Thread: LAUGHTER IS BEST MEDICINE FOR A BROKEN HEART...
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LAUGHTER IS BEST MEDICINE FOR A BROKEN HEART...
Posted : 31 Jan, 2009 04:39 PM
The Word of God is our guide for everyday Christian living, and has everything in it that we need to know to help us overcome hardtimes and many heart breaks... IF WE BUT DILIGENTLY READ AND HEED WHAT gOD HAS TO SAY...
In Provebs chapter 17: verse 22, it reads: "A merry (happy) heart does good like a medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones."
So let's laugh a little and forget our troubles and woes...
A minister told his congregation on Sunday morning, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of "Lying". And to help you better understand my sermon, I would like for all of you to read Mark chapter 17."
The following Sunday, as the pastor prepared to deliver his sermon, he asked the congregation for a show of hands of those who had read Mark chapter 17. Because he wanted to know how many in the congregation would raise their hands as a show that they had indeed read the chapter.
Every hand went up. The pastor chuckled to himself and said, "You mean to say all of you read Mark chapter 17? The congregation gave a loud, "Amen". The pastor stood back looking over his flock, shaking his head in disbelief, and said, "I would like for you to open your Bibles, and turn to Revelation chapter 21, verse 8. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying. My sermon this morning is, "...And ALL Lairs Shall Have Their Part In The Lake Of Fire". Mark has only 16 chapters....:ROFL:
Make this a fun thread. Post some of your favorite funny jokes...
In a small Louisiana town, in the 50s, there was this woman that was having trouble with her 10 year old son lying all the time. She asked the local Pastor over to help her. She sent the boy out while they talked.
In this town was a big old collie dog. He grew so much hair during the winter, that the owners sheared him every summer. Well as this boy was walking along, he saw this animal coming down the street with no hair on it's body, but with a big furry head and neck. He turned around and started running home yelling at the top of his lungs, a lion, a lion, run for your lives, there's a lion coming.
When he ran into his house, his Mom, being embarrassed, jerked him up and started whipping him. The Pastor stopped her and told the boy, now you know God hates lying, so I want you to go up to your room and pray until God forgives you.
With his head down, the boy trudges up the stairs, and in about a minute, he comes bouncing back down. The Pastor calls him over and asks firmly, do you think God forgave you that quickly? The boy answered, He told me he did.
Beside himself, the Pastor says, God spoke to you? Yes, answered the boy.
Just exactly what did He say to you, he asked?
The boy replied, He told me, the first time He saw that dog He thought it was a lion, too.
I don't really have a joke, but I got an e-mail from someone a while ago with children's e-mails to God. They were all so innocent, as children are - but also funny. Here are some of them:
(This is my favorite)
-Dear God, If you watch in Church on Sunday I will show you my new shoes.
-Dear God, In the Bible times did they really talk that fancy?
-Dear God, I think about you sometimes even when I'm not praying.
-Dear God, If you give me a genie lamp like Alladin I will give you anything you want except my money or my chess set.
-Dear God, Please send Dennis Clark to a different camp this year.
-We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday school they said you did it. So I bet he stoled your idea.
-Dear God, Please put another Holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now.
-Dear God, Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother.
-Dear God, I think the stapler is one of your greatest inventions.
-Dear God, Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones why don't you just keep the ones you got now?
-God, I would like to live 900 years like the guy in the Bible.
A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He went to his dad and asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him into his study, and listened to why he felt he should have use of the car. Then said to him, "Son, I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Bible a little more, and cut your hair, and we'll talk about it after you've done these things."
After about a month, the boy came back to his father again and to ask if they could talk about the use of the car. They again went into the father's study, where his father said to him, "Son, I've been real proud of you. You have brought your grade up, you've studied your Bible diligently, but you haven't cut your hair."
The young boy waited a moment and replied, "You know dad, I've been thinking about that... You know, Samson had long hair. Moses had long hair. Noah had long hair. Even Jesus had long hair that looked like wool." The father leaned back in his chair at his desk, and looking up at his son with a grin on his face, replied, "Yes, you're correct son, and they walked eveywhere they went!"...
There were four country churches in a small Texas town: The Presbyterian Church, the Baptist Church, the Methodist Church and the Catholic Church. Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels.
One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.
In the Baptist Church the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week.
The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the Squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.
But -- The Catholic Church came up with the best and most effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.
A saintly 85 year old woman had just returned home from a Sunday night service when she was startled by an intruder.
As she caught the man in the very act of robbing her house of its valuables. The man ran past her out the front door grabbing her purse... she yelled, STOP!... YOU THEIF! ACTS 2:38! The man stopped dead in his tracks.
The woman called the police and when they arrived, she explained to them what had happened. The man was handcuffed, and as the police officer was leading him away, the man told the officer he wanted to press charges against the elderly woman. The officer confused, asked the man, why he wanted to press charges against the woman since he was the one robbing her house.
The man turned to the officer and said, this woman is guilty of a terrorist threat against me with deadly weapons... she threatened me with an ax and two thirty-eights.
A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used.
She showed the group a lively hillside where many goats were grazing. "These, she explained, are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce! She then asked the group, "What do you do in America with your old goats when they no longer produce. A spry old gentleman yelled from the back of the bus, "They send us on bus tours!"
