I'm not really looking for an answer because I know it will take time after being hurt...again. But it really hurts and I guess I just need to say this.
After almost a year of seeing someone who I thought was very special, someone I had trusted and thought was sincere, he decides that he doesn't want to "date anymore." Just ten days before that revelation, we spent almost the whole day together and everything was just as it had been. We laughed and joked and enjoyed each other's company. I don't understand and he says that it's not anything I've done. Okay...game over.
I'm so sorry that you had to experience such a thing. When people whom we love, trust and allow ourselves to be vulnerable to abruptly leave and abandon us, it completely shocks us. It is devastating to our emotions and sense of self worth . Why?
Because especially men, represent Christ to women, and when someone does such a thing to another person, they are severely misrepresenting Christ, and the way HE loves us and desires to be near us.
Remember the words of Christ to His disciples..."I will never leave you or forsake you".
What you experienced was a form of courtship that had gone very wrong - wrong in the person's heart and mind you were seeing. This man should have never placed himself or you in the position he did without full intentions of marrying you.
Intimacy can take place on many levels: emotionally, physically and spiritually. If we cross the line in any of these three areas while courting, we have set ourselves up to be hurt very deeply.
Listen,
As much as it hurts, if this man was willing to do such a thing to you, then it is likely that the Lord saw this man's heart and protected you from being hurt and damaged even further.
The Lord loves you Ladysharon, and He desires you much much more than any man could ever desire you. God is never mean to us, even when He allows these things to happen in our lives...an example of this would be Job.
Pray that God would use this situation in your life to draw even further into His loving arms.
I'm sure that people here will pray for you as well.
By the way,
Another young woman here on the forums just expressed going through a similar situation. Her username here on this site is Katiekatie21. She is 25, and the man that left her for another women is getting married to the other woman within the next couple of weeks. I gave you her info in case there was something the Lord might say to her through you.
Like Dreamtime said, the best way to learn how to trust, is to give everything to God. Which is easier said than done. Give all your worries about relationships to God on a daily basis.
So sorry for your pain and hurt. There are no easy answers for these times and why people do what they do. Brokenness is a place where the Lord walked much and will walk with you through to the other side. He is faithful and the only One I put my hope in.
Do press in to Him and fellowship with Him in His suffering, He knows you better than you do and will give you the desires of your heart in His time.
Peace to you during this Resurrection season for all of us. Hugs (((()))) :purpleangel:
Thank you for your reply, Max. I sincerely appreciate all that you said.
Just for the record, the gentleman I was referring to was always a gentleman with me but we did talk about getting married somewhere down the road. We had been seeing each other for almost a year. I guess what really hurt was that he ended our relationship so abruptly, without warning, so to speak.
My focus has been on our Lord and I know that He will see me through this hurt just as He has seen me through every valley throughout my life.
Hopefully, KatieKatie has a close relationship with our Lord. It's the only way to survive these trials in our lives.
Thank you also, for your reply catty-(what was it? LOL) I'm sorry. I've never been good with names and some of these names on the site are just very hard to remember once you've changed screens :goofball:. Forgive me.
Like I said, I am trusting our Lord. I've had a very close relationship with Him for many years and He's never failed me.
It's nice to know that all of you would take the time to comfort me. Thank you very much.
ladysharon, it will get better with time. i was married 10 years and everything, so i thought, was great. one eve. he said cath, we have to talk. i've found someone and i'm leaving in the morn. i said no you will be leaving tonight! God gives us strength beyond our comprehension.
My Dreamer33 your advise is so true,,I was married for 31 years and the sense of being abandoned is awful..It has been 3 yrs since he left and I still struggle,but I see Gods hand in so many ways..I know he loves me and loves me no matter what ,and as you said he will never leave me...I do believe that trust has to be earned,,I hope I have a little more wisdom than when I was 20 Donna
I'm sorry that you had to go through that experience. I'm sorry for the life your ex-husband's now living that the Lord will most likely not be a part of.
When I was 15, my parents left me on their 93,000 acre ranch for over a year by myself while they went through their divorce. The ranch was in the middle of nowhere, and there was no way for me to get off of it. I had no TV, no radio and no contact with anyone the entire time I was there. An ex-employee of my fathers would bring me food twice a month, but I was not allowed to return with him - I spent a week trying to muster the strength I thought I needed to end my life. As difficult a time as that was, it did not compare with situations I would experience afterwords through relationships, family and a church I was excommunicated from.
Through it all though, I can see my Father in Heaven.
What was it that Job did wrong to deserve what God allowed to happen to him? Or did God allow what happened to Job, to bring Job even closer to Himself? In the end of the Book of Job, Job says that he'd heard of God with his ears, but that for the first time, his eyes had seen God, but only after going through the trials of having lost everything in his life....except the Lord.
During the times when it seems we've lost everything in our lives, if we stop to consider the reality of our situations, God has gone nowhere. If He's left us with our sight, our ability to hear and our lives, then He's left us with those things for one reason - to come to know Him, love Him and experience HIS love like we never have before.
In all my trials, the Lord has never left me or failed me, not even once. I have chosen to walk away from Him, but He has never left me for a moment.
I read your profile as well - I've read all you ladies profiles!
I just want to thank each one of you for your willingness to share on this site. There are sooo many hurting people here in need of a renewed hope in Christ that it can be overwhelming. There are so many people here who are lonely and hurting. Who are looking for someone to notice them, make them feel special and loved. I pray that God would open our eyes to the ministry that is possible on sites such as this - for that matter, all around us.
We can't guarantee that anyone here or elsewhere will find what they're looking for - the disciples couldn't guarantee these things either to those they met. But like us, they were able to pray, and share the ONE relationship, the ONLY relationship that is guaranteed to all of mankind, if we'll only let go of everything and place our lives in our Father's Loving Hands!
I pray that the Lord would give each one of you here the grace, strength and even the words needed to touch the lives of others you'll come in contact with.
