Author	Thread: Wondering
Admin	Wondering Posted : 20 Dec, 2010 07:43 PM You meet someone special. You have some wonderful phone conversations, some great dates. He tells you that he really likes you. He is a perfect gentleman. He tells you he wants to capture your heart the last time you talk and then you never hear from him again?? Any thoughts?? Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Wondering Posted : 20 Dec, 2010 09:30 PM Um, he's a jerk? That's all I have been able to figure when I'm having great conversations with some guy, then he just disappears. Of course, most of the conversations that I have never get as far as the phone, but the same thing happens...the IMs stop, the emails stop, he quits logging on, he never contacts me in any way again, etc. Yep. All I can figure is that he's a jerk. Don't waste your time thinking about him. As harsh as it sounds (and as hard as it is to do), it really is better to just move on. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Wondering Posted : 20 Dec, 2010 09:40 PM I'm sorry. That was a lot harsher of an answer than I intended to give. I wish this site had a "delete" or "edit" button! You just really hit a nerve with your post, because you essentially described the end of my one and only relationship. Everything was going great. Lots of great conversations, lots of great dates, great times with his family and my family, great phone calls, great email exchanges, great plans for the future, great promises on both our parts, great, great, great... But apparently not great enough. Out of the blue, he said it "wasn't working" for him. That's the last time I saw him and the last time I heard from him. A clean break, for sure. I guess it's better that way than had he dragged it out and made it even more painful for longer. I have realized over the past 8 or 9 months since it ended that he really wasn't/isn't worth all the emotional angst. He turned out to be a jerk, and better that I found it out then than after we were engaged or even worse, married. And yes, other guys have done the same thing, but it was FAR earlier in the communication process and didn't bother me nearly as much. Post Reply
View Profile History	Wondering Posted : 20 Dec, 2010 10:49 PM He's telling you what you want to hear so you'll go out with him, then gets tired of feeling like he can't be himself and splits. Possibly. Just lacks depth in general if that's the case. Or he realizes your not right for each other and doesn't know how to say it. Post Reply
View Profile History	Wondering Posted : 20 Dec, 2010 11:54 PM BC. It wasn't harsh and I'm sorry you were hurt. I'm disappointed but truthfully it's more that it bugs me that I don't know what happened. I think when you are in your 40s, you should be able to tell a person, sorry don't want to see you anymore or something instead of nothing! Brandon, you are probably right and thank you for your input. It's nice to have a guy's perspective. Post Reply
View Profile History	Wondering Posted : 20 Dec, 2010 11:56 PM People lie to others, but worst of all they lie to themselves. He may have just realized that he could not continue lying. It�s a �dog eared� clich�, but a true one: �Guard your Heart!� Enjoy their company�take what they say as true, but under no circumstance �let loose the wings of Love� until a sufficient amount of Time has passed! You may have been number two or even number three on his list and number two may have �opened� up and�well�he just �dropped� you. Time is the only (let me REPEAT that)�Time is The Only True Barometer of a person�s Veracity. If after six months they are still saying the same things�that is an excellent indicator that they may be saying The Truth. If after a year�chances are through the roof. So�my advice is�keep the tarp on Love�until at least the first year anniversary. If they truly Love you�they�ll still be there and if they are��Let Fly The WINGS of LOVE!!� Of course this is so easy to say. Me�my Love is strong enough to break any chain ever fashioned by man and when it is loose�Look OUT! So�do as I say�not as I Fly! Post Reply
View Profile History	Wondering Posted : 21 Dec, 2010 05:30 AM Maybe he meant every word and then died the next day:excited: Post Reply
View Profile History	Wondering Posted : 21 Dec, 2010 05:55 AM Steve, You always have good sound advice. Thanks!! The whole thing with me is that I'm a very considerate person and I don't like someone just telling me lines and then dropping me. I think it is just common courteousy to just tell someone. We aren't in high school anymore. This is what bothers me!!! Yeah, Deborah!! LOL!! Post Reply
View Profile History	Wondering Posted : 21 Dec, 2010 06:14 AM I would rather hear the honest truth, then to be told something �nice� so as to try and not hurt my feelings. Not knowing the truth hurts me more than anything else. It really doesn�t matter why they don�t want to continue the relationship. If there are things about me they don�t like that I am not willing to change, then I�m fine with that. As long as we give each other a chance, that is all that matters. But when it is over, you let each other know. Post Reply
View Profile History	Wondering Posted : 21 Dec, 2010 09:37 AM That's exactly how I feel Cobbler!! Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Wondering Posted : 21 Dec, 2010 05:13 PM Yeah, at least I can be grateful that my ex-boyfriend did tell me that it wasn't working. He wasn't able to tell me WHY it wasn't working, but he didn't just disappear. Post Reply

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