back to church. Broke down to God, my church, my friends, forgave, prayed, everything.
Well this guy wouldn't stop trying to talk to me. He wants to remain friends. I have no idea why. Everytime I get a text or call from him, I get upset, and cry.
He opened something in me that no man has ever touched before, and then pushed me away. I told him he raped my heart and my soul. That it was not his to take.
Yes it takes two. But when we met he knew I was vunerable. He told me straight up he wasn't looking for a relationship.
I feel used. I told him today, I want nothign to do with you. I forgive you. I wish you the best in life. But get out of my life.
So what is my point? My point is, your 10 sec to 4 hour. lol however long it takes satisfaction is not worth the pain you will go through when yall break up. And if your having premarital sex, your most likely going to break up.
So think before you do anything. And don't let anyone pressure you into this. Especially the virgins out there. You hold on to that beautiful piece of you. God will reward you I promise you.
To the women that haven't been through this kind of heart break. Be happy. Your single, yes thats lonely. But its worse when you give your body and heart away to a man, only to have him use it for a while, then give it back to you, and move on to another woman.
Another reason not to date a non christian person.
Well have a great day, thank you for letting me rant.
soluvable, God bless you, I totally love you and I don't even know you, I'll be praying for you. I'm sorry all that has happened to you, it is the past now, and you are a new woman, a new person. I pray that God will bless you and keep you strong for coming out of sin, for even being strong enough to at last reject sin.
This guy sounded like he made a mistake, but you know what? He was a worldly man, he didn't deserve you, because you are the King's daughter! That is, you are a princess, and a child of God because you are a christian.
Every one of those men that took from you in that way were like locusts.
And I promise you, that the Lord, your Father in Heaven really can restore to you the years the locusts have eaten...Joel 2:25
There's something else that I want you to understand,
The person those men took from, was never Christ within you, and Christ in you IS the reality of who you are - "I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me" Galatians 2:20
Though your flesh has gone its own way many times in the past, Christ within you - the reality of who you are, has never once given Himself to sin. That IS why you are able to be free from the weight of ALL of those experiences.
Every man fails, but Him. He promised to never leave you nor forsake you.
When God writes your love story, pains will come and go, but so will mercy and forgiveness.
The point is this: Waiting makes it special, & holy.
Paul teaches on the two becoming one. And that a man should not lay with a hired harlot as he rapes Christ when he does this. Christ never consented to having sex with a harlot.
Christ within you shouldn't be forced to become one with the person whom you have sex with, Christ wants us to be married if we are doing that.
And yes, Your heart gets shattered when you give away your physical body in sin.
Ever wonder why that Happens?
I offer this to you. You are made in God's image and likeness, and are more like God then ever before. The tender heart of God is offended by sin. It hurts Him. The Cross shows us just how much it hurts him, in down to earth, practical terms.
So why shouldn't we be hurt when we use something so special, so wonderful without setting a covenant. Sex is the only activity that human's can do that two people become One.
Thank you for sharing. Dating sites offer lot of temptation especially on premarital sex and sometimes I get confuse what is right or wrong...should I follow my heart even if it's not right for my own sake or should I keep on waiting?
Not all time that we Christian are strong in our faith and God use other people to remind and direct us on the right path.
Thank you Soluvable because you open my mind about the consequences of premarital sex and you save me from it.
So I wanted to say, that I met a guy on here. we met in person today. Went out on a date. He was the perfect gentlemen. I am in awe, and didn't know that guys like this existed. He didn't try anything the whole time. We talked about all kinds of cool stuff. Christianity, joked and laughed. It was so amazing.
So ya'll keep your heads up. There's some sweet guys out there.
I have to say though, I was very confused on this date. It was not what Im used to. lol. In the end I am very satisfied with the date. And it just stinks we are so far away. I can only go see him like once a month.
hi...i totally salute your honesty..it takes so much to share such delicate information about your life.
the good thing about even if we go through things that at times we are sorry of..things that we know dishonors God. He is still there, loving us unconditionally,accepting us when no one can... When He forgives He doesnt slap us with our past, He forgets it.. God said i love you with an everlasting love....do not forget that... Call upon Him and surely He will answer you..He is not far nor too busy to not give u the time......Godbless u
Well. Update on my situation. I will prolly get alot of hate emails or something for this. But I have decided to have a friends with benefits. He is a christian guy, very sweet, smart, and I could have a relationship with him someday but he has been really hurt and is protecting his heart. I am kinda nuts when I get into a relationship. never had a normal healthy one. So anyone who is nice im like this is the one lets get married.
Well I decided to do this with him, because I know if I dont, I will do worst. I was recently tempted to go back to my old life of prostituting. Last time I prostituted was in January. I have tried really hard, praying to God, reading my bible, church, etc. But I have like five addictions and I cannot cut them all cold turkey. It's too hard and its driving me crazy. I decided it's between me and God, and as long as I keep trying to keep my heart open to him, he will help me.
I have met alot of "christians" that are virgins or dont have sex but are addicted to porn. I know for a fact porn is horrible for me. It is better for me to have one person I trust and care about and have sex with him. Because sex was always a selfish thing, not connected, not intimate, etc.
Yes I am sinning, but everyone sins everyday. You tell a lie, you gossip, you lust. Etc.
If this keeps me from going back to my old ways then it's good for the time being. I know I will eventually get sick of it, and want more. But I have more important things to conquer. The fact that why it would be so easy to go back to prositution. I am a poor single mom. I could make a 100 bucks in an hour. Doing something I enjoy. But would be selling my soul for it. Severing my bond with God because of it. It's not worth it anymore.
But I notice when I do have someone I am connected with, I am loyal to just him.
So yea thats where I am in my life right now. I am going to keep going to church, keep talking to God and trying to do the things he wants me to do. But I am sinning, because I am having sex with someone I am not married to.
Wouldn't it be just easier if I could get married tommorrow?
I know my head is flawed, my reasoning is flawed. But I am alot better then I was four or five months ago.
Oh and I am sorry if I offended anyone by posting my story. I know I shouldn't air out my dirty laundry. But I feel if it can help someone realize something then It's good. And if someone judges me. Well thats thier flaw. Because your not sopposed to judge anyone. Thats God's job. Alot of people know my struggles on this site. I have decided to stop asking people what to do. And just go to God with it. IT helps make things easier, and will keep friendships.
In reality alot of people struggle with a bunch of stuff. I'm the only one open, and bold enough to talk about it. Maybe that makes me crazy and vunerable. But I don't care. I like helping people.
