Thread: The broken heart, the healing wound, the new man.
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The broken heart, the healing wound, the new man.
Posted : 17 Jan, 2011 03:38 PM
Hi, my name is Lane and I fell in love last summer.
I met this girl in my church. She loved music and so did I, and nature, and we had a lot in common. We would spend HOURS on Facebook and on the phone, sharing music, sharing laughs. She would send me those little hearts, smileys, and hugs on Facebook, and she would say (blush!) after half the stuff I said.
She told me how great I was, how I was such a good, strong, amazing knowledgeable person. She told me we were getting close, and we talked about dating eachother. It was pretty much a go.
We spent a couple of nights together alone in her car. The second night, we held eachother for a couple hours and kissed several time. When she held my hand taking me homw that night, I was flying...
But... it all fell apart. Ive been battling drug addiction most of my life. And signs were showing... She pulled away. I dont blame her and im glad she did. It would have been poision for both of us.
Im clean now, but that experience, and the drugs combined with it, landed me in the hospital for 12 days to work out my problems.... SHE DID NOT CALL while I was in the hospital when I thought she was my best friend ever... and that is what really broke my heart.
Truth was she was terrified, after having dealt with an addicte4d boyfriend before... I still can get misty thinking of her... and I cried many nights over her.
But, the whole experience turned my life around. Big time! im clean now, and I realize what my addiction cost me (I was hooked on clonazepam and dexedrine)... in the end I had to smoke pot to cope with the emotional pain...
WHAT WAS WORTH IT was the feeling that I am brand new.. I know she loves me to this day, but she has found a new man and good for her (I love you too Songbird altough youll never read this)! I feel like I experienced this loss to learn... and the lesson was WORTH it. I was the heartbroke one, she prtoected herself...
Good for her, and good for me.... thats how it turned out, despite my pain! not sure why Ityped this, but I did and I hope it helps someone. GOD BLESS !!!!:rocknroll:
Maybe, writing this might have helped you. I think it helps when you write down your feelings. I'm so glad you are clean now! Some lessons in life are hard but it's good we can learn from them. God Bless!!
Like a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear Him. For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust. As for man, his days are as grass: as a flower of the field, so he flourisheth. For the wind passeth over it and it is gone; and the place thereof shall know it no more.
But the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear Him.
Psalm 103:13,14,15,16
I agree with God'sgirl that sharing your experience might have helped you. I also think someone who is going through the same thing you did may read your post and realize things happen for a reason.
Romans 8:28 tells us And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God.
If it isn't God's will for you and songbird to be together that just means He knows the special girl He has for you will be blessed because you've learned so much you can share with her.
She may be praying at this moment for God to bring someone into her life and God's saying John146 is the one I choose to send you. He has many life experiences others haven't had- and when he gets there he'll love you just as I love my church.
God Be with You,
Deborah
Whoever she is she'll be blessed to have someone like you.
Just wanted to add if God wants you and songbird to get back together He will show her.Whichever way it turns out it will be what's in your best interest if you just give it all to the Lord. God Knows and Wants to give us all our heart's desire.
Thanks for sharing your painful journey, Lane. It is very hard to own out own baggage and you have the humility to do that. I think you have conquered man's biggest problem and that is pride.
Too many people have been snared by not reaching out and isolating in a time of need. God bless you.
I'm sorry you had to go through this as I am an ex-wife of an addict and I even remarried him, but he went back over and over, again. It was making me literally sick, but he did not seek the Lord and still does not, although he is clean and living in another state.
God is close to the broken-hearted and hears our cries. Stay close to Him and in fellowship with other Christians. I can tell by your profile that you are pretty knowledgeable, so you already know that. Let your music be an outlet for expression, too.
