Being that I am a very nice person, I need to stand-up and SHOUT the above statement!
Why?
Because now that I am my "Middies", I realize it is time to stop being overly understanding to the MEANIES by saying they are hurt.
NO! NO! NO!
They are MEANIES!
They CHOOSE it!
It empowers them over the nice people!
IT scares us! We remember "hurt people, hurt people" And it hurts us but we choose to forgive, give the benefit of the doubt, make excuses, enable some more, and stay in relationships way too long.
Why do we do it?
Because we are the nice people and they are the predators. Bottom line it is true!
So it is time to :stop: :stop: :stop: being co-dependent or a victim of the meanies.
TRUTH: Truly hurt people do everything in their power to avoid hurting others because they have been there, and know how it feels. :angel:
Touche', SusieQ and may the peace of the LORD be with us as we diverse our opinions.
How do 'meanies' become mean? Were they born that way? no, at the root of 'meanies' is hurt. It's the reason I said, 'hurting people hurt people'. What I didn't say was that we should allow them to hurt us or give them priority over our own feelings.
Being followers of our LORD & Savior, we should search out what's hurting them and counsel them in a loving manner and edify them to bring them out of their pit of despair.
In our busy world, we seldom take the time to do this for those who have lived in this rut for such a long period of time.
I'm with you in regards to protection our hearts but I feel we should reach out more to help those who are 'meanies'.
actually, some personality types are more inclined to be meanies.
Sometimes they are extreme A+, and sometimes they are called Cholerics the steamrollers,
Sanguines are usually only mean out of thoughtless, self pre-occupation,
Melancholies are mean after being severely hurt but they usually prefer depression and self-depreciation;
Phlegmatics are good at ignoring, severe cold shoulder or waiting for somebody to reap what is sown.
I pay attention to this basic information to be understanding and compassionate!
There is genetic coding involved here! :nahnah: :angel:
Sometimes, it is like the dog with the thorn in it's paw, which is growling and snapping from pain. For sure, it takes some canjoling but with patience, comfort, and love; you can help. Certainly, worth it too; because you end up with a fierce, friend for life!
I AM TALKING MEANIES!
Yes, indeed look to the root, if they will acknowledge they are meanies. Most of the time, I find them to just believe themselves to be effective, successful, like hit and run drivers are far past the carnage they have inflicted. If they do notice they have hurt others, they blame the person for being weak, ineffective, slow, etc...
What is that famous saying ... oh yeah, They add insults to injuries!
I really liked your post in " hurt people hurt people".
I am such a friend, Too. I have been blessed with such friends. PRAISE the LORD!!!
As such, I just wanted to shout at this point in my life journey,
"MEAN PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE"
Some of them are addicted to the power over others. They are bullies. They derive pleasure and feel superior. They embarrass others publically through humor, fault finding and humiliation. They love it! They aren't hurt! They are meanies!
Not all hurts are from "meanies" but these are "wolves" quite often in people's clothing.
I see where you're coming from in the personality arena but take a look at the young boy who laid under his grandmother for 24 hrs after his drug dealing father shot & killed the whole family. he was deprived of personality development because of this and to this day remains a 'meanie'. No government agency or group could none other than give him medications to deal with the truma this young boy was dealt.
I agree with you for the most part that those who have been lucky or blessed enough to allow their personality to develop are in better places.
SO, I ask, do enviroment conditions affect your personality development?:nahnah::angeldevil:
You are blessed in being able to just SHOUT out to the meanines for many, it's not enough. GOD bless you SusieQ; you're a doll of the LORD.
So, is it the genetic vs the environment discussion? I say, "no!"
It is choice! And more often then not "VOWS, of the will"
Other people have terrible things happen, creating deep hurts, emotional injuries, faulty thought processes, but they aren't meanies.
I am not speaking of the denomically possessed either; violent people like the one in Bible from the tombs or present day mental institutes and jails. These people have a recorded history of anti-social behavior and know. I believe the guy in the tombs is an example of one faith. To have overcome a legion of demons w/in himself and seekout Jesus. What a battle, what perserverance, what deliverance, and what a victory!
Most people can spot these types of problem: just like the injuried dog snarling and snapping; and make appropriate decisions.
The pharisees were the meanies! They weren't coming from a place of hurt but of power, position, success, and authority.
I, like Susan, KNOW it is a choice! And, I might add, a lack of responsibilty. We are responsible for the chioces we make. If you choose and refuse to get the help you so desperately need,You are responsible, and mean. It is self-defeating to not ask for the help we need. It keeps us stuck! As a result, if you do not change the INSIDE, you will eventually take a line of hearts down with you. They accuse and hold malice for whatever was done to them, and somehow feel entitled to hurt. Those that paint a perfect picture but are miserable on the inside are the meanest in my estimation. They wish to be accepted and no matter how they have to do it, they will. These are the most dangerous, as the Pharasies, for on the outside they look fine, and say all the correct things and keep the law, but on the inside, as Our Lord said, they are full of dead mans bones. I know many many people who have been hurt almost beyond repair, and they inspire me. They have chosen to go on and change the things that evil has done and turn it to good. But we are not to allow ourselves to be used of people who feel the need to be mean or hurtful. We are to use the gifts the Lord has given us and pray pray pray to have wisdom. Have you ever had a friend who youonly knew perhaps by phone or the computer or just saw at church and thought was so wonderful? Then, you sstarted to be in their company more and they turned out to be nothing like you thought? These are the ones who we must learn not to be taken in by! The meansest of all!
:applause:AMEN And YES! Now, I shall copy this and post it in my office and read it daily, as we all should and keep our minds and hearts alert to these deceptive meanines! Good job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Girls, Girls, Girls. Don't you think you're adding a fear for no reason? If we have choices and we all do, then be receptive of the meanies is saying we choose to allow them to hurt us. It's not like we are defenseless in our approaching them. Would JESUS have said, " I can't heal you cause you're a meanie". No, HIS compassion and knowledge would have compelled more to bring that person to a healing state. SO, we to, need to be more like JESUS in bringing those who are 'meanies' to a state of showing love and awareness of the pain they may be causing. In HIS PRECIOUS NAME.
