It is so painful for God to give you a desire for something you will never be able to achieve. It is not that I have never met any good women, it is that I do not understand how to start a relationship.
I have been given a lot of advice, much of it conflicting, but I don�t understand the advice. My favorite is what gets passed off as God�s way of finding a wife. The saying is that God will bring you a wife, so don�t worry about it. But, He�s not just going to plop a wife in your lap, so you have to be �proactive� and ask women out. So, basically what it comes down to is this: You beat your head against the wall asking the wrong women out over and over again, being disappointed and breaking your heart over and over again until finally God feels sorry for you and brings you a wife. There is nothing right or wrong that anyone does, it�s all just �up to God� when he feels like bringing her around.
I will never understand what it takes, so I will always be alone.
Proverbs 15:13 (NASB)
13 A joyful heart makes a cheerful face, But when the heart is sad, the spirit is broken.
James 2:15-17 (NASB)
15 If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food,
16 and one of you says to them, "Go in peace, be warmed and be filled," and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that?
17 Even so faith, if it has no works, is dead, being by itself.
Well, I have come to a decision again to say goodbye. Being on the forums has been fun, but every day I am here only reinforces what I have known all along, that I do not understand what it is that I am supposed to do when it comes to dating. I appreciate those of you who have tried to help, but it is difficult to help someone if you don�t understand them.
I don�t wish to be alone, but staying on this site and facing constant confusion and failure is more than my heart can take.
Cobbler, I believe that the Lord will find you a wife, in fact I'm going to say a prayer for you right now.
I can't say how the Lord works, when it comes to finding a wife for a man, or a husband for a woman, his ways are completely mysterious to me.
I believe in some way God shows us how precious finding someone who loves him and who loves you, and you can love in return truly is.
When two people share the same love of the Lord it shows and it binds a relationship strongly.
Perhaps the women you asked for simply didn't love the Lord, and the Lord was in some way protecting you in shutting a door.
I don't think there's anything wrong in trying to find a wife for yourself, I think dating used to be a lot easier back when everyone was from the same town, or the same place, it seems that way, doesn't it. lol.
Cobbler, when I get lonely or tired of waiting, I take what I do have and invest in it. I have family so I spend time with them. I have a few good friends, and I spend time with them. I thank God that I could be in a much worse situation...but that he saw fit to take care of me as he has.
I�ve been blessed with a few good relationships in the past, and they amounted to nothing, but I can�t forget all I�ve learned from them and am thankful for the experience gained.
One thing I know is that God has a plan! :) He is working in every single persons life, and whether discouraged, or whatever emotion you�re experiencing, Jesus can help you see that the things which appear to be thorn bushes actually have some roses, the rain has some rainbows, and the human heart is stronger than we often realize. Don�t put your faith in, your hopes in, or condition your happiness according to the presence of a woman in your life. Everyone may disappoint you� and if God tells you to wait, that its not his time yet to give you somebody, then praise, and be happy for the life you have, for all the things you experienced, and for how much your life can touch and affect others in a positive way.
In your letter, it sounds like you have it backwards. It's not what we want God to do for us, it's all about what God wants us to do for him. Then, you will receive God's Blessings you ask in him not in our timing but God's Timing.
There are many Churches are preaching the healthy wealthy feel good kind of gospel instead of the real truth. Not sure if your church is like that or not.
See the Lord's Prayer then:
1st. Think back in your life and think of anyone that has done you wrong or hate for some reason. Have you forgiven them for what they have done to you? If so, forgive them in prayer.
Recognizing Our Desperate Need Related to Forgiveness
The last part of Jesus� prayer is centered entirely on the truth about each of us as believers. Jesus recognizes our need for forgiveness and our need to forgive others. And more importantly, Jesus recognizes our natural fallen tendency to slip into sin and the need we have for God�s help in this area. Do your prayers recognize the reality of who you are? The Bible says that we must be honest about our sinful condition if we want our prayers to be heard.
Isaiah 59:1-2
Behold, the LORD'S hand is not so short that it cannot save; nor is His ear so dull that it cannot hear. But your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden His face from you so that He does not hear.
2nd. Recognizing the Holy Nature of God
Notice here that Jesus begins by praising God and recognizing His holiness. He wants God�s will to be accomplished first, even before asking for anything for Himself. Now honestly, are your prayers like this? The Bible tells us that we must put God first if we want our prayers to be heard:
Ezekiel 14:3
Son of man, these men have set up their idols in their hearts and have put right before their faces the stumbling block of their iniquity Should I be consulted by them at all?
John 15:7
If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.
There is more if this don't help
Blessings
Stay in the fight for the Lord
A brother in Christ
And yes, I am waiting on the Lord for the right woman he has in store for me too. I stay in his will not mine, I know he has someone special for me too.
John 3:21-22:
"21 Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God. 22 And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight." (KJV)
in I John 5:3:
"3For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous." (KJV)
Sorry about your sorrow, Cobbler. I don't have any answers like a "Job's" advisor. I'm waiting too, after two divorces and a rough time of that.
I've prayed, given it to the Lord a lot and have settled for singleness for the long haul and staying busy.
Maybe you will find her when you least expect...that's what people tell me...so, okay. :purpleangel:
I accept whatever and want to say you have been a welcomed presence in the forums and I would recommend you and gentleman and blessing to your future wife. God Speed my brother. Yeshua is our everything and home to go to. Selah~:waving: joey
That's why you have to open up and talk about it. As Mary Southerland said, "We not only need God in the midst of the storm, we need each other. You know what? I fail so many times I know you don't have to be perfect in order to get God's ear... at least in my life. Here's another quotation from Mary that I really like:
"Celebrate the storm that dashed your battered life on the shores of His unyielding love and let Him give you the strength to stand firm."
Can't you folks see that it is exactly these sorts of answers that are causing Cobbler to feel such frustration? I know you all mean well, but...
We all know the "right" answers. We've heard them a hundred times. We've received that advice ourselves, and given it to others over and over. But when we are actually going through a rough time, those answers are NOT what we need or want to hear. I know that when I'm dealing with similar things myself, I need someone to listen to me when I feel like talking, pray for me and with me if I don't feel like talking, even cry with me if needed, and not try to offer any solutions.
Cobbler, I'm praying for you. I hope you'll come back when you're ready.
