Author	Thread: Still think about her
Samsonoxide View Profile History	Still think about her Posted : 22 Dec, 2010 12:01 PM It's been a few months since my ex told me i wasn't for her. ofcourse i was torn apart because i really thought she was the one for me. but i realize that she wasn't. even though i realize logically that she isn't for me and we are better off going our separate ways, i still think about her from time to time and know i still have strong feelings for her. i dream about her more than any past girl in my life also. i know this is a part of me working through letting go, kinda like a grief process. but everytime i hear about her or think about her or someone brings her up in a conversation, those feelings of frustration and depression comes back like not a second went by. i really do want to move on, and i know time and love from God is the best way to heal through this process and move on. just wondering if anyone had any pointers to help get through this a little easier. i seem to be perfectly fine until i dream about her or it is brought up in a conversation. Post Reply
yve24242 View Profile History	Still think about her Posted : 1 Jan, 2011 01:12 PM It is true that feelings will not immediately go away. You have gotten to know her and share your feelings and important things about each other. However, time and God will heal your heart. Learning to trust God that the girl for you is waiting to be with you at some point is great hope and knowing that God has this amazing girl waiting for you is something to look forward to. I pray for comfort and peace in your heart. Because in order to you to find that girl you must first let go. I am not an expert but based on my experience, I took each day at a time. I spent more time with friends and whenever I thought of him, I prayed to God to be reminded of the comfort that He gives. There were times when it was extremely hard to stop my tears from falling because everything was too fresh to forget and these were times when God's comfort was greatly felt. (Don't worry, I am no longer at this stage in my life :)). I will be praying for dear brother in the Lord and that God will comfort your heart. God bless you. Post Reply
View Profile History	Still think about her Posted : 3 Jan, 2011 03:09 PM As some have aleady said talk to a Pastor, friend. also, your match will come along and be the right woman. Post Reply
stegoodie View Profile History	Still think about her Posted : 6 Jan, 2011 12:13 AM I know this thread is a bit old but I'll still toss in my two cents. I had a similar problem recently. My ex girlfriend broke up with me about a year ago but we have remained fairly close friends. We send texts back and forth to each other fairly often. Unfortunately, this would, at times, cause me to think about what she meant to me as my girlfriend and make me feel really lonely and depressed. Eventually I got so fed up with these feelings that I just took it to God and laid it out before Him. I said (and this is as close to literally what I prayed as I can remember), "Hey God, I thought You were blessing me by putting this person in my life. I know You don't give anyone more than they can handle but this really hurts. What's going on?" You know what the answer was? "I did bless you." "Huh?" What I've come to realize since is that God did not put this person in my life to bless me as my girlfriend/possible future wife as I had originally thought. Instead, He was blessing me in a different way. He was answering a different prayer of mine and teaching me several lessons in the process. My point is that God is always working to grow and refine us as Christians. He blesses and teaches in many different ways and in many different situations. One possible way to move forward after your breakup is to reexamine the relationship and see just how God blessed you through it or what lessons He's taught you. What did God intend the relationship to be for? Anyway, that's just my two cents. Hope it helps. Post Reply
Brownsugarhippy View Profile History	Still think about her Posted : 12 Jan, 2011 06:08 PM Time heals all wounds. If I had not lost my ex I would not have met the most wonderful Christian man that is just right for me -hang on to Jesus!!!:angel: Post Reply
View Profile History	Still think about her Posted : 6 Feb, 2011 06:08 AM Believe you me, brother, I know what you feel. Divorce is like nothing else but a death that you never can quite get over. It is both a literal and symbolic death of a relationship, of a time in your life you gave everything up for only to find your all rejected by the one you hoped completely gave themself in returh. Death requires grieving and time to process what is surely the most personally traumatic thing you can ever go through .. but what's worse is that in a real death, you bury your loved one and there's a grave for closure. In a divorce, the dead still walk around you, call you, and you can watch them go out ahd enjoy their life like you meant nothing and you were nothing to them .. while you and your shattered love and heart lie bleeding in the gutter and you wonder man, how much blood does this thing have in it? A lot. A lifetime of relational unity, the bonds you swore out before God you'd never break, is what you're feeling the pain out of. Ultimately, it's not the hassle and contention you miss, but what you cherished of the uniquely personal ideal that you and your ex shared. There's an unspeakably unique place of personal fulfillment and normalcy you came into with them .. you built a history, you had fun, you enjoyed life, you made love and you two became one .. How can anyone married not miss that or not feel the exquisitely personal pain from that? That is why it is so devastating. I have been there, am there and for me, a mournful note of musical pain will sound in my heart just by uncovering an old picture, or I go to a certain place, find a left behind bit of clothing .. it agonizingly forces me to tearfully wonder again of, as one of my ex's bluegrass songs so well put it, "missing who I was when I was with you" .. It's not the bad times you remember, but the good, what she was to you and what you hoped for, longed for, dreamed. And the cruel thing is that there's only the reality of what it was - you were rejected and pushed out of her life (that's my case, don't know about yours). The guilt, the second guessing, the bargaining with God .. ahhh, yes, I know all of that. BUT It gets better, brother. Let the memories slip away. Don't dwell on them. You're cherishing a dead thing that is gone. You have to make an intentional and conscious decision that you are going to put what you were out of sight, out of mind, and look ahead to God for the favor and the grace He will give in helping you find a new love who will embody all of the Biblical ideals and a new dream of lifelong commitment that you harbor in your heart. Look ahead. DON'T look back and quit inviting the memories in. That's the toughtest thing to do as you mourn your loss, go through the shock, sorrow, anger and bargaining before you finally accept it, forgive and choose to move on. You HAVE to choose it. No one else can. When I did so, my life completely changed. Sept 5, 2010 would have been our 18th anniversary, and instead, it was the day I was in church with my brother and God spoke to me and basically told me I'd gone as far with it as I should and that the end had come, that I had done all I could and He was pleased with how I'd fought to save our unity and that I had embodied His love through it all. It was then, He told me, basically, to cease effort and to let her reap what she had sown. From that day onward, I have not been the same and never intend to be what I was a year ago. I must say that from that point on, once I knew how completely she wronged me, I was determined to find out if I was still worth loving, still could love. A week later, I got on a dating site (not this one) and found after creating a profile that yes, there were women who found me attractive and appealing .. who in sharing of themselves indicated a depth of character in Christ and an assessment of themselves that suggested that yeah, women could be trusted .. and new life could be ahead. I poured myself into it and haven't looked back. There are lots of wonderful women on this site. Be blessed, brother, don't look back. Look ahead and enjoy some great fellowship here. Post Reply
Namugenyi View Profile History	Still think about her Posted : 10 Dec, 2013 03:56 AM hello, i understand and i know what you mean, sorry about your pain. yes if you truely loved her its really hard to forget especially when your lonely or in places or even doing something that you used to do together, ive been through it too and still going thriugh it after two years, its realy painfull and its hard to people to get it as moast think its as easy to get over. But keeping your self bust with maybe good friends and loved ones can help alittle bit, going out and doing things can help too. once you find someone who loves and apprieciates you dearly, you will heal with time. it will go but it takes time, hang in here , be strong for your self and one day you will be fine. Warm hug. xxx Post Reply

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