I have been playing an MMO game called Guild Wars about 18 months and I knew about a possibility for a romance in the game. Yet I never experience heartbreak like this...
Half way through the game, I was strolling around town checking things out, where someone was PMing to why that I was not in a guild and wanted to know why... I told this person that I wanted to see how far I can go without being in a guild. So this person asked if I wanted to be in this persons' guild... it was a woman. So I joined and she helped me open up an area.
(Yes, this person is a woman... she sent me her picture. forgot to save it)
After I joined the guild a week later... she asked to head to the guild hall for a get together (she was the guild leader). We talked a bit and I revealed my real name (she revealed her real name when we met in the beginning). To my surprise, my real name was very sentimental to her... so we continued talking for a while and she realized how kind and nice I was. This continued for months.... exchanged emails later.
There were interesting events as anyone playing MMOs knows so I won't get into details here... The turning point came sometime about November of 2009 where I need to practice for a Christmas concert with my jazz band and I could not play the game for weeks. Therefore I sent her am email saying that I will be away for a while.... however, I got an email from her saying she kicked me out of the guild because she JUST got my email. (See, she claims that she has issues when she send her emails that she does not know anyone receives it or not...) I couldn't get angry at that but I was trying to concentrate on my gig but during that time my feeling grew more and that I really wanted to protect her and take care of her.... but I also knew she lives on the other side of the continent.
When I finally got back on to the game... it took me a day to track her down. I got back on to the guild and trying to pick up the pieces. A day later, she told me that she felt guilty about kicking me out of the guild and I confessed my feeling to her... I knew that it will take some time to get to know each other but I did not want to rush into things.
Some time in the new year, I kept in touch with a person I met in the same game before she was kicked off the guild. I just recently she recently this person told me that the guild leader (the girl) and a member of the guild were actually dating... My friend mentioned if I knew about it... I have no idea. My friend thought I knew for a while ...
When I heard the news, I was floored, I cried, I was beside myself... I couldn't play the game for the next four days and contacted my pastor. Before I met my pastor, I was trying to think what to do, prayed really hard and long... trying to determine why the guild leader did not tell me about it. When I finally met my pastor, she mentioned what are my plans to deal with it.... I thought long and hard and I decided to do this:
- Leave my guild and not play for a while until I get my head cleared. I have thought of every possibility what to do and the outcome... also to see that if she cares. She would email me.
My pastor said it seems the right way to do things and in a Godly matter...
Therefore I left my guild a couple a days ago without anyone knowing... What is crazy about it... The guild leader, never belittled me, never been angry with me not mad at me during my winter blahs moment... Still I don't know the whole story of whether she is dating another guild member is true or not or it was short.
She is a Christian woman but claims to lazy of going to church ( I have been through that road before sometime in the 90' where I concentrated on the game more than my surroundings). I really don't know if she was leading me on or never really thought about it. Overall, to me...it hurts.
I know at a point I will have to confront her and ask her about it to get some closure, but I really don't know if I can deal with the outcome. If it true, then I'll keep crying... if it not, then I feel like a heel and could not face her.
All I can do now is keep praying and ask God to guard my heart for this trial and to give me peace...
Guild Wars! Hey, dude...I think this a bit of a unique problem...which may be why no one is offering their take on the issue. I've loved people I've never seen, so I kinda know what you're talking about, but I've never had to distance myself from any of them so I can't really empathize much. I guess the only thing I can say is don't give up, you may need to move on...but maybe think of it as an experience instead of a trial...and don't give up on Guild Wars! Guild Wars 2 is coming! I actually haven't been playing much either though...need to get to work and finish some titles...
This is an update... I finally went back on Guild Wars and the news was not the way I felt any better... All in all, I felt good in what happened and met someone here in CDFF.
From what I learned from all of this... God is in control in what happened and maybe that this person that was in Guild Wars was not the one for me and learn that I should learn more about HIM.
Will I still play? Not as much as I used to but it gives me hope that God has placed a special person in my life and I don't want to change it
