Author	Thread: loving someone Ive never met in person,am I a fool
steveofgod View Profile History	loving someone Ive never met in person,am I a fool Posted : 26 Sep, 2011 08:41 PM I really liked a girl I knew from facebook,we always posted similar posts ,about hope ,Gods love ectand after talking to her a while and seeing her pictures I started feeling feelings for her,I had never heard her voice or seen her smile but the way she held her daughter in her pictures and loved people just touched me and I loved her,I know it sounds stupid,but how much do you have to have to love someone ,well I stupidly wrote her a sappy love poen and she deleted me,I guess she didnt like me or perhaps feel safe with being liked by someone in another state and online,I thought we knew eack other enough that It would be ok and that she wouldnt feel threatened,she knows Im not a nutcase or stalker but I feel ashamed ,dissapointed and rejected,and now I feel less than,what an ego breaker,.now Im sitting here wishing God would send me someone I will love and who will love me back,so now my upbeat happy grin is andiscouraged frown,perhaps Im not ready for love yet,only God knows! Post Reply
View Profile History	loving someone Ive never met in person,am I a fool Posted : 27 Sep, 2011 01:28 PM The female mind is indeed alien... Post Reply
View Profile History	loving someone Ive never met in person,am I a fool Posted : 28 Sep, 2011 01:50 AM So much for her being a "Christian". You know, I find very little difference between women in the world and women in the church. I'm going through some stuff right now, and I refuse to ever message a girl again due to the rudeness I encounter. You know, it's so easy for them to devour tender hearts without even knowing it. They're concerned about their movie star looks and how many guys they can attract so they boost their self-esteem at the expense of breaking someone's heart. There is no Biblical justification for that, and I guarantee in ancient Biblical times people in general (not just the women) were way more humble and loving. They all whine about finding a man of God, but turn one down when he's in front of them. I sympathize with you man, I really do. I can't offer you any advice, but just know that you aren't alone. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	loving someone Ive never met in person,am I a fool Posted : 28 Sep, 2011 06:19 AM I'm sorry that happened to you. I know what it's like to think I have feelings for someone that I've never met in person, and I know what it's like to not have those feelings returned. I've never had someone block me, though, because of it. I've also had to be the one to make it clear that a relationship was not possible between me and another person. That's always hard to do, but I guess it's better to be honest rather than allow someone to harbor feelings that I'll never be able to return. In your situation, had you told this woman about your feelings for her before you wrote her the love poem? If not, it's possible that you completely took her off guard and scared her. She may not have felt that your friendship was as close as you did. I can understand that -- I have a couple FB friends (whom I've met in person!) who would probably get blocked if they suddenly wrote me a love poem. Something else to consider is the fact that not everyone appreciates receiving a love poem, no matter WHO wrote it or sent it. I know that I'd find it to be a little strange to receive a love poem from someone I wasn't dating, even if it was from a guy that I really liked. If I really liked him, I probably wouldn't block him because of it, but I would certainly feel a little creeped out. If it was from someone I was dating, I'm sure I would think it was sweet rather than creepy. In the future, you might do better to just tell a female online-only friend something like "You know, I think we'd get along really well in person. Do you want to meet up for lunch sometime?" That way you can meet her, see if you still really like her, and give her a chance to get to know you better. If attraction is mutual, THEN let her know how you feel. If she lives too far away to have a casual meeting, try to pursue her more intentionally online. Let her know that you would like to get to know her better, and why. Be honest with her. But don't let your feelings get too hurt if she doesn't respond. No matter how great she may be, some relationship just aren't going to work out, and she may be able to see that even if you can't. Again, I'm sorry someone hurt you like that. It's not an easy position to be in from either side. Post Reply
View Profile History	loving someone Ive never met in person,am I a fool Posted : 28 Sep, 2011 07:23 AM For all you know, this woman probably has had this happen before. People can say this or that, and act like they love deeply about someone, but it is not something one can possibly know just from online correspondence. I think that is what they call fantasy. So use this as a learning experience and do not lay it out so strong. Post Reply
View Profile History	loving someone Ive never met in person,am I a fool Posted : 28 Sep, 2011 11:57 AM I'm of the school of thought where a friendship should evolve naturally and I feel like often people think they love someone they've never met when really it's more likely infatuation, interest, etc. Now these are feelings but true love is much more than feelings, it is actions, it is thought, it is compassion, it is patient... before I quote the Corinthians passage on love. In a nut shell I think it's best as others have pointed out to take things in smaller steps, maybe in conversation with someone you think you may be interested throw out some hints, especially if dating or relationship talk comes up in conversation. Sometimes it's good to suppress or put aside temporarily what you feel or think you feel for her and listen to what she says and ask question. Even if your conversation doesn't involve discussing you and her specifically just talking about that subject can break the ice a little there and may give you clues as to what she is looking for in a guy, what she likes, doesn't like, etc. Women are subtle quite often so we need to pay attention and listen and observe (in person, body language, eye contact, etc). Sometimes it's easy to get tunnel vision and hear only what we want to hear and are focused on our own feelings about someone and only see bright sunny skies only to be surprised by a sudden storm cloud that rains on our own parade. If the Poem was the first indication for her that you like her then that would definitely result in strong reaction, in this case she chose to disassociate with you. There are many other ways to show interest in someone without putting them in an awkward position. Post Reply
View Profile History	loving someone Ive never met in person,am I a fool Posted : 28 Sep, 2011 01:45 PM Let me say, I am sorry you were Hurt by this woman. However, Love is more than fantacy, infatuation or Chemistry. Whenever you meet someone Online without a actual meeting in person, it is Not likely to be Love. Often times, men write Poems to several women. Copying and pasteing the Same words over and over. I Really like Romantic Poetry and would welcome that but I would not fall in love just by a man sending me a Love Poem.:laugh: Post Reply
View Profile History	loving someone Ive never met in person,am I a fool Posted : 29 Sep, 2011 10:36 PM Don't compliment their looks. You would think people would like that, but women don't. Post Reply
View Profile History	loving someone Ive never met in person,am I a fool Posted : 29 Sep, 2011 10:39 PM Actually that does make sense a little. Post Reply
cowgirl1984 View Profile History	loving someone Ive never met in person,am I a fool Posted : 1 Oct, 2011 11:34 PM BC said everything I was thinking! BC, hoosier, loony, and angel are all totally right on. I will tell you right now, I have had something similar done to me like what you did to her. It was extremely uncomfortable and creepy, and I cut off the relationship immediately. It is scary to have someone, even if you are friends with them, suddenly profess their love to you like that. Even if she "knew" you weren't a stalker before that, you can't say she "knows" that now, because you did something very unexpected, so she may have felt (I can't say how she did feel since I don't know her, but this is how she likely felt and how I would feel) that she didn't know you like she thought she did and no longer know what you would or would not do. After you sent her the poem, maybe she thought you WERE capable of being a stalker. Legend, you have some bigtime bitternesses it seems. I am in no way trying to lay judgment on you because I think most single Christians have had very similar feelings (I know I have!). It seems you may have some deeply buried anger, and to make the judgment that this girl wasn't a Christian when you do not know her mind, heart, soul, or how she felt is a very serious judgment. Also, just because not every girl falls in love with you because you have feelings for her does not make her wrong. It only takes one, unless you're a polygomist :laugh: It can be very frustrating to be a single Christian and feel like everyone is pairing off, and the few who are still single aren't interested. But that doesn't mean there isn't someone for you, it just means you haven't met the right someone. And until it's someone who is right for you, then it is GOOD that the ones who are not right for you are rejecting you. It leaves both of you open to finding someone who IS right for you. One note about the following statement: "...and I guarantee in ancient Biblical times people in general (not just the women) were way more humble and loving." There are lots of stories in the Bible about even Godly men and women that would dispute this statement. Humans were just as flawed then as they are now. Plus, "Biblical times" spans about 5,000 years or more :glow: I know everyone says that phrase, I just think it's funny! Think how much things have changed in just the last 20 years, then most everyone talks about "Biblical times" as if it were all the same during that whole 5,000 (give or take) years :ROFL: Post Reply
Statie View Profile History	loving someone Ive never met in person,am I a fool Posted : 2 Oct, 2011 02:57 PM I won't sit here and tell you what you felt for her was not love but a mere fantasy. I'm also not going to tell you this woman wasn't a christian because she deleted you after reading your poem. I will say this though, if a relationship is meant to be -- it will find a way to BE. Regardless of the venue to which you meet someone -- or even the mode of communication between you albeit in person, on the phone, or in writing-- when the opportunity presents itself and you meet the woman you inevitably fall in love with -- when it's right -- she will feel the same and you will end up together. Anyone else you meet prior to that time is just a practice run for when the real thing comes along. Post Reply

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