Author	Thread: ouch
tristan07 View Profile History	ouch Posted : 15 Oct, 2008 09:57 PM The words indicated in Bold are censored from the CDFF Forum: Ouch,I signed up on this website on a fluke. I typed in *free christian dating* in google, and low and behold... I have been married for 8 years. It has been a struggle. I was unequally yoked. For reasons of privacy, I cannot devulge alot of details on a website that you can access this easily, but put it this way, My wife left me because I loved her too much. No that doesnt mean I was over possessive or anything dumb like that. I loved her with God's love and she said that everytime i would do things for her, or tell her how much i love her, it would make her feel guilty because she couldnt return that love. so she left me. So I came to the realization that ok, sure I am a christian, and I approached my marriage from a christian point of view, and I made vows before God, but that didnt entitle me to God fixing my wife. I prayed for years to see this woman change and know christ. Ladies, listen to me. I was a total romantic, I brought her flowers all the time, i rubbed her feet, her kneck, her back all the time. I gave her a castle, I doted on her, I paid attention whenever she talked to me (ever had a guy do that???) I would bursh her hair for her, run baths for her, all of this. consistently. and every single night I would pray with her. EVERY single night. I would share what I was learning about God, I encouraged her, I did everything a human can do. it failed, she left. So now I have the remnants of a marriage, a huge house, my business, my beautiful kids, but no wife. I am hollow. I know I should not be looking for anyone to fill that hole right now. I am about the most sensible and realistic person you could meet. I guess I am just shell shocked. I figured, hey why not throw up a profile, be honest, and see if I even get a response. I used to know what my life would be like in a day, a month, a year. Now I am broken and hurt. Why would this happen to me? I am not trying to paint myself as a martyr or a saint, lord knows we all have our faults, but I am 36 now, I have grown up, I know how to Love and I know how to handle my inadequecies. You can read the diatribe I wrote about marriage in the adice forum. I seriously do that... err did that. err tried. I thought she was a believer, she wasnt. oh who knows who is and who isnt. judge a tree by its fruit, there is nothing but bad fruit. Anyway, I see alot of us on here are divorced. why does this stuff happen to christians? We have EVERYTHING we need for life and godliness. I guess down the road, I just want to have a woman who will appreciate me for the things Christ has done in me, is doing in me, and is doing through me. I am *that guy* - the one who sticks out in the crowd. The leader, the one you can trust and the one who you go to for advice. I am that person to my kids, my freinds, my family, my employees, etc How did my marriage fail? is it worth trying again? It has to be. I am made to love. I loved for years and got nothing in return, and loved more because of it. This is not some sappy poor pitty me attempt at attention. I have 5 kids, I have all the attention I need. I guess it's midnight, I finally got custody of my kids, they are finally back with me, but my life feels... hollow... in part. I am satisfied with jesus. I am totaly devoted to God. my vertical needs are met. I miss my help mate... the one I never really had, but prayed for, hoped for, and lost. - alex Post Reply
View Profile History	ouch Posted : 16 Oct, 2008 07:22 PM You truly are a sweetheart and would make any Christ centered woman happy. Don't get bitter. Know that there are women who are Godly just waiting for someone like you!..mmm...mmm...You know I have a wonderful daughter...kidding..but I really do! LoL...She's 25...mmm...oh well...Keep your chin up...You can't make your partner serve God...It's a free choice. Just go into your next relationship with your eyes open. Post Reply
View Profile History	ouch Posted : 16 Oct, 2008 07:22 PM You truly are a sweetheart and would make any Christ centered woman happy. Don't get bitter. Know that there are women who are Godly just waiting for someone like you!..mmm...mmm...You know I have a wonderful daughter...kidding..but I really do! LoL...She's 25...mmm...oh well...Keep your chin up...You can't make your partner serve God...It's a free choice. Just go into your next relationship with your eyes open. Post Reply
View Profile History	ouch Posted : 8 Nov, 2008 04:56 PM I told my wife I loved her evry day for over 15 years. That's in excess of 6000-7000 times I told her. It wasn't to set a record or anything. I made a point to tell her because I meant it and she left because she didn't feel the love. The guy she left me for used to be my friend and he showers her with gifts and attention, the things I could no longer give her since I lost my job and had to start over. I've realized that I spoiled her with material things and a standard of living that she can't do without. I now understand there's a reason someone puts up those signs that say "DON'T FEED THE BEARS". It doesn't matter now I'll move on and let her have the adulteress life that she has chosen. I still pray for her and her fiancee since they both destroyed my family. That's right they're engaged and have been since she left but they'll have to wait untill our divorce is final which I can only hope is soon so I can find the real Mrs. Right for me. Treat your wife like an equal. Don't ever spoil a woman, it's like feeding a bear marshmallows. They'll eat right out of your hand and pretend to be your friend. They might even do tricks for you. Bears don't understand when you run out of marshmallows they get angry and kill you then move on. Any woman that isn't living for Christ will do the same. I'm speaking metaphorically of course. Post Reply
View Profile History	ouch Posted : 10 Nov, 2008 01:31 AM i can never imagine the pain you went through, a love so pure, and deeply given but rejected is so sad. bad times do happen to good people, but whats important is you loved truly and deeply, the best that you can...a mark of a true gentleman, a pure and kind spirit. a man of God. Post Reply
ken321 View Profile History	ouch Posted : 5 Feb, 2009 09:52 PM Dear Alex Its shatter to see such things hapen in our lives.well there are human reasons ,there are spiritual reasons ( skeptical ofcource) and unnown reasons.this will be pritty long wt i am about to say and mite b boraring but do try to read it...this my story..the differance is i am not married yet. In 2007 throught a whole year i had a srong crush for just one girl ( cuting a long story short to get to the point) she was prity and i thought she liked me , so i prayd for her asking the lord wherther she is my soul mate,i tryd hard been close to her as a friend, cherrished may dreams that she will be mine,spoke to her often,she was a roman catholic i cryied i tryied i wrestled with god for her nothng i didnt do,so far i had met her only once through that year, i sused to txt her and finaly at the start of 2008 i maet her again and we wre good buddies but i had something more for her.we went ou for lunch on that day i though i will ask her wat i had in my heart after all this year.i was abou to ask her when she askd me wheher i had a girlfriend or not? so i said no and she asked me whether to find me one? strange thing,here i was waiting to ask her and she was talking something els, so i though this was the moment and said " why you tring to find for me what about you should i try to find some one for you" Guess what she told me after all these years of waiting ?....( to be continued..coz it s very long story)..till then ...blessings.. Post Reply