Author	Thread: Opposite Sex Friends
Admin	Opposite Sex Friends Posted : 3 Jul, 2010 02:25 PM Should Their be boundaries where opposite sex friends are concerned, to keep the enemy from getting a foothold in a couples relationship or not? And if so what should they consist of? I agree with Christian Psychologist Kevin Leman`s perspective boundaries. He has just two. 1) The opposite sex friends you were involved with dated/ were engaged too, or were intimate with in any form. Those opposite sex friends need to go. No contact with them. Unless they are the parent of a child in your current situation. And then only contact concerning the children. 2) Opposite sex friends you have never dated or been intimate with you can keep. But there needs to be boundaries their too. They are not allowed to call you or hang out with you without your significant other with you. And you NEVER confide in them about anything concerning your relationship with your mate EVER. I have found this to be a very hot topic with single/divorce,widowed Christian women. They rarely see it as a relationship protection and respect issue. They almost always view it as a control issue, which it is not intended for. I have not gotten a mans perspective yet on it. Almost all (93%) Christian couples I talked to about this issue agreed with the boundaries totally. I welcome everyone's viewpoints on this interesting subject. Post Reply
View Profile History	Opposite Sex Friends Posted : 3 Jul, 2010 05:47 PM I understand the 2 reasons stated, but I don't agree that cutting former 'anything' is necessary. It takes the maturity of all parties. If everyone respects the relationship and isn't playin' games, healthy associations can be maintained. Post Reply
View Profile History	Opposite Sex Friends Posted : 5 Jul, 2010 11:44 PM Thank you for your input. I figure their are those that feel the way you do, and I respect your viewpoint. I am sure that if the respect and maturity levels existed in the relationship to a very high degree, then your viewpoint would stand to reason. But for most people that come from cheated on backgrounds, that degree of trust and maturity could take years to develop into. It is my experience through interviewing these people that the people they become involved with lack the willingness to work through the persons trust issues over any seemingly long period of time. And in some cases it takes a long, long time to trust others, no matter how fruitful their partners Christian walk may seem to look like. Because some wolves in sheep`s clothing are very convincing in the short term 3 months to 2 years), but over the long haul (usually over 2years) their true colors do eventually show, if they are wolves. Post Reply
View Profile History	Opposite Sex Friends Posted : 6 Jul, 2010 12:29 AM I WILL NOT be replying to this post after it goes off my profile. I am not much of a blogger. And I do not want to wade through all the blogs to find mine after it goes off my profile. I will leave it up to you all to decide weather it keeps going, or e-mail me if you really want me to respond. THANKS Post Reply
dionelt View Profile History	Opposite Sex Friends Posted : 15 Jul, 2010 04:36 PM I understand the opinions. But I cannot do the first. We work with youth together. Fortunately we were wise and kept strict boundaries during our relationship that went no further than holding hand and a head on a shoulder. With this we are able to work and still be friends. Things will be different when one of us starts dating though as to not be inconsiderate to the others date. I also agree with not sharing with an opposite sex friend about your relationship. This mainly causes an emotional affair. Post Reply