Author	Thread: Infidelity Tragedy
Admin	Infidelity Tragedy Posted : 18 Nov, 2009 07:07 PM To make a long story short, My 18 year old girlfriend and I were dating six months. Everything was perfect....I mean not one major argument or anything. I took her down to Tennessee to do something nice for her. The night we got back, she proposed to me (I wasnt ready for such a commitment, but I told her" yes if we have a long engagement" in fear I would push her away). Two days later, I find out she has been cheating on me with a 33 year old for a month (her grandmother came out and told me)! This definitely caught me by surprise, like I said, no fights, we seemed to have a lot in common, and we both were discussing future. I mean even the last day of seeing each other she acted like she always did with the "I love you" 's and everything. Then, out of the blue, her and her boyfriend leave a nasty sexual voicemail on my cellphone to "get revenge" on me because her grandmother wanted to keep in contact with me. I did find out that she is bipolar and is also a compulsive liar which is why she practically told me everything I wanted to hear in the relationship....now, can it get any worse? Post Reply
View Profile History	Infidelity Tragedy Posted : 18 Nov, 2009 08:11 PM dear red, welcome to the forums.. that was kinda rough.. now just forgive them and move on.. is for the best.. ole cattle Post Reply
View Profile History	Infidelity Tragedy Posted : 18 Nov, 2009 08:31 PM Tony, I just read your post. You probably are still feeling the after effects of something like that. I can not imagine what is going through your head and heart and soul right now. Caring for someone on a personal, intimate level entails "opening the fortress gates" and leaving yourself vulnerable, unshielded from pain. There is no way around that my Brother. Dropping your defenses and exposing your soft underbelly is part and parcell of a relationship. It could have been worst, Tony -- there could have been children involved. Go feel the pain -- don't mask it or deny it. Let yourself react to it. Cry if need be. Stay away from anything that will interfere with the process God gave us to deal with things like this. What I mean is alcohol or drugs. They have no place here and now. When you've exhausted your tears and emotions. When the "negative" has dissipated. Wash your face, refresh yourself and then sit with a man that could tell you about pain and suffering. Sit down and ask Jesus to sit with you. Meditate on what happened. DO NOT Blame yourself. The line is long in front of you of those that have been where you are now. Sit in Jesus' lap like a child in His Father's Lap and be still and be healed. Something like this will leave a scar. Consider this scar the scar of a vacination. I believe you will learn from this and be a better person for it. Tony, seek the comfort of good friends. The counsel of a Man of God and listen to what he has to say or if their is a woman that you would be comfortable talking to, then do so. This is not a time for being alone. The dark one loves to attack when we are weak and down in spirit. Again my Brother, my heart goes out to you and my prayers too. Hold your head up HIGH! You are not one of them. Their childish immaturity only stings for a little bit and they Are The Ones that really need your prayers. Thank you for allowing us to share your pain Tony. Let The Flock surround you and be comforted by the knowledge that you are loved. Peace Be With You Post Reply
View Profile History	Infidelity Tragedy Posted : 19 Nov, 2009 02:53 PM So sorry for your pain~~ouch~:( I know that kind of betrayal and can testify that only Jesus can comfort you deep within but it is good that you are sharing your pain here, too. Good brother like Cattleman and Arch are great to talk to and have given Godly wisdom Arch, have you ever done counseling? You would be great at it. One of my favs~C.S. Lewis said it like this: �To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.� Post Reply
View Profile History	Infidelity Tragedy Posted : 19 Nov, 2009 07:37 PM Thank you all for your help, It's been a long 6 weeks, and the pain doesn't seem like its going away, i'm trying to hold on and wait for something better, but I can't understand God's timeframe and I keep praying that someone that is worthy of me comes along, but no one in sight....I am ready for a real, committed relationship and I wish there is someway to make this go faster... Post Reply
View Profile History	Infidelity Tragedy Posted : 28 Nov, 2009 09:02 AM I have learned from past experiences that you really have to guard your heart even when dating somebody for six months...you have to give people time to prove themselves and there intentions...everything always comes out In time. As far has her telling you everything you wanted to hear...It happens to all of us...just take It with a grain of salt...don't be so quick to give your heart to anybody they should have to win it. Just use this as a learning experience and put your trust In God..he has somebody out there for you. GOD BLESS! Post Reply
Amber2new View Profile History	Infidelity Tragedy Posted : 2 Dec, 2009 06:21 AM I think that is the best advice Iv'e ever heard! Just forgive them and move on. For one dwelling on the past is not going to do anything. And it definitely won't change the other persons lies. My heart has recently been broken, but this is when God can show up and show out. But let us just remember the commandments as Christians as well. Myself included. If somebody else cant wait for something then they just can't wait and you should let them take advantage of somebody else. I just don't understand why people do things like that just to hurt somebody. It's demonic. Post Reply
View Profile History	Infidelity Tragedy Posted : 2 Dec, 2009 07:36 AM dear amber, welcome to the forums.. ole cattle Post Reply
raqsz View Profile History	Infidelity Tragedy Posted : 4 Dec, 2009 10:17 PM Hi to everybody in this forum........Im just new in the site and trying to get around on what is in this forum......its nice to know that there is a site like this wherein you can discuss your personal life and get spiritual advices......Since this forum is about infidelity may I get your comments on how to really move on with the pain that I can say is on its healing process but keeps haunting me on my mind specially on the issue of infidelity and it affected me on my past relationships .............Twice I have been married, the first died last 2002and we have been married for 20 years and my second hub who happens to be a Christian got another wife and a child there in the US after a month of being married to him ........ The second marriage really affected me and Im really ashamed to say this but I rebelled against God coz I cannot accept being married to a non practicing Christian.........I can say that the hurt is already on its healing process when I got the chance to talk to my ex hub and discuss with him about the divorce and I cannot feel the anger anymore inside me.......The problem is that when Im about to have a relationship the fear of being left again for another woman haunts me and this results to failed relationships..........During the first month of the separation I dont even want to talk to my ex and I stopped going to the services to attend church.......This anger lasted for a year when I felt that God is calling me again to go back to Him and forgive this person ......... and I did ...... I am here now in Dubai to work and the country has a limited chuch wherein I can attend and hear the good news of the Lord.....I went to this site to somehow get back again on being a real Christian and help me to be where I should be in the right path with our Saviour Jesus Christ.........Thank you for taking your time to read this and please pray for me that I will finally get over the past just as God has forgiven me on all the sins I have done........God bless!!!! Post Reply
View Profile History	Infidelity Tragedy Posted : 5 Dec, 2009 05:49 AM dear raqsz, welcome to the forums.. ole cattle Post Reply
View Profile History	Infidelity Tragedy Posted : 5 Dec, 2009 05:51 AM dear raqsz, all i can tell ya is youll never be able to move on to the future as long as you hold onto the past.. ole cattle Post Reply

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