Author	Thread: Recovering from an affair?
hedgedweller View Profile History	Recovering from an affair? Posted : 22 Jul, 2008 06:27 PM Is it harder for a man or for a woman to recover from an affair? ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Why ??? ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Post Reply
View Profile History	Recovering from an affair? Posted : 22 Jul, 2008 07:54 PM I'm not an expert on this since I never attempted this situation but do you ever really recover? I feel there is bitterness on both parts. My deceased husband's first wife just about destroyed him when she ran off with his best friend while in seminary. His plans for the missions field were crushed as well as he. Alot of people say that I saved him but we all know who really did that...I guess what I'm trying to say is that every once in a while that old bitterness would creep into something and he had to come to terms with it... I really don't think it matters if its a male or female. A broken heart is a broken heart and only God can truely fix that... Once the trust factor is broken it truely is a battle to overcome. strawberi50 Post Reply
Deborahe View Profile History	Recovering from an affair? Posted : 26 Jul, 2008 12:35 PM I'm not sure! My ex had many; I remained faithful. From a personal point of view, I'd say the woman. After our divorce it took several years for me to even consider having a new relationship; he, on the other hand, had a new girlfriend within months. Betrayal in any form can be devastating! There are probably men who walked the same road I did, and they may answer; the man. What do the Experts say? God Bless, Deborah Post Reply
SJC1985 View Profile History	Recovering from an affair? Posted : 28 Jul, 2008 07:22 PM I believe that it would depend on how long you had been married and how much love the husband and wife had for each other. I loved my ex. so much that I worked 8 long years to try to help him with his porn. addiction. The Christian counseling that we both went to included a book, False Intimacy. It stressed how the porn. addiction is progressive. Since I knew that my ex. was not trying to repent of this sin and that he had at least 2 affairs in the end, it did not take me long to get over him. In my mind, his affairs began after we had been married 2 years; so, I went through the grieving process for 8 long years. "If the tables had been turned", I don't think that my ex. loved me enough to help me very long. KEEPING GOD IN THE CENTER OF THE MARRIAGE IS THE KEY TO A LASTING PURE RELATIONSHIP! GOD CAN GIVE BOTH HUSBAND AND WIFE ENOUGH LOVE FOR EACH OTHER, BUT BOTH HAVE TO WANT THIS GREAT AMOUNT OF LOVE. :glow: Post Reply
SJC1985 View Profile History	Recovering from an affair? Posted : 10 Aug, 2008 06:08 PM Hedgedweller, What do you think? We'd like to know how you feel about this. Love in Christ, SJC1985 :glow: Post Reply
kidvid711 View Profile History	Recovering from an affair? Posted : 4 Sep, 2008 03:51 PM I think its hard because my mother is sad and doesn't have any friends. Staying single the rest of the way. Doesn't bother me much either. I been single for 25 years. :laugh: We get hurt both way right? Follow the heart, follow the mind. Faith requires both heart and mind. Sin as well. Most desires from the heart are sinful desires anyway which leads to the mind. Or is it from the mind to the heart. I try not to let many things effect the heart. I keep away from most things that I think might go against the bible. Post Reply
View Profile History	Recovering from an affair? Posted : 19 Sep, 2008 09:51 PM I was also in a relationship where my ex was addicted to porn. We were married for almost 30 years. The addiction started not long after our marriage but, itr was not real bad at the time I could handle it but the last 8 years it was bad. that is all he ever wanted to do is stay on the putor and look at porn. he had about 30 sites saved as favorites the past year. I was sick the first 6 months of this year with a bad infection from surgery. So where did the porn led him to but, he found another woman if I can call her that I don't think a person who has an affair with a married man is much of a woman. she knew he was married. So in the end he left me for her. I hurt so bad if I think about it. But I have to look at it through Gods eyes. I know I can handle it through Christ who strengthens me. God is the only way I've made it so far. Post Reply
tristan07 View Profile History	Recovering from an affair? Posted : 16 Oct, 2008 06:11 PM My spouses afair hurt her more then it hurt me. Yes, it tore my heart out and it took me a long time to deal with it, but to be honest, the disappointment i felt, the hurt, was not self imposed. Her guilt was. Guilt is something you cannot escape. I would never, ever cheat, if for no other reason then I can only imagine the guilt would be unescapable. You either have to harden your heart to it, or face God and deal with it at the cross, or let it tear you a apart inside. she let it tear her apart, then finally hardened her heart to the guilt, which allowed her to pursue and entertain the idea of other extramarital affairs. meanwhile, here I am past it all, having given it to the lord and let him heal me from the pain, and she was still being eaten up. It was so amazing to see her just implode from the guilt. she actually would blame me for not lashing out at her for it, it was the oddest thing to see. If she had just turned to the lord and sought forgiveness, our marriage would have turned out fine. But she continued to feed her adulterous heart and desires, her feelings for me faded and disappeared, my love became a slap in the face, and she gave up. people please, never throw away a life time of commitment and love for a few moments of worthless pleasure. My marriage died the minute she crossed the line, it just took almost 2 years to go through the death throes and finally collapse. Post Reply