Author	Thread: Was I in the wrong?
Eskimo10 View Profile History	Was I in the wrong? Posted : 9 Oct, 2010 08:23 PM I guess this is the best forum to post my story. Back in March/April I met an amazing girl on here. We talked constantly through June, I left for a week on a mission trip and we kind of fell off through June to the middle of July. During that time, she re-met a guy in that she had known in HS or so she said) and they reconnected. (At this point it should be noted she lives in Michigan, and I live in VA). I had no idea, and she didn't tell me, so we reconnected again in July and began our relationship again, when in August up pops a notification on facebook that she's in a relationship with this guy. I confronted her about it and her response was "I didn't want to hurt you." But she maintains that if I had been more vocal about how I felt about her she would be with me and not him, but she just missed the feeling of being held, etc. Well this goes on for a few weeks, I'm still crazy about her, yet she's with him, telling me how much she likes me, but is with him. Well I do my research (some would call is stalking lol) and of course she's "in love" with him, etc. Anyway so I've been having this sinking feeling, and I confront her about it, she's been sleeping with him (and feels guilty about) but again won't break up with him (it's "not easy" she says). Well we continue to talk on and off (mainly off because she doesn't make me a priority in her life as I did about her), but eventually I grow sick of it and flat out tell her I'm done with it. I can't sit back and take this. I'm done making someone a priority in my life, when they won't make me the same in theirs. So last night I walked away from her. Was I in the wrong here?? Did I do something wrong?? This kind of hurts because I trusted her so much and she lied to me, she was a priority in my life and took it for granted, she didn't care about me. Sorry for the book or a story there lol. Post Reply
View Profile History	Was I in the wrong? Posted : 9 Oct, 2010 09:24 PM Dude you should of forgotten her when you found out. No you're not in the wrong. I've had simliar stuff happen to me. It hurts so much because you care about them deeply and they don't even consider you're feelings. Of course you can't make someone love you but that's life... Post Reply
Eskimo10 View Profile History	Was I in the wrong? Posted : 10 Oct, 2010 12:18 AM Yea, I guess you just become blind to the things you don't want to see ya know? Oh well, after the message she sent me on facebook tonight, I'm done with it, she's gone in every facet of my life, she's essentially dead to me, as harsh as it may sound. Seeing her true colors has been very liberating tonight. Post Reply
i_live_in_canada View Profile History	Was I in the wrong? Posted : 10 Oct, 2010 01:19 AM Ok first off I am going to guess that you never actually meet? I know you can still be hurt but this is probably for the best. Why would you want some women that was with some one else? If she would be caring on some on line relationship with you while with some other guy she is not trust worthy. Take it as a lesion and take your time. Don't invest too much to fast. I can not stress enough how people are not usually what you think they are. It's easy to see people as better then they are when you are in love. Give them time to show there true selves. The truth and flaws will come out. In time your pain will leave and be replaced by wisdom. What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. Post Reply
DEEDEE72 View Profile History	Was I in the wrong? Posted : 10 Oct, 2010 07:27 PM Can you elaborate moe on "kind of fell off'? Did you tell her you were going on a trip and still wanted to be in a relationship with her? Did she know the trip would be just 1 week? I am in no way excusing her behaviour just trying to get a better understanding...I think you have the patience of Job to have stuck with her as long as you did... Post Reply
SilverFire View Profile History	Was I in the wrong? Posted : 11 Oct, 2010 03:55 AM It doesn't look to me that you did anything wrong, except for not respecting yourself a little more. (Yeah, I know it doesn't feel like that when you're crazy about someone -- all that matters is your commitment to her, not your respect for yourself). I'm pretty jaded about online stuff, but I got there by going through the same sort of thing you just did. I guess this is the usual way we all get wisdom, though. Post Reply
View Profile History	Was I in the wrong? Posted : 11 Oct, 2010 08:00 PM Sorry to hear that.. But you're not wrong. Just as simple as it is, in Christ-based relationship, it takes three to tango (God, you and your partner). Just remember that God has a WAY better woman for you :applause: Post Reply
View Profile History	Was I in the wrong? Posted : 12 Oct, 2010 10:20 AM You made the correct decision. Post Reply
View Profile History	Was I in the wrong? Posted : 12 Oct, 2010 10:21 AM well said silverfire Post Reply
cowgirl1984 View Profile History	Was I in the wrong? Posted : 13 Oct, 2010 11:38 AM Here's how I see it Eskimo. She is leading you on for one thing. And for another, if she's sleeping with this other guy, and she's the kind of girl who would go behind the back of someone she claims to love and is having sex with in order to tell another guy how much she cares about him, she would have dragged you down too and you likely would be involved in a sexual relationship with her and she would likely be cheating on you, etc etc. She is bad news and count your blessings that you did not end up with her. I'm not saying she's evil or the biggest wretch on this earth, but she is not in a good place at all. She needs to get her life straight. And if you were with her, she would be dragging you right down into a deep dark hole with her. Post Reply
Eskimo10 View Profile History	Was I in the wrong? Posted : 14 Oct, 2010 11:00 AM Wow sorry, been away for sometime, didn't realize you guys had posted haha. @i_live_in_canada = No we did not meet, but were planning a trip to meet and hang out. But yea, it's chalked up as a learning curve and life is moving on :) @SliverFire = yea its funny you mention that, because the study I lead for high school guys is going through James and we talked about God giving us trials to strengthen us (such as wisdom by making stupid decisions as such ya know). @DEEDEE72 = what I mean by fell off is that our talking became less and less. To the point where is was maybe every 3-4 days we'd talk, but it would be a great long deep conversation. She did know all about the trip, we even talked a little bit during the trip... I think that patience sometimes is my weakness. I am patient for SO long and so forgiving it comes back to bite me in the butt. @JesusLoveYouAndMe = you are so right! I'm beginning to learn more and more How far off from God she really is (and wondering if she really is a Christian). Her profile (which has since been deleted) said things about being pure, which was very hypocritical to her lifestyle, so I'm just glad I didn't waste anymore time on it. @Itasca = Thanks :) @cowgirl1984 = You are very true, thats one of the realizations I came to as I was doing some soul searching. I don't want anything like that, or anyone like that. Thanks for all the insight guys! This healing process is hard, but your encouragement has been wonderful!! Post Reply

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