Why marriages are so complicated in United States? Is there any problem with American women? Is it true that most American women are extremely emotionally immature? They act like selfish little children, totally obnoxious. Are they angry, independent and have an unsubmissive attitude?
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Do you think there is a problem with men who are abusive, ungodly and no longer manly?
Men and women divorce when they don't know the gospel and are unwilling to live by its teachings. You cannot help it if the spouse leaves you or cheats, but that is the ONLY reason for divorce in Scripture. The divorce rate reveals the unbelief rate, giving us a picture that everyone who claims the name of Christian isn't really what he thinks that he is, for by their fruit, you must know them.
Fornication before marriage is as common as cold in Winter, and yet God has a remnant.
Find a man who lives by the gospel, and you'll find a man who will be faithful until the end, not because he is great, but because his Savior is real.
The Master tells us to repent of our fornication, and believer's will. People as defiled as Rahab and Ruth (from a cursed people) are included in the Lord's blood line because repentance wipes the slate clean, but the unbelieving will perish, singing "Jesus loves me", while rebellious walking in their own lusts and wills.
The problem in marriage break up is world wide, its not just limited to the United States, i Know as a country They think they are the centre of the universe, but back to the point the problem is global. There are many factors that contribute to this problem, i will only comment on a few. Regarding christian marriage the biggest issue is around the areas of a male/ female role. Men and woman are equal as created creatures under God, but in regard to the relationship between man and a woman overall in every area particularly in a married relationship men and woman are NOT equal, as both have different roles and are very different in most areas, physically, mentally, emotionally, needs etc. This view is strongly held in scripture, the Bible, Gods Word, the problem is that the views of the world, eg. the feminist movement etc, have found its way into the church and like a cancer. Please note I am not saying woman are inferior to men or that men have the right to lord it over woman i am stating a very obvious fact that has contributed and caused issues in relationships, marriage etc. When we ignore what God says the result is always destruction and that is exactly what has happened here
I do agree that divorce is worldwide but the United States tops the list in divorce.
Mainly this country has let go of our morals in regards to the sanctity of marriage. A lot of people thinks that marriage is a joke which is not. Marriage is an institution that God ordained it so think twice before saying I do.
The bible refers to the last days in one of these contexts.
Men or people will be lovers of self more than lovers of God. It also say that people will have a form of Godliness but deny the power of God in their lives.
In my marriage we both had caused eachother much pain and suffering. The difference between us is this. I turned to God and she did not.
You see inorder to have a sucessful marriage their needs to be death to self. ( religion apart) God uses our pain to do this. So we either invite the pain and look to God or we seek an escape.
If she had joined me on the path of surrender today we would have such a intimate relationship. Where she is now a live in whoooooo re. Returning sexuuual favor in trun for financial security. Like the woman at the well who continues to go through relationship after relationship.
Due to my willingness to surrender and seek God. To alow God to grow me and humble me. Seeking God to lead and guide my life but most important to know God more and more.
God has now brought into my life a good woman who also knows and seeks God. We have discovered together the intimacy that I desired with my ex and I know she desired and still desires. And by the way she is from India also.
Intimacy requires valurenibility. When we seek to protect our selves we loose the oppertunity to find intimacy. Plain and simple.....
Does this mean I am better than her? No it does not. Only that I looked for the source of life and found it. Where she looked to self for her source and found emtiness.
JesusLoverGal, you have brought up some very interesting facts and questions. I think, good marriages are ones where both partners are highly compatible with each other. What happens most of the time is that people just run into each other and fall in love with random people whom they meet in a bookstore, at work, on the bus, at the gym, etc. Marriage is like having a roommate. And when you try to match up random people with each other, and assign them to live together for life, it doesn't always work. Yeah, it may work 50% of the time, and perhaps that's why the divorce rate is about 50% in the USA.
On the other hand, for arranged marriages, the partners are picked by a matchmaker or parents, and they consider every little detail. They want to pick someone that they think is going to be best for their child, and they are usually right in their choice.
However, in the American culture, women pick men. Women are wired to look for funniness, boldness, braveness, aggressiveness, selfishness, etc. These are positive traits that they look for. Sadly, these traits are not exactly what makes a man a good husband or a good father. Girls never fall in love with a boy just because he tells the truth, he helps someone, or he loves children.
Women in the USA who are never married and don't have children don't really know what they want in a man. They want someone who makes them laugh, makes them cry, loves them, etc. They just want to get entertained! That's all. So, they get married. Their husband abuses them, and they get divorced. They learn from their experience. This time they know what the red flags are. They know what to look for. They know what a good man looks like and what a bad boy looks like. So, divorced women are much wiser and smarter than single women who never married.
The reason why arranged marriages are so much better is because you get a partner who was picked for you by someone much wiser than you. So, you're not just doing an experiment, which is what most marriages are--they are nothing more than just an experiment.
There's an article on my profile that says, "More than a third of marriages between 2005 and 2012 began online, according to new research at the University of Chicago, which also found that online couples have happier, longer marriages." - http://medx.cc/289484432
The reason why online marriages seem to work better is because there's a large selection of people online, and you get to choose who you like. Well, I know, this sounds very idealistic. In reality, you don't just choose. You both have to choose each other, but the idea is that people don't end up marrying a random person. You get to search for someone with specific personality, similar interests, similar habits, beliefs, etc.
In conclusion, I would say that the only thing that messes up dating is love, because once you fall in love, you throw away reason and logic. You can't think clearly anymore. And that's why online dating such as this website is good. You get to know the other person without falling in love, and you get to decide if you want to fall in love or resist. The same thing is true about arranged marriage. Love is not in the way. You don't fall in love only after marriage. And I think that is the ideal way to get married. In normal marriage, people get high on love, and it tends to fade away over the years. In arranged marriages, love tends to grow and gradually strengthen over the years, which is much better and healthier way to go, I think. What's the point of getting married? Isn't it a long-term thing? Isn't that the point? Most people think that marriage is like a milkshake. And that's what regular marriages are like. They give you an initial good feeling, but eventually you feel hungry. You eat it. While it's in your mouth, it tastes wonderful, and then it's gone.
