Just for a little background...I am getting ready to start my senior year of college, and I'll be 21 in September.
I have never been in a relationship, been kissed or ever even been on a date.
I know a lot of you are thinking, "She's young, she's blessed enough to be in college...what does she have to be upset about?"
And I agree. I am extremely blessed in my friends, my job and my family.
Yet I can't help feeling broken-hearted that no one wants to be with me.
Everyone tells me it's not me...but really, at this point, doesn't it HAVE to be something to do with me?
I don't necessarily want a pity party. But I am tired of being the only one of my friends who has nothing to contribute to the "relationship" discussions.
I feel like I try so hard to do the right things...yet come Saturday night, I'm never the one with anything to do except be a third wheel for my friends who are in relationships.
At the same time, I don't want to "settle" for someone who isn't right for me or will try to force me into something I don't want to do.
I know how you feel. I am 23 and have never been in a relationship, never been kissed and started feeling very bad for myself especially when literally everyone i know is getting married and starting families and im the only single girl in the group. Family would tell me to just wait and enjoy my singleness, they wish they had waited until they were older but their words just made me more depressed.
I had to pray that I would lose these feelings because I realized I was becoming desperate. My attitude today is totally different, I am enjoying my singleness, being by myself and everything that goes along with being single such as being able to go when i want to or the biggie not having to find a babysitter if i want to go somewhere. I would still welcome a relationship but i now have peace in knowing that god is in control of the timeline of my life so even if im single until im 30 i will be ok with it, because i know that God has someone for me and he will bring him in his time.
I hope this helps you.:glow: and know that you are not alone there are alot of us in the same situation.
God knows you, what's in your heart, and everything that you need, and in His time, His answer will always be Yes and Amen if you will remain faithful to Him and wait patiently enough for His perfect plan to manifest,
you know dear, with the kind of a job i have ( im a singer by proffession ), people say like "what you are still single?", i did ask myself the same question few years ago, because i planned to be married by the age of 28, so i started to look for a man whom i could spend my life with. But the more i keep my focus on the people around me getting married and me still being single, i tend to start feeling lonelier and did things my way and not God's way especially in choosing a partner...i ended up having engaged with man who looks good to my eye but not in His eyes. ( due to loneliness and desperation ) but our God as merciful as ever, spared me from a total destruction and showed me how to overcome loneliness while waiting for the perfect time He will send the one He has chosen for me...( and im still waiting)
focus on Jesus, His Word and give more love to others, that way, you would be too busy to think about yourself and how lonely you are, and the more smile you put on other people's face, the more love you'll get back...i dont feel lonely anymore, though at times a bit because of being away from home, just keep on praying for the Lord to open doors for you to meet people who would strengthen your faith and people whom might be needing your help.
If you feel like you got nothing to contribute about relationships, share to them your relationship with the Lord,
i did spent most of my time volunteering, mainly on Children's home, Special school for children, rendered dance classes, visit Old folks home ... anything that you think you would enjoy at the same time help others and make use of your time in a wise and helpful way, that would surely bring smile to our God's face.
You will be too busy enough to forget about you being lonely and you'll find later in your life that you have received so much love from the people whom you have shown love...
Last but not the least hold on to Gods promises...He has something special waiting for you...God bless you!
the answer is to become more attractive in every thing in the way you think, the way u look, the way u dress , the way u speak. the way u smell,the way u treat people. for example when somebody speak, they may be rude to people so they don't look very attractive. or i will use myself for example, for me to make myself look more physically attractive I get a hair cut every week,I iron my clothes, i take the lint of them ,i whiten my teeth,i buy new clothes, i shave every day, i clean my shoe, i work out at the jim or at home. it takes some work. because i could just not get my hair done and shave once a month. i probably wont being looking my best. so u might have to work at it. when was last time you got ur hair done? how badly do u want a ma? because it may take some work. but hard work does pay off. if u keep working at it, u will get one. I hope this helps.God bless
AllAbout, let me set you straight on something...just because a girl tries to make herself more attractive does NOT mean that she will get a guy.
I agree that we should try to stay neat and clean. I certainly try to look my best. But. If a guy is interested in me JUST because of my appearance, and for no other reason, I can foresee a lot of problems down the road. Aside from the fact that eventually I will get old and wrinkled, what if something happens to my appearance as a young person? What if I'm in a horrible car wreck that seriously disfigures my face? What if I get cancer and have to have treatments that cause me to lose all my hair? What if I get pregnant and gain a lot of weight that is hard to lose? Not to be crude here, but what if I look a lot different on my wedding night than the guy thought I would...clothes can hide a LOT of imperfections, you know.
I think that the attractiveness we should strive for should be deeper than physical beauty. Yes, we should take care of our appearance, but we also need to make sure that we are attractive in our character, personality, morals, behavior, Christ-likeness, etc. That is what will still be there even if our physical beauty vanishes.
BC, you are correct, if a guy ONLY wants you for your looks then that is a problem. You are correct that things can change, but hopefully there will be some true love between the two of you by then. But, beauty is something that is important when starting out because all there really is, is lust and infatuation.
There really isn�t a lot that one can change about oneself unless you have surgery, you are what God made you. But, there is one area that we can control and that is our weight. I know this is a touchy subject because it can be so hard to control one�s weight, but the truth is that we can. It really doesn�t matter if you have a small figure or if you are curvy, or if you are bigger on the top, or bigger on the bottom. What most guys like is simply someone who is smaller in the middle, someone who has a figure that vaguely resembles an hourglass shape. If you are bigger in the middle then most guys will have a problem with it.
There are guys out there who are very picky about a woman�s beauty, but the truth is that if you simply focus on being at a normal healthy weight, put a little effort into keeping yourself groomed, and wear clothes that fit your body type well, most guys will find you attractive (and by healthy I mean according to the CDC normal weight). Of course then you need to match up on personality, life goals, yada, yada, yada� But at least you won�t be chasing them away before things begin.
I�m not trying to be mean, I am trying to be helpful. I know what it is like for people to look you straight in the face and tell you that there is nothing wrong when they know full well what is wrong. I also know what it is like to struggle with your weight. I have been putting on weight for the past three years, and I thought I was simply overweight and not obese. I am finally trying to lose some weight, so I bought a scale to keep track of my weight loss. I found out that I am actually obese and that I am 46 pounds overweight.
I do agree with you Cobbler, and I totally agree that appearances are important...especially at first. Sure, being a healthy weight can help, and maintaining a neat and clean appearance will certainly not hurt!
My point to AllAboutJesus (I think that's the right name) was that there isn't necessarily some magic that can be worked by a girl just making herself more beautiful. I think his post could be taken as a "Do this this and this, and Voila! You'll get a guy." It just doesn't always work that way.
advice from experiance ,,ive waited many years for the same as what ur looking for ...
AT age of 47 ,48 i found the true desires for my heart,,,,and at that point i was so thank full that i never tried to inpress any one by the way i dressed or the way i looked ,,,i just stayed as my normal self...GUESS WHAT !!
after my fiance passed away her mom let me go thru her things ,i found a cd she had made .ON the face of the cd she put our pics ..the pic of me was a normal work day wearing a ragged cap,unshaven,torn dirty shirt ..it made tears she loved the real me ,i never had to match a style or iron my cloths or have special hair cut,,,,what more can any one want but to have some one who loves you for who you are not who you try to be in images cloths or style fashion what ever...
MY point is be your self ,the best partner for you is the one who loves your evveryday self...and if it takes anothe 5,or 10n or 15 yrs and GOD grants you with a person who loves the real you,,,then you will be more blessed than changing your self to find a man who loves you for who ur pretending to be ,we cant pretend for ever ,we will become our selves again,, so be your self !and when you meet him you will thank GOD that you waited ,itis written GOD knows the desires ofyour heart..
for me it was so awsome to meet some who was a perfect partner for me,we could talk and share anything because we were like matched souls ,NEVER did i feel so confertable ,and at peace i never feared to be my self because my self is what she loved,,,we had a extremly short time together but by waiting i learned GOD truly knows the desires of our heart and can fill them,,,
best advice still is
proverbs chap 3 v 4,5,6 then he will guide us i grant us our desires acording to his will.
Hi, I saw your message when I was in a chat room and was looking at another profile of someone who responded to your message. Funny thing is that I am from Rohnert Park! Are you involved in Intervarsity at SSU? Calvary Chapel in Petaluma is a wonderful church with lots of college activity going on. My 20 year old daughter lives in R.P. and does active things like hiking, walking, goes to the gym. Maybe you could get together with her and do some fun things. Just keep the faith and hold onto the Lord for guidance and direction because He loves you and has a plan for your life! Feel free to reply. God bless you!
That is the same feeling i had in your age , i felt so alone . you know what , even if you are a never been kissed ,or never in any relationship , as long as you have friends around you, it does not matter . Do not let peer pressure bothered you . You know ,the best is yet to come ,if you only wait .
Maintain a friendly attitude , be kind and helpful . that is all , because i knew , some one out there is looking for that character .remember God created you in His own image , so you got it all .
