Nothing has or is going right. I just lost my car in a wreck, I can't seme to find love, I have no friends, my parents just keep yelling at me how it's not their problem and blah blah. My dad said it's not his problem and that he shouldn't have to drive me to school(college). I'm broke with no way to get to a job now. Nothing seems to ever get better. No one ever thinks anything good of me. Like all this just leaves me feeling worthless. No one cares... I'm falling to pieces... I just want to end it tonight...
I'm a virgin in many ways, to so many things in life. It's as if I'll never know those things. I'm like a once hopeful heart that has been erroded by time, turned into a dessert, into pure nothingness. They leave me empty but yet full of bitterness and rage and yet nothing matters anymore...
You've just got to persevere. God is always with you even in the darkest times and he will always bring good out of even the worst situations. If you have a Bible, open it up to just about anywhere and you will see it.
Take Job for example. Absolutely everything was taken from Job but he stood by the Lord and God rewarded him with even more than he had before.
Look at David. David was a man after God's own heart. He was king of Israel but Saul sent him fleeing for his life. God cared for David, restored him as king, and made David's lineage the one that would Christ came from. Look at Psalm 27 and what David says there. "The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid? When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies and foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident." You see, God had David's back and guess what; HE HAS YOUR BACK TOO! All you have to do is look to him.
Psalm 27 goes on to say: "One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple. For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock. Then my head will be exalted above my enemies who surround me; at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the Lord.
Hear my voice when I call, O Lord; be merciful to me and answer me. My heart says of you, "Seek his face!" Your face, Lord, I will seek. Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper. Do not reject me or forsake me, O God my Savior. Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me. Teach me your ways, O Lord; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors. Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, breathing out violence. I am still confident of this; I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."
You and I are about the same age and I can tell you that there have been several times in my life I felt just like you do now. In high school I was an outcast and the frequent butt of jokes. I had a few friends who didn't share most of my values so I never felt understood. I always felt like a disappointment to my mother though I was second in my class. When I finally left for college, I thought I was finally free. Two weeks in my dad was killed in an automobile accident. A family friend told me I had to be the man of the family now but I though my dad would have wanted me to go back to school and I have often felt guilty for it. But God had already provided for me. In less than 2 weeks, he'd put me in the midst of the guys who would become my best friends. He showed me how he was going to use all that hurt to make me a stronger Christian and a better person. I guarantee if you give up the hurt to him, you'll experience the same. I'll leave you with a few verses from a hymn: Fear not, I am with thee; O be not dismayed, for I am thy God, and will still give thee aid. I'll strengthen thee, help, thee, and cause thee to stand, upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand. When through the deep waters I call thee to go, the rivers of sorrow shall not overflow, for I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless, and sanctify to thee thy deepest distress. When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie, my grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply. The flame shall not hurt thee. I only design thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.
Life gets us down constantly. We wouldn't be Christians if it didn't. I strugged with cutting after being sexually harrassed for nearly two years, until God brought a boy into my life who would change my entire view of the world, who would teach me more about love than ever before. I lost him after I nearly killed myself. It's been six months since we broke up and I miss him terribly, but God has carried me through losing the person who was my world and whom I thought I was going to marry someday. Many of my friends have been suicidal at one point, but since I have been there, I can tell you that it doesn't last forever. Pain and suffering can't. They don't have that kind of power. It seems like it, but all the tough stuff that comes along is there to make you into the person God already sees you as. Suicide is the devils/worlds way of trying to prevent the good stuff you will do in this life, and someday you'll look back on this and KNOW that it was all worth it.
It doesn't help with the pain now, I know. But there's a verse somewhere in the Bible that says, someday, all your weeping WILL (not might, WILL) be turned to joy. The agony and hurt will come again, but so will laughter, and hope, and joy. It's always darkest before the dawn, so keep holding on and do everything you can to FIGHT the feelings that are bringing you down. Someday you WILL meet the person who will truly care about you and will do anything for you. It's the only way, since if you're not called to be single (and you obviously aren't, because you have a strong desire to meet a loved one) you are called to marry. Pray. Call a friend. Go do something that makes you happy. Refuse to worry, and even if you do worry, ask God for forgiveness and don't feel guilty. You are forgiven for everything. Guilt isn't needed. If God can find a way to walk on water, He can find a way to bring you the love of your life and also find a way to get you to college and to work. I am uncertain why this breakup happened to me, but all I know is that God must have a better plan, so I just have to learn to trust Him, no matter what. You are loved more than you know, by many people, even people who don't show it. So be still. Sometimes all it takes is the thought of getting through one more night...and the next...and the next.
I don't know you but I love you soooo much! The God we serve is so much greater than any problems we may have.
Please take a deep breath--- and give it all to Jesus.
There is no way to"end it". It's appointed unto men once to die but after this the judgement. The end is just another beginning. My heart was broken because my own father saw no way out and no one told him Jesus had The Way!
Please message my inbox- I will give you my number and will pray with you any time you start feeling this way.You can call and talk any time you need someone to listen or just need to rant. Sometimes God uses strangers to help so be not forgetful to entertain strangers cause some have entertained angels unaware.
These verses in Psalms are a comfort in my own life when the going gets tough: I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart: wait I say, on the Lord.
Psalm27: 27:13,14
The book of Psalms is full of comforting Words that may help.
Just remember that "this too shall pass".
There's no telling what wonderful things God has in store for you! You are in my prayers.
I want to tell you something. When I was a little bit younger than you I was trying to go to college and everything was against me from succeeding but you know who was always there for me??? God was and still is. Let me tell you honey that your parents and every other person on this earth might let you down and not be what you want or need them to be but God never lets you down. Yes, life has trials but you know HE has always promised to see us through it all!! About a month ago, I was scared and nothing was going right, and you know what I told God, "well Lord what are you going to do about this"? You know what I turned it all over to Him and He made things happen for me in short time. Don't every give up!!! It really is always darkest right before the dawn. Give it to God and watch Him work, but you have to let go of it and really give it to Him!!! He loves you, he made you the way you are and there is no one else like you that's how much He loves you!!! If you ever need encouragement, e-mail me and I will try my best to lift your spirit!!
Thanks for all of yalls encouraging words. I feel like I'm going to have a nervous breakdown or something most of the time but I am trying to give it all to God. I'm praying, begging him to work everything out, but I know I have to do what I can too. I actually might have a car soon. Praying that it works out and I'll have a car. Then hopefully I can get a job and all...
My thoughts and prayers are with you! We all go through very difficult times in our lives, and the thing to remember is that God knows our situation and He is in control....continue to pray and read His word for guidance and comfort.
Giving it over to God can be hard sometimes when we have so many negative things going on, but God can take those things and turn them into beautiful blessings.
Hang in there, and know He loves you so much that He died for you!
