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Posted : 19 Oct, 2009 08:49 AM

I've been single for two years now. Just about every woman that I date ends with them hooking up with another guy and not telling me until about a month into their relationship.

The last girl I dated (http://www.christiandatingforfree.com/forum/forum_details.php?topic_id=3046&forum_sub_cat_id=10&start=0)

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Posted : 19 Oct, 2009 08:51 AM

Whoops, html messed up my post. I don't feel like typing it up again, I'll post it later

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Posted : 19 Oct, 2009 08:15 PM

Ok (ughhh), lets try this again..



I've been single for two years now. About every woman that I date ends with them hooking up with another guy and not telling me until about a month into their relationship.

The last girl I dated (see link above), was sleeping with her roommate the whole time we were going out. It seems that I've fallen into a reoccurring vicious circle of lies, games, and backstabbing. It's happened way too many times I can't count them anymore.



I'm not doing anything wrong (in the dating sense), just seems like an everlasting bad luck streak with no end in sight. I don't see why it is so hard for me to find a girl that will stick around for more than a minute. I'm a musician, a dj, and have a ton of solo acoustic work, it seems as though all these women want is sex (I've given in a few times which I grieved about later and I'm very thankful that I'm forgiven).

Moving on..



I don't feel that my heart can take it anymore. I keep getting run over again and again. All of my girlfriends (friends that are girls) get annoyed and say "Why does this keep happening to you?! I don't understand!".

I've also been told "It's because you keep chasing the same women."... And I don't get it, it's even some of the christian girls I date also (like in my other topic).



Just, help me feel better, please. I'm in a little funk right now due to the same situation that just happened (once again) this weekend. Please help.



God Bless

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Posted : 19 Oct, 2009 11:27 PM

Ok...think about all the pain and suffering you've been through with all those women.....are you thinking?!?! haha!



Is there a reoccurring theme with those gals? Did they have a characteristic in common?



Try to think of what God was trying to teach you during or after those experiences...you can always take something good from a bad experience.



Now...think of how sweet it will be when you finally meet the woman God has been molding you for!!!! That will be awesome!! After going through all those other women, "the one" will be a literal "God-send"!!



Just have patience and ask God to guide you when you're thinking of asking a girl out...it'll all work out!!!



:waving:

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Tarasye

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Posted : 20 Oct, 2009 02:52 AM

I'm going to borrow a phrase from Dr Phil here when I say that we teach people how to treat us, and your friends are right, like many of us, you keep dating the same girl over and over.



I am not sure I am the right person to give advice on this, as I have been down that road of choosing all the wrong people to spend time with only to find it wasted.



Even though I still seek and have not yet found, I have gotten better at kicking some of that false doctrine to the curb so to speak. I now try to base my relationships in what the Lord has to say about relationships in Him, and if this person doesn't have a heart that chases Him to begin with, that yoking would be like serving two masters, and we are told that serving two masters will not work. When I find out that they are not making a true effort to stay in the Word and live a Christian life, then I know they are not someone I should continue with, for this is a fact that a lot of people ignore, but your falling in love with someone is not going to bring them into the word, as likely as it will lead you into sin.



When I find a secular man that is interested in me, I invite them to church to start with and I approach the relationship with the fact that this might not really be about me so much as it is about the Lord wanting this person to come back into the fold and I am but part of their path to come back. If you view it that way, then you are giving them something special and to get involved with them at such a time is a dis service for if the relationship breaks, as it usually does, then you become one of "THOSE" Christians.



Be a friend and bring them into the church and as they evolve in their relationship with Christ, you will come to know who they are in Him. Stay obedient, stay pure, if they don't like those things about you, then they are not truly the Christian Woman you seek.



Many men and women today want to use that phrase, the flesh is weak. Yes, it is, especially if you are not His. When the Lord is your strength, your commitment to His Word and Faithfulness in the Obedience in that Word that will show people where your heart in Him truly is, and when you find someone that honors that, respects that and lives that, then and only then has you found someone special that might be worth taking the trigger guard off your heart for.



Tarasye



Also, anyone that claims the Bible is out dated is just someone that does not want to be obedient in the Word. Its easy to be obedient in the things that are easy, much tougher in the things that are not. Its not called obedience because its easy.



T.

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Posted : 25 Oct, 2009 03:04 PM

I've been there quite a few times myself bro, although not in recent years. A lot of times I think what happens is a woman has low self esteme and a nice guy who really cares about them and their self esteme gets a boost.

No doubt any woman who does the kind of thing you described is at least fairly shallow and carnal. As always, I believe best solution to avoid getting messed up by a woman is to make sure she knows and is committed to the word of God - and that she also does not have a lot of emotional baggage or issues. The healthier she is the better of course.

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Posted : 25 Oct, 2009 03:17 PM

PFive: I am kind of assuming that you had an exclusive dating relationship with these women. Thats what I was talking about. But I think its also a practive for "worldly minded" women to keep a steady guy so to speak while she looks for a better one (money, etc) especially those around your age.

I can remember my high school science teacher telling me that what "most" girls do is get a boyfriend "until they find a better one." No doubt about it you have been dating worldly

minded females. Sorry, I won't even call them women. But be happy they got out of your life when they did. Sooner you're rid of someone like that - the better.

Amen?:glow:

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Posted : 28 Oct, 2009 07:29 PM

I try to keep hope alive having Faith in God that someone right is out there for me. I do hope you keep your hopes up also. A man who finds a wife finds a good thing. Those women of your past were not good things. God has better in store for you.

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Posted : 29 Oct, 2009 01:27 AM

I know it's kinda messed up, but when i was in a situation like this i really felt better when i realized (today on my lunchbreak) the world of hurt she'll be in when reality sets in with her newest fling or the one after or the one after and so on, that at some point, when the water suddenly gets deeper and she realizes she doesn't know how to swim and all the baggage that didn't mean so much before suddenly does, because she has no clue how to be an independent, responsible, and mature adult that can tell the difference between sex and love. and she'll either have to stop and sort through it and realize what she's done and live with that or not and just totally sink. dark as that is, that's reality. she's a wreck of a human being and if it isn't evident now it will be later, very much so.

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Tarasye

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Posted : 29 Oct, 2009 02:24 AM

That is really true Remp, in so many ways we reap our own wreckage when we don't really comprehend the Big Picture the Lord God Almighty has in mind for us. We are our own worst enemy, and she will hit that wall at some point, then all you can do is pray that her thoughts will turn to the things you told her that she too might be saved as it is the Will of the Lord that none should perish but all should have everlasting life. When I look around me, I find that amazing for sometimes people are really not all that likable, and He Loves even the ones we find intolerable. Is that not a Miracle? I think it truly is.



Tarasye

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collegegirl909

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Posted : 29 Oct, 2009 12:47 PM

oh my gosh I feel the same way except for guys they well talk too me or be with me or try and all of a sudden they stop talking oto me or whatever until they have someone else secure and they dont seem too care one bit. Some come back swareing and hoping i take them back well i may take back soemone that didnt hurt me that way but soemone that did like that do me wrong never. I been single for 2 years then i dated one guy for like 3 weeks he did me wrong also now been single almost three years again. Ever sicne then its been heart broken one after another when i feel i met a guy really click he does me wrong all of a sudden they appear they had a gf they never told me about and they were trying too get iwht me at same tiem or they are jsut asses....lieing andcalling names..:stop:

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