Author	Thread: Does anyone else besides me feel this way?
Admin	Does anyone else besides me feel this way? Posted : 9 Oct, 2010 09:16 PM Like no one on here is truely interested in you? It's like no one is ever serious about me and they're talking to several other people. I haven't found anyone on here yet who was genuinely interested in me and who I can have great conversations with. Most conversations endup dieing before they even start. Also a lot of women on here seem shallow. They want a guy who's really good looking, athletic, makes great money, etc. It's like I'm never good enough for anyone. I'm really starting to feel like there's no one for me. I know God has a plan for my life but I don't know if it includes a woman or not but my deepest desire above all is to serve the Lord with all my mind, body and soul. But I have always desired a good loving woman to love me and start a family with. My entire life I've dreamed of what true love is like. Also I really want children to love and watch grow. I'm not sure I'll make a good mate or father but all I know is my heart desires for me to be both and I will love my wife and children with all my heart. Post Reply
View Profile History	Does anyone else besides me feel this way? Posted : 14 Oct, 2010 06:23 AM A perfect response Cool! Be still and let the Holy Spirit guide you. Dear Lord bless this beautiful young man's heart and if it be your will bring him in season to his bride.Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Amen Post Reply
cowgirl1984 View Profile History	Does anyone else besides me feel this way? Posted : 15 Oct, 2010 12:27 AM First things first @Kayla. AMEN SISTER! Poor, happy Jesus-lovin' geek (he's gotta like sci-fi at least a little, hehe), come and get me!!! Cool. I'm not sure how to respond because I don't want to come across as harsh, but there are a few things bothering me about some of the things you're saying, and I want to help. I'll make it a "list" just so that it's easier to read. 1) Fill out your profile, at least a little. I can't possibly know for sure, but maybe the reason the conversations are fizzling out right away or some of the women on here come across as "shallow" (and I'm not saying some aren't, because the world is full of shallow men and women both) is because there's nothing in your profile to work from. When you see someone in person, someone you don't know from Adam, you already know something about them from their mannerisms, facial expressions, tone of voice, etc. You don't get the benefit of that online, so profiles are all we have to give us an initial indication of who someone is. I think filling out your profile will help, at least a little. 2) You said, "I've had a purdy mixed up life and a rough start but I'm praying God makes a way for me. I know I gotta stand up and be the man I need to be but I can't do everything alone. Right now it's like the world is pressing down on my shoudler and I'm sinking in quick sand. I am trying so hard to stand but I just can't seem to find a way out." This bothers me because it sounds like you're saying you need someone (a girlfriend or wife) so that you can get it together. That is the complete opposite of how it should be. God is the only one who can help you get things together and get out of the quick sand you feel you're in. No human can do that, and no human should be expected to do that. I have put that kind of weight on friends in the past and it destroys friendships. How much more do you think it would destroy something that is more than a friendship. I will pray for you because I know how difficult it is to feel that way because I've been there. Turn to God and don't look for relationships right now. 3) You said, "My entire life everything has came late. A little dew to me maturing socially slower than others but also because of my parents. Like I got my permit at 15 but I didn't get my license till I was 19 because my parents wouldn't let me practice driving much and never would take me to take the test again. When I finally went and took the test at 19 the black instructor was really rude and told me I couldn't take it because I didn't have an up to date insurance statement in my car. So I went back when I got one to take it again and lucky she didn't find a reason to not let me take it. Well I took it and when it was done she said I barely passed. I graduated high school two years late because I got held back in kindergarten and the 9th grade." You blamed at LEAST three people (I'm counting your parents as two, the third being the first driving instructor) in that paragraph for difficulties in your life. You are thinking of yourself as a victim, and that may well be why you feel such a weight on your shoulders. If you learn to take responsibility for your part in things (I'm not saying you haven't done this part because I don't know, but it kind of sounds like you haven't) and stop placing blame on others, you will be a LOT happier and feel more free. 4) In one post, you said, "I'm in no rush but I desire deeply to someday soon have a wife and eventually a family." The next day, you said, "I'm not even looking anymore for a gf or wife." The first quote, you said you're in no rush, but then also said "someday soon." The two phrases contradict each other. And as far as the two quotes, I don't know if maybe God changed your heart during that 24 hour period? Or if you are just changing your tune a little because you are trying to defend yourself against what Itasca is saying? Itasca may sound harsh, but he is right and he is saying it because he CARES. If you haven't already, you would do well to listen. I wish I had listened more when people tried to give me these pieces of wisdom. 5) You said, "My hormones long for that intimacy and affection but my heart longs more than anything to just know love. To know someone else love me and that I am their everything." That's a very self-centered view of it. You want to get married because YOU long to know love, and YOU want to know that someone else loves YOU and that YOU are their everything. I am in no way at all saying this makes you bad. This makes you NORMAL for a young man. But it also means that, as Itasca said, you are not mature enough for a relationship of that depth. If what you want is to know real, true, deep, unconditional love, go to Jesus. I longed for that too, and one day when I was at my absolute complete and utter lowest, I cried out to God and BEGGED Him to show me even a smidgen of love so that I would know He really did care. I was so overwhelmed with just the sudden, powerful feeling of His great love for me. All I could do was sob, but a GOOD sob! It was an amazing feeling, and no man will ever make me feel that way. Not that I don't want a man to love me because I do of course. But it isn't the same. God's love is better. Way better. YOU ARE VERY PRECIOUS TO JESUS! He would not have died for you if you weren't. When Jesus died on the cross for the world, that included you! It is an amazing, incredible love. It might not have the same meaning for you, but Philippians 4 really helped me to refocus my attention on God. Just please know that YOU ARE LOVED BY GOD! And you are a very special human being to Him. I know that sounds like a platitude but it's truth. HE LOVES YOU!!! Post Reply
anyann View Profile History	Does anyone else besides me feel this way? Posted : 15 Oct, 2010 01:54 AM a good post cowgirl :) Post Reply
View Profile History	Does anyone else besides me feel this way? Posted : 15 Oct, 2010 06:42 AM cowgirl: cool is still a young man. He is still maturing as a man and as a Christian. Post Reply
cowgirl1984 View Profile History	Does anyone else besides me feel this way? Posted : 15 Oct, 2010 05:59 PM Itasca, maybe you misunderstood me? An exact quote from my post was: "That's a very self-centered view of it. You want to get married because YOU long to know love, and YOU want to know that someone else loves YOU and that YOU are their everything. I am in no way at all saying this makes you bad. This makes you NORMAL for a young man." See the very last line? Note how I said that makes him NORMAL. I was in no way criticizing him or saying that he should be different. I'm not much older than him either. It's not abnormal for someone our age to have a self-centered view of love and marriage. It's part of growing up. The desires are NORMAL and the self-centerdness is NORMAL. It's the process of overcoming the self-centerdness that is part of what prepares us to take on the responsibility that comes with our desires for a life-long marriage partner being fulfilled. No one is ever TRULY ready in my opinion. Well, very few people anyway. And I think that is a big contributing factor to the divorce rate, but that's a whole other subject. But I have to touch on it at least a little or it'll drive me crazy :laugh:. Basically in this country, everything has been made easy. You can get loans or credit cards or store credit so that you can get what you want right now without working for it. I know that sometimes they are used out of necessity, but you have to be responsible. Yes, I do have a car loan, haha. There is the whole fast food industry. Fast this, instant that, easy this, convenient that. We get what we want and we get it now. Things have been made so easy to the point that when things get tough, we naturally look for the easy way out. And divorce has been made so easy that when marriage gets tough, many people seem to think divorce is what they're SUPPOSED to do. We're getting a divorce because we're just not in love anymore. We still love each other but we're getting a divorce because we argue too much. We're getting a divorce because he wants to move for his job and I won't leave mine. On and on. Okay spent a little more time on that than I meant to since I know it has nothing to do with this topic, but ya know, hehe Anyway, Cool, if my previous post sounded in any way shape or form to mean that you are abnormal or wrong or bad, that is not how I meant it. I am trying to encourage you toward where you can find real, unconditional love in Jesus so that you don't look for the right love in the wrong places and get hurt in the process. That's why I was saying in several of those things that I've been there or felt that way. I think most people have. It is a growing process. You are very normal and there is nothing "wrong" with you any more than there is something "wrong" with the rest of us. Post Reply
cowgirl1984 View Profile History	Does anyone else besides me feel this way? Posted : 15 Oct, 2010 06:01 PM CORRECTION: I didn't mean, "we naturally look for the easy way out," I meant "we are conditioned to look for the easy way out." I just couldn't think of the right word at the time and then it came to me but I'd already hit "submit" Post Reply
View Profile History	Does anyone else besides me feel this way? Posted : 16 Oct, 2010 06:58 AM sorry cowgirl I get very protective if young Christian men. It is hard being white and male today and it is really hard being white male and Christian. Post Reply
TogetherinChrist View Profile History	Does anyone else besides me feel this way? Posted : 16 Oct, 2010 07:57 AM I have lived for that which you seek. I was married for 20 years...my wife walked away from Christ...she was raised in the church...imagine that! Let me share... You may think your ready..but maybe..just maybe,God isn't finihed preparing you for your bride. Are you willing to read the Word and pray with her daily,comfort her when she is hurling...sorry...or when she is being Not so kind. You see,marriage is being with your best friend. Spending all your time with that one person,until Jesus takes us all home. Never sleeping alone again,getting up early spending time with God,so you came serve your family. You will be their Priest,their Profit,and their King before the Lord...are you ready?...Gods ways are far above our own. Hey,God knows you better than you know yourself. Psalm 139...wait on Him,Trust in,Rely on,Cling to Christ. His timing IS perfect. Hang around Godly people..spend time serving,witnessing is a real character builder,espesially when your shot down.Ask God to fill your time with what He wants! He will ALWAYS be there for you...and your future bride! Don't be discouraged like Silver said you seek Godly things.Hold onto those closely to your heart,those are gifts from God! You WILL be a great husband and father! Steven 1 Peter 4:10 Post Reply
riveroflife1 View Profile History	Does anyone else besides me feel this way? Posted : 16 Oct, 2010 10:12 AM Good stuff TIC Post Reply
View Profile History	Does anyone else besides me feel this way? Posted : 19 Oct, 2010 05:24 PM These dating sites can be kinda depressing for just the reasons you said - putting yourself out there and no hits - or not any significant hits at least. I agree with the doing stuff off line that someone mentioned - my home church doesn't do any singles things (there's not even a singles SS class - I'm in with the young marrieds; fun fun) so I go to a different church for singles night stuff on the occasional friday or saturday nights. Keeps me sane. Spending too many weekend nights at home will make ya crazy. And there's nothing too much to do outside of church that doesn't have to do with alcohol, at least here in my smidgen of a town. Post Reply

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