Author	Thread: Suggestions for dealing with holiday-related social events?
bcpianogal View Profile History	Suggestions for dealing with holiday-related social events? Posted : 23 Nov, 2009 07:11 AM OK, I just sent in my first RSVP of the season for a Christmas Banquet where I teach. The invitation said: "You and your family or a guest are invited to attend..." The "number attending" on the RSVP form I sent in: 1. (I don't think they would take too kindly to my mom and sisters attending with me!) This event isn't mandatory, but attendance is very strongly encouraged. And I'm 99% sure that I'll be the only single person at this event. So, what do you all do to deal with events like this? Does it not bother you at all? Do you just go and enjoy the food and pretend that you don't care that you are alone? Do you avoid events? What other strategies do you have? Here are a few things I do: 1) I only go to those events that I have to go to, 2) while I'm at the event, I smile and act like I'm enjoying it so that I don't dampen the festive mood, 3) if a family with kids is in attendance (depends on the event, of course), I sit with that family and entertain the kids so the parent can enjoy their evening, 4) I sit with an older couple or with a couple who is new to the community. Post Reply
View Profile History	Suggestions for dealing with holiday-related social events? Posted : 23 Nov, 2009 10:03 PM dear bc, im not sure as this is the first time im goin to thanksgiving family gatherin alone.. theyve been after me to sing for em so maybe ill do that and get the joy of the LORD shinin and wont pay it no mind .. hopefully hehe ole cattle Post Reply
View Profile History	Suggestions for dealing with holiday-related social events? Posted : 23 Nov, 2009 10:21 PM miss bc, this thanksgiving i'll be the 3rd wheel with a couple and their kids who i've been staying with at their small family gathering, and sober to boot! i expect i'll be foolin around with the kids mostly and watching others get silly on the wine for a change, should be interesting.:buddies: Post Reply
Tarasye View Profile History	Suggestions for dealing with holiday-related social events? Posted : 24 Nov, 2009 04:44 AM Somehow being home alone and working on my home renovations doesn't sound so bad! lol At least my dog is good company! Tarasye Post Reply
Linnie41 View Profile History	Suggestions for dealing with holiday-related social events? Posted : 1 Dec, 2009 01:09 AM Honey, seriously - know that there are people at this event that will be in envy of your singleness. Sad, but true. Being "with" someone doesn't mean you're complete. Being complete is all in your heart. And if you have God, you've got it ALL!! Mingle...chat...have FUN!! Who knows- maybe someone will get to know you a little, and think - "She would get along really well with *insert name here.* In any case, enjoy yourself. Don't worry about what others are probably not thinking in the first place. (And incidentally, I took my 21 year old daughter to my 25 year class reunion - we had a BLAST!!) Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Suggestions for dealing with holiday-related social events? Posted : 1 Dec, 2009 07:05 AM Linnie, I hadn't thought about the fact that these things might be a way for people to see me as a person to introduce "so-and-so" to...intriguing idea! And I know that NO ONE thinks anything about me being single and by myself. That is more just me wishing that I had someone special with whom to share those events. It turns out that I'll have TWO cute guys to sit with and talk to the night of this particular banquet...one is 8 years old and the other is 11 years old, and they both think I'm just awesome!!! :applause: At least the evening won't get boring! Post Reply
View Profile History	Suggestions for dealing with holiday-related social events? Posted : 1 Dec, 2009 10:01 AM dear bc, awww now we all think you are awesome already ... ole cattle Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Suggestions for dealing with holiday-related social events? Posted : 1 Dec, 2009 11:33 AM Thanks Ol Cattle! These two little guys think that Miss Beth (me) is the coolest babysitter ever...I've babysat for them since they were 1 and 4. (Their mom was one of my college professors, and now she's my co-worker...that's why they will be at the banquet.) I'll learn all about bionicles, transformers, monster trucks, and Star Wars, but it'll be great fun! I just love those kids! Post Reply
View Profile History	Suggestions for dealing with holiday-related social events? Posted : 1 Dec, 2009 12:54 PM dear bc, well now miss beth i think thats way cool.. ole cattle Post Reply
View Profile History	Suggestions for dealing with holiday-related social events? Posted : 1 Dec, 2009 01:38 PM I feel your pain BC but I spent 27 years in a marriage alone, if you know what I mean? I went to everything alone and with my kids so it comes pretty natural to me and I just mingle and talk to people. Linnie is right on, many couples are extremely unhappy and you would never know it. I choose to wait for the one that I am compatible with no matter how lonely I get, it is worth it, I feel. OT anyway~lol. Glad you have those two cute boys to hang with. :laugh: Post Reply
View Profile History	Suggestions for dealing with holiday-related social events? Posted : 1 Dec, 2009 04:53 PM secret weapon for when i feel crushed or ackward by lonliness: the pleasantly surprised smile. I don't know why, but it works. It generates alot of other things to be open to noticing, other than than the fact that you aren't with anybody. Sometimes it turns into a knowing smile and people's reaction to either is either 'what is it about this person?' and/or 'what is it about me?' Of course be genuine and natural in your demeanor, but at those times when you're not really feeling anything in particular and the crushed/ackward feeling starts to take hold use it as your default. Also your reactions and interactions are more positive and enjoyable and you leave that person with a good impression that will only lead to good things. sooo, yeah... take it or leave it! :Mug: Post Reply

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