It's been more than a year since I broke with my ex. And I still feel the pain. Probably more lately than last year.This whole year has been difficult for me, even when I have a crush on someone else already.
My relationship with my ex was long distance. She said she needed space, but it looked more like a break up, even when i asked her not to break up. Soon after, she was deeply sorry and wanted to make up, but she probably appologized too soon. She sent me a couple of songs to show how she felt, but i was feeling so hurt, empty and hopeless about meeting up and I felt like my love for her was gone, but really wasn't. I didn't accept her apology and I later felt like a fool for it. I got into another relationship soon, which was foolish of me and that didn't last thankfully.
I wanted to make up later. My ex also wanted to get back together, but I felt I needed a little more time to heal first. She then went to another guy. I felt hurt of course. This man was married before and showed more interest in his ex wife. That relationship ended in about 3 months.
My ex wanted to get back with me, which I also wanted. But I felt she needed time to heal from that relationship first and that I should find a job so we could finally meet up after saving some money. She seemed to take it as rejection, which I didn't intend. Soon she got into another relationship.
Later I find this man was a non-believer or backslider, married twice in the past and wanted my ex to be his wife, even though they only dated for a very short time. He wasn't looking for a long term relationship. Some people at my ex's church didn't approve of this relationship. Neither did some of her friends. Almost everyone I asked about this relationship agreed they shouldn't be together. I asked about this in another topic on this forum. Me and others tried to talk her out of this relationship but she didn't want to let him go. He became a believer suppostly a few months ago. But me and others still feel it's improper to get married so fast to a man married twice in the past and who's barely a Christian.
This is what hurt me most of all I think. That she would choose a non-believer over me or any other Christian, even with plenty of people dissaproving. Even when I like another girl at the moment.
Funny thing is, my ex showed hints of guilt and even jealously. Jealously over one of our friends who was into me, but admits she has no right to feel that. The other day she remembered that I called my crush beautiful and that bright back old memories of me calling her that, as though she missed it. Even though her fiance already calls her beautiful. I want to move on from this. Whats really going through my ex's head?
I think you need to sit out and really think things through and allow the Holy Spirit of God to help you through it. You and your ex cant keep going back and forth as these all the time.
One remarkable thing is the way you and your ex seem to be making a ping-pong of yourself. Each time she come back, you feel "she need some healing" and then that is mistaken for rejection, then she goes off to get into another thing drastic and then your path crosses and the same cycle is repeated. Now you and she had oscillated back and forth amidst several other men and woman, i think its hurtful. God did not design you to live as this. Please get in touch with God and let him help you. This punishment and God is not the author or the sanction handler of it!
Hey David, bro you are not alone. My ex girlfriend was long distance as well. Two of them were of Filipino origin and I was in love with the last one. The first gf was very meaningful because we knew each other for more than a year. Both of them had something in common. they were hurt by their previous boyfriends. One of her ex got another girl pregnant, the other one was about to get married and discovered that her fiance had plans of marrying a different man. As a result, they had a lot of emotional scars. I'm going to tell you about my last gf. She was really special to me, my family loves her, and she is a really spiritual person. Although, the scars of the past still lingers in her because she was really afraid that I will betray her and for me, I would never do something like that. The first gf hurt me really bad but my parents and friends gave me a ton of support and as a result of the family prayer, God sent me the 2nd one right away. I was very happy. Our relationship lasted over the holidays until March. It was rocky but she always giving me a ton of support. However, things didn't go the way I planned because of her negativity. We broke up last March but after I came back to Atlanta, she started to like my stuff on facebook so we talked a little. However, I am going through other things in my life so I decided to turn off facebook so I can stay focused. Afterwards, she started to text me because she is friends with a lady from church so she contacted her to say how am I doing so I decided to text her. It was okay but truthfully, I started to feel uncomfortable so I would have to agree what Philipian has to say about the Holy Spirit. I felt the comforter was telling me that, it's not a good idea that I should be talking to her. I told her how I felt, even though she did not like that at all but I felt at peace with myself and God.
Let go David, there must a reason why you are done with your ex. She seems to be very unstable with her. I know you still love her but you must think God has a reason why the relationship does not continue. God has the ability to see into the future and most likely he see that something bad that could happen if you decide to be with her. He doesn't want you to get really hurt in the long run. Deep down, I still like my ex and sometimes I open my fb to take a peak at her profile and look at her pics and posts. However, I decide to obey my God because he knows what's best for me, he'll decide when to send me the one. If he does not want me to get married, he'll give me something awesome to do and I will accept his will.
From past experience, let me share you something that will happen. Be with people that will help you spiritually, spend time with them, be in the hands of good people, and be a little selfish. Do something that you want to do also make time for God by being involved in your church. Take the time to get to know God, he probably wants you to have a relationship with you.