Author Thread: All of those women that have turned me down
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All of those women that have turned me down
Posted : 8 Jun, 2020 06:52 PM

They have all missed out on a man that will care for them, protect them, and comfort them. I know what kind of a man I am. No matter who or what tears me down I'll get back up again and again. My body is weak, but my faith is strong.

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All of those women that have turned me down
Posted : 14 Jun, 2020 08:47 AM

Hi Zee. I can see that your personal experiences in South Korea must have had a really lasting impact on your faith. That must have been a daily struggle. Glad you give the atheists some I'm glad you prevailed through the cultural shock and the spiritual warfare. Morgan and other readers can learn truth from your Taijon story that they can relate to their relationships.



Before anything, Your comments about Atheism/China/Hinduism should be addressed. You've raised up the crucial issue about abortion and the 1-child policy in China. The Chinese government and its atheist ideology implemented it. Secular India with its Hindu cultural practices (castes and dowry) has emphasized a 2 child policy. Girl infanticide/abortion is common there too.



To add to that, the Asian culture with its Confucian values stressed that image is everything. If you are born in China with physical defects, automatically you bring your entire family shame. Chinese girls in general have the privilege to be picky now and turn down those that affect their image! "college degree from a 3rd rate school?', "don't own a $1 million USD apartment?" ...Good luck marrying a Chinese lady from Shanghai as a Chinese dude. The pride of the women accumulated greatly through decades of the 1-child policy (bride-trafficking demand increase).



Relating this back to your experience to Korea... Perhaps this cultural aspect clarifies the materialism you saw while living in Taijon. With the amount of culturally Christians you saw there, we can just imagine the number of cultural Christians in the West. It was great you shared the contrasting lifestyles you experienced Zee.



A note for Morgan: It will be rare to find someone that accept us solely based on "our faith." I think it's important that we don't take rejections personally, but also we shouldn't adopt a mind-set of, "she or he missed out." Perhaps we should ask, "what did I learn from that encounter?" We have to be more presentable and offer more than just that if we're looking for a relationship. Your looks don't need to dictate your relationships. Your past doesn't dictate your relationships. Please don't think you aren't enough for a relationship. Don't think you are going this struggle alone. Self-esteem doesn't stay stagnant. I would encourage you to read the Wikipedia page of "Napalm girl." Faith is a journey. Take care bro.

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All of those women that have turned me down
Posted : 14 Jun, 2020 08:43 PM

Some good points, Dave. My ex-girlfriend was Korean, from Pusan, which is the southern tip of S.Korea. Her Mom came to Christ because her son was born with a disability and had special needs. The family were ashamed, as I understand, (Confucianism) leanings with Buddhism influences. A friend of the mother told her that she was blessed by God to have a special child, and that started things. She went to church, got saved, and both her daughter, son and herself are Christians. The Dad, I think may not be, I'm not sure as of now. Powerful, eh?

Also, you note on materialism. I see many Chinese here in Canada, and some women are very pretty, but so fixed on $$$, and the mindset is unhealthy in this area. I also know there are born again Chinese Christian women who are setting this world on fire with their faith and love of Jesus Christ! So, that dichotomy exists. Yes, your advice for Morgan saddens me, but it's a lot of the time, true. Most women won't be interested in us for our love of Christ alone. We will need that financial stability, the security some desperately want, or think the need. I understand a woman wanting some security to raise a child up. I get that. But, many women are greedy and selfish. I hate to say it, but I think it's true. I've seen too much of it. The humility of a wife and love of God first and foremost, has to be there. If she loves God, she will understand that knowing Him, and loving others, spouse, and living, serving Him, are the most important things. Money is just a tool, and when the women are seeking money as a standard of marrying a guy or not, they are putting the cart before the horse: dangerous, as they can't make intimacy to a pile of cash when the love of the relationship gets tested by Satan, as the woman married more for security and money then for actually loving the guy. This is the danger of women seeking the earthly, temporal treasures in their spouses, instead of their actual spouses. This has to be balanced as well, with normal work duties, sharing each others resources, time and talents, and two becoming one in everything in the marriage. I've focused on the traps that many women get into that will cause them so much misery, but there are also traps that men fall into, and we can discuss this at length as well.

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All of those women that have turned me down
Posted : 15 Jun, 2020 07:35 PM

I mentioned meds. Sometimes that helps. But many doctors can suggest things like counseling, biofeedback, deep breathing, exercise. There are many ways to combat depression... my main point is to stop talking about it and take steps to improve your health.

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Marcouse

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All of those women that have turned me down
Posted : 18 Jun, 2020 10:55 AM

We are all victims of the 80 / 20 rule, that is to say that 80% of women are after the top 20% of men. Before the internet when the pool of suiters was smaller over time you would more than likely find a woman. Now every woman has a huge pool of men to look through online if you are an average or even above average man you are still up against it.

The flipside is women are much more picky and 60% of them will not get those 20% top men. They will then either have to settle or once they hit 40 and have little chance of children they will be doing the old tears in the rain speech.

You are 29, 12 months of training (weights, cardio and Thai Boxing etc) you will look like you should be one of those Spartans in the 300 film. I've seen plenty of men in their 30's transform before my eyes. You just need consistency and not worry about others opinions, enjoy the grind and hitting personal bests regularly. Most important of all don't put up with any BS, if a woman wants what you have make her work for it. You can still have kids for at least another 20 years and many women like older men.

Don't forget when the world goes to hell you are physically more able than most women, in a survival situation that counts.

Also remember that the world and God owe us nothing, we can only strive to be the best we can be and what happens, happens.

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All of those women that have turned me down
Posted : 19 Jun, 2020 06:58 PM

I don't need any meds, and I already see a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist may not be the best, but I always take my troubles and hardships to God. That's where I get my strength. I love my body, because it was it was created in the Lord's image, what I don't love is being judged because of it. That's what hurts. Yeah, I'm a big guy, but I also have a lot of family members who are and were big, so no how much weight I lose I'm just going to remain big. And before you tell me I should exercise, I do exercise. 50 pushups and a stationary bike thingy for 30 minutes a day, except on days where I have to cut grass (because there's a lot of grass to cut). And before you tell me to "put down the chips and the candy" let me just tell you what my diet consists of. Egg beaters, because they are made of egg whites, and I've never really cared a whole lot about the yellows, and sausage or bacon for breakfast. Chicken fingers (which taste better than regular fried chicken imo) or one of those microwavable burgers (which taste better than a homemade burger) or one of those small boxes of pizza (again, I think it tastes better than any other pizza). For a snack I'll have a bag of chips or some popcorn. I don't eat candy other than Reeses, because that's the best thing man has ever invented. I don't care about other candies, especially Hershey's, I hate those, and I think they taste bad (I probably offended a lot of people just for saying that). Then there's water which I drink constantly. I always have drank a lot of water and I always will. Even when I was a kid once I just took a whole jug of water out of the fridge (the jug being bigger than my head at that time) and I just drank about half of it. I probably drink more water than anyone should. And yes, God or this world doesn't owe me anything, but that's not going to stop me asking God for the things I desire in my heart. I don't want anything this world owes me. I only want what comes from the Father. If I have to conform to this world to have a wife then forget it. No woman is worth giving up my salvation. I'm sorry if any of you women here gets offended by this, but I love my God more than I love you, and I expect the woman I marry one day to do the same.

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