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Left, broken heart, blessing in disguisePosted : 23 Nov, 2011 10:00 PMMy morning started like any other morning. My boyfriend drove me to work like he used to tend to do. We discussed his birthday party I was planning (it was the day of his birthday) that night. It was his big 3 0 and I wanted to make it special to show him how special I thought he was. I had invited quite a few people over. I was going to be making his requested dish and I baked a cake, etc. I had a weird feeling all day like something was not right, but I just couldn't figure it out. We had been having problems, after 4 and years, I thought we could work through them. However, I was not facing the real truth behind our problems. He tended to get physical with me and I always looked past that like a stupid girl, thinking he would change. Anyways, I got off work and he was not there to pick me up. That was not like him at all because he was almost always on time. I just had a gut feeling he was not coming. I called my brother to come pick me up in teats, as I just new what my new reality was becoming. My brother took me home and I came home to find a totally different world. I had found out that he left me. He left no note, no call, no word no apologizes. Just me by myself in a new/old town. I grew up here but went away for college and then after graduating moved back. This has been a very trying time for me. I have been in a consistent state of learning things about myself that I had lost when I was with him. I can say after been going through this for sometime now, God gave me a blessing in this sad time for me. He gave me the opportunity to grow and mature in the ways of love. I now know what I do and do not want out of a man and a relationship. God has given me strength to continue learning things about myself and how you are to be treated in a relationship. God has given me a new outlook on love and life. I am trying with all my might to not put walls up with men who come in my life, however this I know, will take some work. Thank you for letting me tell my story. :) Everyday is a new adventure and something is always changing. |
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EverythingMe
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Left, broken heart, blessing in disguisePosted : 5 Dec, 2011 05:06 PMI'm glad you found this as a venue to tell us your story and vent. I'm sorry about the situation you were in, but as the best say the most trying times are when God crafts us into shining stars. Blessings come in disguises sometimes, and even though it may not seem fitting at the time, later on we see these teachings come into play and I for one can do nothing but sit back and smile. |
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Manscottell
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Left, broken heart, blessing in disguisePosted : 26 Dec, 2011 05:48 PMTrials and tribulations are building blocks of faith. Anybody that have no relationship with the Lord has not experienced love because God is love. They don't know love, they don't love themselves, they cannot love others because they cannot give what they don't have. |
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Left, broken heart, blessing in disguisePosted : 19 Feb, 2012 09:59 AMWow....you may as well have told my story! It's so similar to yours. I wasn't abused though. I was married to my first husband for 15 years...15 years! I have two boys by him that I love with all my heart. We just grew apart. He played softball a lot, and I started working. As he was coming home from work, I was leaving to go to work. Our marriage was a very sad loss. I remarried shortly after my divorce....MISTAKE!! I wish so badly that I had dated this other man longer and gotten to know him before I jumped in marriage. I was married to my second husband for 8 years. My boys came to love him dearly. Our relationship hadn't been going well for a while. He told me either I had to leave or he was going to. He basically kicked me out. If he left I couldn't afford the bills where we lived. I had to leave. I stayed with my parents for 6 months before God blessed me with a place of my own. Something told me to go back to where I used to live, and when I did, my ex had a girl there who he went to school with. He claimed they were just friends. She was married, and her husband was jealous of her friends. My husband (at the time) knew that. And I had confronted his "friend" about her being there, so she knew how I felt. In 2010, due to stress and her husband believing there was something going on with my ex and his wife, her husband shot and killed himself right in front of her. My ex husband told me it was partly his fault. I never have gotten all of the details about that, as well as questionable things my ex had done all through our marriage. I left the marriage not having answers to things. That's a really rough road people, not knowing answers like, "Well did he do what he was accused of, or not?" I'm friends with his mom on facebook, and have considered removing her because it's just a reminder of my ex. I emailed her quite a while back and told her things I had questioned about my ex, and asked her if she knew anything about it, and if she did, please tell me. She was open with me. I asked her in about 3 different emails about it. Then she told me she had written a long email to me but couldn't find it, then she never told me what it said. So I feel betrayed by her too. I have been told that if that is a "trigger" for me that causes depression to take her off my friend's list. I haven't yet because I know she loves me and my kids, and I know it would hurt her. I just want to explain to her how I feel and then just take her off my friend's list. Please comment and let me know what you all think. I'm SO sorry this post is so lengthy. Thanks to all of you who read this. ~JC~ |