Before getting married I repeatedly said that I did not believe in divorce, and that it marriage is to be forever, because that's the way GOD intended it to be, more over, in the old testament of the bible, it said that GOD hates divorce - he did not say it will not happen. Then Jesus Christ came and explained it to me. What did I learn:
(1) GOD's ideal comes with two becoming one flesh, united. If you and your spouse do not live in unity - commitment to love and respect for each other, then the marriage fails the unity test and passes GOD's separation test.
(2) The man that is referred to by the bible when it comes to separation is an institution that as designated itself as "the authorities" in this matter, that is, the courts, city counsel, etc. They do not have the authority to declare a marriage dissolved but GOD does and sometimes he exercise that authority. The bible says to leave all judgement to GOD, he will repay.
(3) Not all unions are as a result of GOD's joining together, example transactional marriages, whether implicit or explicit, subtle or plain.
(4) The heart of men/women can become hardened in their position and unresponsive to GOD creating an environment of hatred. It also introduces the element of unforgiveness. The scripture says if you do not forgive others their transgression, your Heavenly Father will not forgive you your transgression.
(5) The criteria for adultery is more than the physical act of sex. The act of lusting in one's heart for another man's wife or woman's husband - this goes back to the command that say that you must not covet your neighbour's wife or husband and also the principle that, it's what comes out of a man's heart that defiles him. But there is a principle here I believe that Jesus Christ is pointing us towards. Anything done to defile or desecrate or damage or violate the union with your spouse may be considered adulterous to the union. The act of deliberately withholding having sexual intercourse with your spouse for a very extended period of time as a means to punishing or as an indication that you are no longer interested in honouring the union may be considered here as an example.
(6) We must not become self-righteous or condemn another. Christ did not condemn the lady caught in the act of adultery to death, physical or eternal, so as human we do not have that authority. Christ is consistent, remember the woman at the well.
(7) Grace and mercy is offered to us through JESUS Christ.
