Author	Thread: Family's ruin everything!
JistJoe View Profile History	Family's ruin everything! Posted : 8 Nov, 2009 08:56 PM So Ive just gotten out of a relationship that lasted a little over a year. I guess the reason it didn't work is mainly because of our families. Her sisters and their boyfriends that I'm supposed to keep up with and her rich, impossible to live up to parents. And my family if thats what you wanna call it. My oldest brother who is like a distant relative. Only comes around on holidays and I don't blame him. My second oldest has a few disabilities. Torrets syndrome, obsessive compulsive, dyslexia. basically he's socially retarded. I love him but its impossible to have friends or a girlfriend become comfortable around him. And my third older brother commit suicide two years ago this thanksgiving. If anyone has had something like this happen to your family you know that it can either brings you closer together or rip you apart. After that I became so closed off from them and I'm not sure why, but its very hard to introduce a girl to my family. And this girl I was dating lived far enough away that I always found ways to get out of it. I always avoided her family too, but I did meet them and in any other situation I would have gotten along with them fine, but because I knew it would ruin my relationship with her If I didn't get in good with her family I froze up around them always and was never comfortable when we went over to their house. It drove her nuts. We were talking about getting married and having kids. We loved eachother to death and I still love her. About the only thing we would fight about was our families. I didn't let her meet mine and didn't get along with hers. I still feel sick about it and its been over a month since we broke up. The rest of my family is so distant already. they live in another state and I never see them. Its hard to imagine a wedding with family on only one side. So thats my story.Im sure I didn't explain everything but the jist of it is, I met a perfect girl and we loved eachother and wanted to get married and I still love her and now its over. Not because of anything she did or I did, but simply because of our families. Post Reply
View Profile History	Family's ruin everything! Posted : 9 Nov, 2009 02:42 PM Hey Joe!! :waving: I'm very sorry for your heartache. I understand what it's like to come from a dysfunctional family, but please know that your family does not define who YOU are. I also understand that coming from a dysfunctional family can give you a feeling of inadequacy and that you're just not good enough to live up to anyone's standards. Well, brother, I'm here to tell you...you don't have to live up to anyone's standards but God's!! :) I've learned that living for Him changes who we are and people really do notice that. I believe people look at me differently than they used to; instead of thinking, Oh that poor girl, she had such a hard life, people say, Hey! You're doing so good for yourself! When someone loves you, especially, when it's God-centered, they will love you no matter what. Do not be ashamed of your family; they have made you who you are. It's up to you to either be dragged down by it or uplifted from it. There is so much more I could say about this topic, so if you need to hear more just let me know. With love, T Post Reply
JistJoe View Profile History	Family's ruin everything! Posted : 10 Nov, 2009 01:32 AM I dont know how to expain it fully. I just wanted to rant to someone how frustrated I am. I love my girlfriend and want her back and i think she wants me back but its impossible because of our families. I guess theres nothing anyone can say. Thanks for you input. It does mean alot. Also she is not a christian and i am. And I come from a christian family and she doesnt so that made it a challenge too. Post Reply
View Profile History	Family's ruin everything! Posted : 10 Nov, 2009 06:45 PM Dude, I would just tell you to give your trust back to God & follow Him with a childlike faith. Not to say that He doesn't want you with this girl, but ultimately His plan for you is to place a girl with a heart for God in your life. Someone who will strengthen your Christian walk and motivate you to pursue God. Don't lose hope for an amazing future. But I lost a big relationship, because I simply put this boy ahead of God. I am so sorry you are hurting. Sometimes its ok to feel that way. But give what little you have to Him, and He will make something great out of it. Its likely that He will bring you in some way back to your family, if you have His love it will be stronger than strained relationships. Not to get spiritual : ) but..... . Delight yourself in the LORD, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. ~ Psalm 37:4,5 Post Reply
JistJoe View Profile History	Family's ruin everything! Posted : 12 Nov, 2009 12:33 AM Wow...thanks dude. I dont really know where i stand with God. It seems wrong that were not together. We started having sex after dating for three months, not that that was right, but "the two become one flesh" you know? I felt like I owed her my life after that even though she's not a Christian. She would ask me about what I believe sometimes like she wanted it. I worry that without me she will eventually forget why she was ever interested in that. On the other hand sometimes she would be so arrogant and cynical towards Christianity that she made me feel like never talking to her again. And just hanging out with her, I would always do things that I could avoid otherwise like drinking or whatever. You loose your identity in a person when you get close enough to them you know. I still dont know what to think. The whole thing is so confusing to me, like no matter what I did it was wrong. Maybe its good that I dont really have a choice. Post Reply
View Profile History	Family's ruin everything! Posted : 2 Jan, 2010 04:20 PM The main thing right now is to focus on God. Ask God what He wants you to do. There is so much temptation and when it comes to love making that is when we have to live by God's rules. It makes it even harder when you love someone so deeply. I have been celibate for 6 years and I will until I marry again. I won't make the same mistake again. I am here to please God and live my life in His glory not mine. We have to put God first no matter what and once we do then God will bless you in so many ways. God bless you and pray and spend time with the Lord. He will guide you in your life and he will bring a special girl for you. There is a reason why all this happen. It helps you grow unto the Lord and where he is molding you to be. Take Care Conny Post Reply